Let me share my personal philosophy first:
Really smart people, then Ta must be quite transparent in marriage.
Because if a person can't even see the trivial things like marriage clearly, then it means that there are very huge loopholes in his values, world view, and outlook on life.
That's why he was disturbed by the marriage and was overwhelmed.
I always say, but it's not about wealth, that's why.
Then, in light of what has happened recently, I would like to share with my brothers and sisters some of my personal insights on the topic of marriage.
Not for anything else, but I just hope that you can understand these truths, so that you can suffer less losses, be less fooled, and be less injured in the very small matter of marriage.
And be able to smoothly find your own reliable lifelong teammates and tie the knot.
1 - Never rush to marry someone who "feels good" when you are not deeply involved in the world, or when you have a serious lack of social experience and have not even met a few decent people of the opposite sex.
I can say responsibly that the vast majority of marital tragedies are caused by this situation, because lack of sufficient social experience is an extremely dangerous thing, and it will easily make you make the fatal mistake of "treating trash as treasure" and "impulse as true love".
Therefore, whenever a young person comes to me to look at the pattern and marriage, even if I know that he will meet the right relationship in four years, I will strongly ask him not to be idle in the past two years, and still try his best to pursue the best quality of the opposite sex that he can get, have more love experience, and precipitate more experience in getting along.
2 - In all fairness, when it comes to marriage, I firmly believe in the words "the right person", which means that if you want your marriage to be happy, don't follow the example of those who take advantage of women and men in vain to reach the sky.
The gap between you and your spouse must be controlled within two social levels as much as possible, unless you have absolute confidence in your emotional intelligence, and the advantage of this emotional intelligence must be recognized and appreciated by a large number of superiors and seniors around you in daily life.
To tell the truth, a marriage that spans classes, after the enthusiasm gradually fades, is very likely to be a weak and backward party, and it will be a long time of swallowing needles and suffering.
3 - Over the years, there have often been women and men who want to "marry high and marry high", because they know my skills and resources, and come to me to analyze the pattern and marriage, and want me to introduce them to them.
In this regard, my attitude is always "I'm sorry, I can't do anything".
Because of the group of women and men, basically 99% of them are groups with developed cerebellum and slow brains, and they all belong to the kind of group that can get some small results that make them complacent in the short term, but in terms of long-term life process, they all fail in the end.
Why?
It's very simple, that is, all the little tricks, small words, and careful thoughts are all strange and obscene tricks that can only deceive others for a while, but it is absolutely impossible to really deceive people for a lifetime.
So you see, those women and men are all unhappy in their marriages, and then they have to force an image of "independence".
In addition, from the perspective of traditional culture, why fishing women and men generally keep fishing all their lives, but they can't get ashore no matter how they fish, and they will never get a real destination, is because everything they do in this process is essentially cheating, deceiving, and cheating, and they are all short-sighted behaviors that are very detrimental to themselves.
4 - Of course, occasionally some men and women will get some small results in a short period of time, and then gain wide recognition in that circle for a while, but in fact, they cannot be "in-depth and long-term observation", because after a long time, it is often accompanied by various bloody incidents.
Another objective example is that some of the men and women who came to me were all out of trouble, and their reputation collapsed, and they came to me for advice when they were desperate.
In this regard, I can only helplessly explain a simple truth:
Since ancient times, good things don't go out, bad things spread thousands of miles, and the most short-sighted and ignorant point of the group of men and women is that they don't understand that the "high-quality marriageable group" is actually a very, very small circle, so if you eat too ugly, then the actual situation is for a few fruits on a tree, and as a result, you directly bid farewell to a whole forest.
Subsequently, I can't whitewash and turn the tables on this situation, so the only thing you can do is to give up the circle you have worked so hard to climb into, and completely relegate yourself to a worse circle that has nothing to do with the previous level.
5 - Therefore, this is the fundamental reason why, in fact, the fishing of men and women generally does not end well.
It's because they're so caught up in predatory mining that they're completely unaware of:
The high-quality circle of the opposite sex is actually very small, the word-of-mouth collapse spreads very quickly, and a small sum of money is really not worth mentioning compared to lifelong happiness... And so on and so forth, these are deep problems that they are not even aware of.
6 - However, there is one thing that my brothers and sisters can learn from me, and that is the spirit of "taking the initiative".
In fact, I have always been very emotional, in fact, there are still a lot of good men, good women, good boys, and good girls in this world, but why can't you meet them? It's because you're too introverted, low-key, honest, and duty-bound, and don't take "knowing the right sex" as a serious task.
As a result, the current marriage ecosystem is:
Good men and good women tend to be stable and responsible, so they will not have a particularly strong desire to socialize, nor will they have too many emotional experiences, and then this will give countless men and women with other intentions to take advantage of the opportunity.
Then, after hurting the sincerity of the good people and plundering the benefits, the good people fell into a long-term moral or legal dispute, and as a result, the good people who were entangled by them did not have the strength and confidence to find a new fate.
This is the main ecology of the current marriage environment.
7 - So, even if you are a brother or sister who comes to me sincerely to explain the pattern and marriage, I will clearly and unambiguously state two important core suggestions:
★ Forever, always, never Don't sit stupidly and wait for the arrival of the right fate, you must take the initiative to contact the high-quality opposite sex by yourself, even if it is to be friends Usually simple small talk and gatherings are things that must be done.
Don't listen to the advice of some people with low standards, believing that when the time comes, the right fate will find the door by itself, this kind of stupid thing, it's like you have good fortune in a certain year and then you can get rich lying down at home, it's completely impossible.
★ You have to stay away from people who are unhappy in their marriages and who talk about the antagonism between men and women and all kinds of shady "tricks" all day long, who are very unlucky, just as you must stay away from liars if you are serious about business, just to avoid being splashed with blood one day.
Be sure to get together with friends who are sincere about marriage, willing to treat the other half with sincerity and true love, and then have a better married life.
People are divided into groups, and through the opposite sex they come into contact with, they tend to be more reliable, down-to-earth, and sincere, which are all immutable truths.
8 - It is also very important to keep in mind that:
The most important thing for people who can really go on with you for a lifetime is that the core of Ta should be high enough, if these core plates are high enough, then any other small flaws are completely unconcerned.
On the other hand, don't ignore that the core plate is not good enough because Ta has some small shining points, which is a big taboo.
So, what are the core keys to a person's true marriage?
Willing to work with you to run a good home, can recognize your dedication and sincere minimum humanity, reliable and practical enterprising mentality.
These three things are the core key.
If there are no these three things, even if there are other shining points, they can only be short-term love, not long-term marriage.
Remember, remember, remember.
9 - If you have a little bit of traditional culture, you will understand:
In this life, people definitely have at least one or two positive fates.
But the premise is that you must be clear enough about your own pattern and understand the general characteristics of the other party, only in this way can you not miss this fate.
Otherwise, it is indeed easy to miss out.
Just like last year, a girl who was close to middle age also came to me to see the marriage, and then after I described the characteristics of the suitable object to her, she suddenly said: It turned out to be him?! No wonder we have always been very compatible in our work!
This year, this girl came to me again, but this time she asked me to find a suitable date for them to get married.