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The older I get, the more I feel that feelings are never static.
People who used to be very clingy to themselves and liked to report big and small things may suddenly become cold one day in the future, and even replying to messages will become "reincarnation".
People who have promised themselves a life and planned for the future may also be able to leave in the future and no longer be nostalgic for the past.
Whenever they encounter a similar situation, there are always people who wonder if love is really too vulnerable, or whether the person they love is unreliable and will be so hurt.
In fact, there are many reasons, because feelings themselves are uncontrollable.
Just like the weather, even if the weather forecast tells you that the sun will shine tomorrow, there is no guarantee that a storm will come suddenly.
The heartbeat when you first meet, and the vows when you are dating, can't guarantee that you will end up working together for a lifetime. It's like a favorite dress that you once loved, maybe one day, you don't like it for no reason.
Similarly, when a relationship is about to come to an end, don't hold on to the past, love is unreasonable, because the love at the beginning was real, and the current "fate" will be exhausted.
Especially when these "signs" appear in the relationship between two people, you must understand that this may be a manifestation of the imminent fate.
01
Attitude becomes "cold"
In fact, the changes in the relationship between lovers generally begin with:
The novelty is gone.
The more familiar the two people are, the fewer surprises there will be, and the lower the excitement will be.
When the initial enthusiasm fades, the relationship is flat, if two people can still get along comfortably, and are willing to manage their feelings with each other, then there is a high probability that the two will be destined for each other.
On the contrary, if with the passage of time, the lover's attitude towards himself becomes more and more cold, then there is a high probability that the relationship has also come to an end.
Even if not all feelings can be "only as first seen", even if blandness is the main theme of life, it does not mean that it is normal for the lover around you to speak coldly.
I swiped a help post:
The netizen said that she and her boyfriend have been dating for 5 years, and they have always been rushing to talk about marriage, but recently she felt that her boyfriend's attitude had changed a lot, and asked him what his plans were for the future.
She asked netizens online for help how to change the current situation of the two, even if they are not married, they hope that her boyfriend's attitude towards her can be the same as before.
There are many comments below questioning her whether she has paid too much, causing the other party not to know how to cherish it.
Only one reply hit the nail on the head: "If you don't get married for 5 years, your fate has long been over!"
In fact, in relationships, there are always some people who will fall into misunderstandings:
After being together for a long time, the relationship between the two will naturally get deeper and deeper, and it is a matter of time before they get married.
But this is not the case.
Feelings are not spring planting and autumn harvest, not sowing seeds, and they can be harvested naturally when the time comes, nor is it pregnant in October, and the melons can welcome new life when they are ripe.
In real life, it is common to "look at each other and get tired of each other" because they have been together for a long time.
It is true that the relationship will fade, but the attitude of the lover will become cold, which often means that all the enthusiasm and patience of the lover in the other person is gone.
In other words, the likes and loves that used to be may have turned into boredom now.
If the existence of a lover cannot arouse the warmth in the heart, and if the beauty of yesterday cannot arouse the nostalgia for the lover, then the person in front of him may not be a "good person".
And the fate of this relationship may also be consumed to the point where there is not much left.
02
"No way to go or go back"
In life, there is always a warm moment, and that is to recall the past.
The same is true between lovers, two people have held hands for many years, and in one afternoon, they recall the scene of their first encounter together, recalling the ups and downs of the past, and it feels romantic to think about it.
But in the relationship, there is a more cruel existence, that is, yesterday's everything is a thing of the past, one party is deeply involved, and the other party no longer looks back, and even just wants to escape.
When the common memories of the two can no longer make both parties empathize, then this relationship is likely to have come to an end.
In a lawyer's live broadcast room, I swiped a wife's complaint:
In fact, the plot is very old-fashioned, that is, the husband was poor and white, and with the help of his mother's family, he developed little by little, and now he is sitting on how many assets, not only is he not grateful, but he betrayed his marriage, and there are people outside.
The wife has been talking about her husband's past, including her reluctance to share her past experiences and her evaluation of her husband at that time.
When she was immersed in the past and couldn't extricate herself, she completely forgot that when a person no longer cherished the past, her nostalgia seemed meaningless.
Instead, it will be boring to say that it will bore another person.
You must know that a person who lives in the past is often difficult to accept what is happening in the present, and a person who no longer looks back on the past is often more satisfied with the reality of the present.
When two people who should be hand in hand live in different "time and space", such feelings have existed in name only.
It's like yesterday's sunshine, which can't dry today's clothes.
Not every lover with a good past can resolve all today's problems with his previous affection.
No matter how difficult it is to turn back the relationship, it does not mean that the time that has passed is gone, but that it is uncontrollable in the relationship, whether it is a person's growth and change, once the current situation is achieved, the so-called good past is covered up, swallowed, and can no longer be turned out and revisited.
Just like every couple who fall apart because of divorce, even if they have memories, it is difficult for them to remember the old love.
has such a performance, it has nothing to do with whether a person is ruthless or not, it's just that he doesn't love so much, so he doesn't even want to remember the gentleness he once had.
And a relationship, if it can't be continued at the moment, and the past is no longer worth recalling, then it is obvious that fate has ended.
03
I like a poem in "Cherish Flowers":
"Yesterday I saw the flowers burning, and today I see the flowers falling. ”
Flowers are like this, and so is love.
Many times, there are many variables in people and things, and if you don't treat each other sincerely, you can go both ways, or you can take it for granted.
Feelings need to be managed with heart, and they also need the "help" of fate.
If "the sand that can't be grasped, it's better to raise it" is a wise move, then the fate will be exhausted, and timely stop loss may be the best choice.
This is not selfishness towards feelings, on the contrary, it is responsible for two people.
After all, when it has come to the end, if one party can't recognize the situation clearly and struggles to keep it, it will be the troubles and helplessness of the two people.
Therefore, when certain "signs" appear, it is necessary to know how to choose, which is the best explanation for each other.