It is a common phenomenon for people in rural areas to live in the emotional world between people, and it is an inevitable and indispensable emotional demand.
Since ancient times, the habit of rural people to follow the rites not only shows the desires of the material world, but also shows the needs of the spiritual world, taking into account the needs of these two aspects.
When someone in the countryside is born, when someone enters the marriage hall, when someone pursues a new life, when the housewarming or the opening of the store is celebrated, when someone drives the crane to the west, whenever there is a turning point and a turning point for everyone, it is the time for people to give gifts.
No matter what kind of etiquette rural people follow, there is a reason for the name, and there is a reason for the matter, the etiquette has become the need of the rural people to pursue their emotional needs, which is the righteous and bright thing in people's minds.
Rural people with the ceremony, no matter what the sense of the ceremony, is the result of mutual respect and mutual understanding, do not respect the personality of others, and will not understand the benevolence of others, then the meaning of the gift is gone, is meaningless with the ceremony, just a kind of flow.
Since rural people are courteous, it is a kind of respect for each other, this kind of respect is different from the general mutual respect between people, which is mixed with monetary interests, which makes this kind of respect between people especially more complicated.
Therefore, rural people's etiquette is not only to pay attention to the exchange of courtesy, but also to pay attention to the connection between tradition and rules, but also to have the artistic method of interpersonal relations, and finally express the emotional transmission between people.
Therefore, the etiquette of rural people is not just a play, not a child's play, but a serious attitude, pious, and very particular about the spiritual connotation of respect and integrity.
As the rural saying goes, "the other party respects me a foot, I will respect others", in order to take care of each other's feelings, Sui Li can not take this method, only under the condition of reciprocity, mutual respect, express the friendship between each other, what kind of state is it.
Therefore, there are two layers of content in rural people's gifts, how much they have to give gifts, and the depth of each other's feelings, they are inseparable, they have a good relationship with each other, they can have more gifts, they have more feelings with each other, they have less feelings with each other, they have no feelings with each other, and they can not follow the gifts.
In other words, how much is courtesy, representing the status of the other party in their own minds, indicating that there is a other party in their minds and respect each other.
In turn, how much and how deep the other party has for himself will also be expressed in the courtesy, and those who respect you will be heavier with the courtesy, and the generalization will be lighter and less.
At the same time, the gift is two-way, when you have a big event, the other party gives you a gift, and in turn, when the other party has a big thing, you will give the other party a gift, in the words of the ancients, it is called "courtesy and exchange".
The ancients said that "it is not rude to come and go, and it is not rude to come and go", which shows that the ritual is two-way, it is the relationship between each other, and it is to pay attention to the "exchange of courtesy", which is determined by the feelings between each other.
From the material point of view, it is a reciprocal relationship, if it is not equal, there will be a lot of emotional disputes, therefore, the rural gift must not be "you respect people a foot, people respect you a zhang" non-reciprocal emotional problems, with the gift do not compare, such as with the gift when others give you 600 yuan, you must not return 800 yuan, this is the rule.
The reason is that in terms of each other's feelings, the other party uses 600 yuan to measure each other's emotional relationship, and if you give 800 yuan to the other party, then the meaning of the two parties is very different.
One is that you are dissatisfied with the other party's gift of 600 yuan for you, thinking that the other party has despised the feelings between each other, and the other party has the meaning of contempt and contempt for you, which has caused a contradictory relationship between each other.
The second is that the other party thinks that you have the meaning and suspicion of showing off your wealth with the gift of 800 yuan for him, and the meaning of belittling and despising the other party's poverty.
All in all, the rural courtesy, not only to follow the local customs, to follow the local customs, do not be unconventional, grandstanding, not to raise oneself with the courtesy, and belittle the other party, with the gift do not compare, should be a reciprocal relationship, you give me 600 yuan gift, I will also follow you 600 yuan, if you intend to follow more or less, are not rules, are not right, are the reasons for creating contradictions between each other, are very wrong practices, so, with the gift is skillful, there are rules, is to pay attention to reciprocity, and follow the general principle of mutual exchanges。
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