Wanting children to do their homework is probably every parent's greatest wish.
However, parents' nagging and preaching, as well as urging "is it time for you to do your homework", are often of no avail and will only make children more reluctant to do homework.
Parental nagging has only more side effects, either the child is confrontational or the child only takes a small step forward when he hears the parent's nagging.
In fact, parents can't be blamed completely, if the child does not finish his homework, the teacher will be the first to find the parents, thinking that the supervision of the parents is not in place, and naturally the parents will act as the responsible person for the poor supervision.
But letting parents keep an eye on homework is like using a paper towel to block a broken water pipe, which will not help at all except add blockage.
Although parents do not have control over their children's homework, it does not mean that they are completely left alone.
Remembering this sentence "I love you so much, so I won't quarrel with you for homework", the relationship with the child has been greatly eased and the solution to the problem has been solved, it has four meanings:
The first meaning: quarreling is a matter of two people, and you can choose not to quarrel.
I used to get mad at my child for not doing his homework on time, turning off his TV, confiscating his phone, and the result was that he also lost his temper with me, whether he should write or not.
I was so angry that after forcibly turning off his TV, I thought that the culprit of all this was the fault of the TV, and I was so angry that I smashed the TV.
Even so, the child did not go to homework, but was alone in a daze, or rushed out of the house, refusing to talk to me.
At that time, I was very sad and thought: I asked you to do your homework, not so that you have a good grade, the beneficiary is the child himself, not me.
When I think that I am not afraid of hardship and fatigue for the sake of my child, I can do anything in order to facilitate his learning, but why don't children understand my hard work?
If you don't understand it, why do you deliberately say mean things to irritate me?
On the other hand, the tense parent-child relationship before was not the child's fault, but I was too concerned about letting the child do homework, too concerned about grades and results, and too much about letting the child win.
So there was a lot of quarrels and anger caused by "for his good".
In many cases, it is possible not to be noisy, just need to "let him go", respect the child's wishes, and not be forceful, which not only makes the child feel happy, but also makes the parents feel comfortable.
If you can't win, don't choose to lose, emotions don't solve the essence of the problem.
The second meaning: We pay more attention to the parent-child relationship than homework.
When I realized that "I love my children, not my homework", I was suddenly relieved.
I want my child to do homework, just to let my child have good grades, a good way out, and let the child live happily and have some choices.
And now forcing children to do homework is actually depriving children of their right to choose and happiness, imposing their "so-called good" on children, and destroying the harmony of parent-child relationship.
Loving too hard will not only hurt the child's feelings, but also suppress the child's confidence, making the child feel suffocated and uncomfortable.
Parents retreat to their own position, care for and care for their children more, and understand and empathize with their children more, perhaps feeling that this will not write homework or cannot finish homework, and it is not an unforgivable sin.
When everything starts with love, not "you must", there is not so much chicken and dog jumping and hard to accept.
During the two days of the holiday, my child hardly did his homework, and I did not get angry or anxious, but watched TV with him, listened to him talk and share his opinions and feelings.
Seeing that the child is getting closer and closer to me, and the relationship is getting more and more harmonious, go to his homework.
The third meaning: parents should not work against their children, and do not force them to do something.
Just because you don't do your homework doesn't mean you can condone it all the time.
Again, a good parent-child relationship is the premise of solving all problems.
Seeing that the relationship between my child and me is getting more and more harmonious, I will remind me from time to time: Bao, do you have a lot of holiday homework? When are you going to start writing some? When you need your mother's reminder and supervision, feel free to tell me.
The reason why I chose to remind my child on the second day of the holiday is because I know that his homework will not be less, and if he does not write a few days before the previous experience, he will be quite irritable and regretful the day before the start of school.
I have already foreseen the chaotic scene before the start of school, so I will intervene in his study two days in advance and remind him a little.
Not surprisingly, he said: I am ready to write today, and he carried the books to his room, and began to tell me about the homework of each subject, indicating that the homework is not too much, not too little.
Prepare to finish the easiest English and Chinese first, and put math, physics, chemistry and biology last.
He also said that he not only had to write homework, but also listen to math, physics, chemistry and biology classes, which he did not listen to in school very attentively last week, and some of the knowledge points were very vague.
When I heard the child say this, I knew that it was quite the right choice not to nag and not to rush homework, he had a plan and plan himself, and he just played flying while doing it.
Pull it when necessary, but don't interfere to the point that the child is disgusted, which is the best way to accompany the runner.
The fourth meaning: homework is the child's own business.
Many times parents are angry because they regard homework too seriously, and they have a feeling that "if you don't do your homework, the sky will fall".
The more I think about it, the more anxious I become, the more I nag, and the more I urge it.
But doing so not only makes the child more disgusted and repulsed, but also does not play a good role.
Concern is messy, homework is the child's business, parents only need to remind in time, and then return to their place.
If your child doesn't need parental help at this time, don't talk too much, but when your child wants a parent to help, be sure to step up.
Providing help to children without imposing their own will, providing methods without imposing on children, encouraging children to make their own decisions and trying to solve problems, and cultivating the courage of children to bear the results and consequences on their own, this is good enough love and companionship.