Text/My Generation's Emotions Narrated/Zhao Erwa
My name is Zhao Erwa, and I grew up in a small village in central Shandong Province.
At the east end of the village, an old locust tree is a gathering point for the old and young masters in our village.
Under the trees, old people smoke dry tobacco, children chase and play, and women talk about their parents' shortcomings while doing needlework.
The village in my memory is always so quiet and harmonious, like a faint ink painting, simple but full of life.
My family is a big family, my father is the second in line, there is an uncle above, and there are two uncles below.
Uncle is grandma's heart and has been spoiled since he was a child.
My father was different, he was mischievous and always made my grandmother angry.
Grandma often said to her father, "Second brother, you see how honest your brother is, can't you learn?" My father always smiled, turned around and went to climb a tree and dig a bird's nest.
My father and brothers have a few brothers, although they have very different personalities, but their relationship has always been very good, especially my father and uncle, who grew up together, got into trouble together, and were reprimanded by my grandmother together.
In those days, living conditions were difficult.
We are in the rice area, and in the spring when the upstream reservoir releases water, the village starts to grow rice.
However, the yield is not high, and the rice harvested in autumn is only 100 catties per household, which is not enough to eat.
In order to fill their stomachs, the villagers used wheelbarrows to push rice to the mountains to exchange for dried sweet potatoes.
Every time my grandfather came back from a food exchange, he would always bring back a small bag of peanuts, which was a rare delicacy for us.
Grandma would fry the peanuts, mash them, mix them with brown sugar, and give them to the old grandmother (my father's grandmother, we call it grandma. Eat, said to be coughing.
And a few of us children, we can only watch with our eyes and occasionally taste a little bit. I still can't forget that craving for food.
Grandpa is a scholar, and he always says: "Babies, study hard, and you will have a good future." ”
Those ancient books at home are our treasures.
In the evenings, my grandfather would light kerosene lamps and teach my father and brothers how to read. Uncle learns quickly, and grandpa always praises him: "The boss is smart and can achieve great things in the future." ”
Although my father didn't have a taste in his heart, he had to admit that his uncle did have a set of reading. At that time, they all dreamed of getting out of this small village and seeing the outside world.
But I don't know that the outside world is not as simple as grandpa said.
In 1979, it was a spring, and a sentence from my uncle and grandfather brought a great opportunity to our family.
He said that there was an opportunity in the factory to let a baby go to the city to work as a worker.
At that time, this thing was rarer than pie in the sky.
When the grandparents heard this, their faces were full of gloom.
That night, the atmosphere at home was even colder than winter. Grandpa smoked a dry cigarette and was silent for a long time before he spoke: "The eldest and the second, you two discuss and discuss, who will go?"
The father and the uncle glanced at each other, and they both understood in their hearts that this was not just as simple as entering the city, this was a watershed in fate.
That night, my father was called to my grandfather. Grandpa's voice was low and firm: "Second brother, I discussed with your mother and decided to let your brother go." You work in the village. ”
Father's tears welled up instantly, and he choked up and asked, "Dad, why?
Grandpa sighed, and grandma wiped tears on the side: "Second brother, you have strong bones, your brother he..."
That night, he didn't go home, but his grandparents found him in the woods in front of the village, and his grandmother hugged his father and cried, "Second child, my father and mother can't stand you." I know it's not fair to you, don't you think we're not sad in our hearts? I cried all night with your father, so you can understand your father. ”
"Second brother, your father and I have thought about everything, you are strong, and your brother is weak, he can't do farm work. ”
On the day the uncle entered the city, his father insisted on sending it.
I remember it was an early morning, foggy, and my father walked barefoot on a road full of stones. I asked him distressedly, "Dad, don't your feet hurt?"
The father just smiled: "What is this pain, your uncle is gone, and my heart hurts." "When I got to the county seat,
The uncle held his father's hand tightly: "Second brother, I'll wait for you in the city." The father shook his head: "Big brother, you do a good job, I am at home." "The uncle left, and the moment my father turned around, I saw a trace of firmness flashing in his eyes, and there was also a trace of helplessness.
In 1980, the wind direction changed, and everyone in the village was talking about the production responsibility system.
My family also contracted a large piece of land, and my grandfather's brows finally relaxed, and he said, "Now it's okay, we can farm the land and harvest the grain by ourselves." ”
When my father heard this, a glimmer of light flashed in his eyes, and he patted his chest and said, "Dad, I will definitely plant the land well and make our granary full." ”
Uncle works as a worker in the city, but his heart is always in the village.
Every time he comes home, it's our holiday. I remember one time, my father heard that the uncle was coming back, so he walked dozens of miles to pick him up in the county seat before dawn.
When the uncle saw his father's worn feet, tears fell: "Second brother, why are you suffering?" The father just smiled: "Big brother, you are the pride of our family, I have to let you go home in style." ”
That night, the two brothers sat under the old locust tree and talked all night.
We didn't even get to Grandpa to say go, and that winter, he had a heart attack and left before we could arrive.
The uncle knelt in front of his grandfather's coffin and cried like a child: "Dad, my son is not filial and has not been able to make you happy." "I stood by and felt like I was stuck in something, and I felt terrible.
The father put his arm around the uncle's shoulders, choked up and said, "Big brother, Dad can go at ease, he knows that our family is fine." ”
At that moment, I understood that no matter how hard life is, as long as my family is together, it is the greatest happiness.
The uncle has a firm foothold in the city, and every time he pays his salary, he always sends the money home as soon as possible. He said, "If you have a bite to eat at home, you will not be allowed to go hungry." ”
I still remember that during the Spring Festival that year, Uncle sent back a large bag of New Year's goods, which contained candy and snacks from the city.
Grandma touched those rare things, tears in her eyes: "Boss, you have taken out all your heart to the family." The father was on the side, rubbing the package with his rough hand, and muttered: "Big brother, you are always like this, you have to endure hardships yourself, and you have to make the family better." ”
As she got older, my grandmother got sick and was very sick.
The doctor said that it was an old man's disease and needed to be taken care of.
After discussing with two uncles, our family decided to take turns taking care of my grandmother. During those days, everyone in the family was busy, but no one complained.
I remember one time, my grandmother held my hand on the sickbed, and her voice was weak: "Erwa, you are all good children, grandma is content." ”
I held my grandmother's hand and felt sour: "Grandma, you will be fine, we will have to spend many, many years together." ”
Grandma's illness is getting worse and worse, and after the uncle found out, he kept sending money back.
He said: "I can't be filial by my side, this money is a little bit of my heart." Every time my father received money, he would sigh: "Big brother, we all know your contribution to the family." ”
And our family also tried our best to take care of my grandmother and not let her suffer a little grievance.
I remember that once when my uncle came back and saw us taking care of my grandmother, his eyes were red: "Although I am outside, my heart has always been with you." ”
In the spring of that year, my grandmother was so sick that she couldn't even get out of bed.
She called her father and brothers to the bedside, and the grandmother, as if she had made up her mind, said weakly: "You four brothers are here, and today I have to say something, this matter has been hidden in my stomach for many years, and if I don't say it again, I won't have a chance in the future." ”
Grandma took a deep breath and said in a low voice: "Your uncle, he is not our biological child." I was stunned, and my grandmother continued: "I couldn't give birth to a son and a half daughter to your grandfather back then, so in order to prevent your grandfather from breaking off, we adopted your uncle." ”
I looked at my grandmother, and I had mixed feelings in my heart, but more admiration: "Grandma, no matter what, uncle is our relative." ”
The day my grandmother left, it was a rainy morning. Everyone in the family gathered around her bed, she held my hand, and her voice was weak: "Second baby, grandma's life, the most sorry thing is you and your father." ”
I couldn't stop crying: "Grandma, don't say it, you will always be our grandma." Grandma closed her eyes peacefully, and the house was filled with the sound of crying.
Uncle cried heartbreakingly: "Mother, why did you leave?
After the death of my grandmother, the uncle seemed to be a different person, he came home more often, and every time he came back, he brought a large bag of things.
He said, "Grandma is gone, and I have to be doubly nice to you." "I looked at my uncle, and my heart warmed. The uncle also took out his savings and bought endowment insurance for his father: "Second brother, this is a little bit of my heart for our father and mother, and it is also a compensation for your hard work over the years." ”
The father had tears in his eyes: "Big brother, what are you doing here? We are brothers, don't talk about this." The uncle held his father's hand tightly: "Second brother, we are brothers, but we are also a family." "The love between family members cannot be exchanged for anything.
During the Spring Festival of that year, the uncle came back with his aunt and a cart of gifts.
In the old house, the lights are bright and the laughter is constant. The uncle sat on the kang, holding his grandmother's old cigarette pouch in his hand, with tears in his eyes: "Over the years, I have always wanted to come back, and now I am finally back." ”
The father smiled and patted the uncle's shoulder: "Big brother, when you come back, our family will be reunited." ”
We sat around the fire and listened to the uncle tell stories about the city, and the children asked curious questions about this and that. No matter how big the outside world is, home is always our harbor.
When the uncle retired, he said to me: "Erwa, I'm coming back, I'm retired, where can I go if I don't go back to our village?"
I asked him, "Uncle, is the city bad?" and he shook his head: "The city is good, but our roots are here." ”
He told me that he planned to renovate the old house and spend his old age in the village with his aunt.
After the uncle returned, the house became lively again. Together with his father and uncles, he kept his grandmother's old house in good order.
Every time there is a family gathering, the uncle is always busy with the food. He said to his father: "Second brother, you have worked hard all these years, and now it is my turn to come." ”
The father smiled and waved his hand: "Big brother, we are a family, don't talk to two families." "I looked at the elders in the family, and my heart was warm, this is home, no matter where I go, I can't let go of my worries.
After the uncle retired, he did not stop supporting the family financially. He used his pension to help his family repair their house and buy farm tools.
He said to his father, "Second brother, this is a little bit of my heart for my family. My father was so moved that he couldn't speak, but nodded vigorously.
After the uncle retired, he talked a lot, and every time he had a family gathering, he was always full of emotion: "In my life, I am most grateful to our father and mother, as well as you brothers and sisters." ”
He looked at me, his eyes were full of affection: "Erwa, you are the pillar of the family, you must take good care of your father and your mother." ”
The uncle said: "Our old Zhao family, although there is no wealth and wealth, what we have is this family affection and this unity." ”
I looked at my uncle's gray hair, and I understood that home is not only a house, but also a responsibility and a heritage.
Disclaimer: The story belongs to literary creation, please do not sit in the opposite seat, if there is a similarity is a coincidence, please read it rationally.