People often divide the mentally ill simply into "literary maniacs" and "martial madmen". This categorization, while simple and crude, is easy to understand.
Most of the violent crimes committed by mentally ill people are committed by "martial madmen."
And the kind of people who mumble to themselves when they walk and are as easily frightened as rabbits are mostly "literary maniacs", who only live in their own fantasy world, and even do not leave the house for many years.
Psychiatrist Chen Baizao has worked for 10 years, and the most asked question is: Are you afraid?
She said that she was never afraid of the "crazy" behavior of patients, and the more troubled she was, the faster she got better.
What she is really afraid of is the "declining" people. The patient completely closes himself off and cuts off communication with the world in a silent way, which is medically called autism.
In 2014, Chen met a 14-year-old girl with schizophrenia and autism, who hadn't spoken for four or five years. Without miracles, she will continue to decline until the "door" is completely closed.
But on this day, a roommate came to the girl's hospital room. The roommate's symptoms are the opposite of the girl's - inexhaustible energy, feeling that her IQ can be compared to Einstein's, and even thinking that she can save all mankind.
One of them is like fire, the other is like ice.
When the two met for the first time, the girl, who had not spoken for many years, smiled for the first time. It was then that the roommate decided that he had to save the girl.
The sound of keys clashing echoed through the empty corridors of the psychiatric department. Opening the door, I followed the teacher into the first ward.
The room was large, but there was not a single sound in it. Seven middle-aged and elderly men lined up in a row, squatting in front of the radiator under the window. There was also a man holding the heating pipe, motionless.
No matter what the teacher asks, the answer will never exceed four words -
"Well, okay, no, it's okay to eat......"
The 8 people are completely stationary, they are like "humanoid mushrooms" growing on the radiators.
It was the winter of 2007, and I was still doing my internship, and I was seeing a patient with recession for the first time.
There was an outing that day. Some psychopaths can't wait to get out, shouting, "Ascend, ascend!" is a word they invented, probably meaning "let off steam."
The eight men in the first ward, under the urging of the nurse, first slowly stood up, and then slowly shook their bodies.
They follow the crowd and move out, looking like poisoned mushrooms from "Plants vs. Zombies".
Later, when I became a psychiatrist, the most common question I was asked was, "Are you afraid?"
I am not afraid of the "crazy" behavior of patients. "Trouble" just means that the patient's function is still there, and the more troublesome it is, the faster it gets better, and there will be a sense of accomplishment as a doctor.
What I am most afraid of is the declining patients.
When Siqi came to our psychiatric department, she was only 14 years old, and she hadn't spoken for four or five years.
Will this girl become a "mushroom" one day in the future?
In May 2014, a little girl, Siqi, came to our psychiatric department.
Siqi has short ear-length hair, a round face and a little baby fat. At just 14 years old, she is Corey's youngest patient.
When she first arrived, no matter what we asked, she was blank, unresponsive, and her eyes were empty. Her mother said that Siqi had been silent for four or five years.
Siqi has been an introvert since she was a child and played with herself in kindergarten. She has no friends and is reluctant to go out of the house.
Since the third grade, Siqi has become a little different.
She always said that her classmates disliked her for smelling on her. At first, my mother didn't understand, but she just bathed her daughter every day and changed her clothes, but she still didn't want to go to school.
Later, Siqi began to skip eating, saying that there was also a taste in the food. She didn't sleep at night, saying that there were a lot of people in the house, and it was too noisy.
Sometimes, Siqi was so angry that she quarreled with those people, but there was no one in the house.
Siqi's parents are not highly educated. In those years, the family first invited the great immortal to jump the god, and the more the child was tossed, the more serious it became.
They took Siqi to the county hospital for an examination, and the doctor suspected that she was mentally ill. At that time, Siqi no longer spoke, and the family did not give up, so she sent the child to Beijing to find a specialist, and was finally diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Siqide's disease is called "simple schizophrenia", which is the most difficult to treat and has almost no cure.
Patients with this disease will slowly close themselves off from contact with others, live completely in their own world, and eventually cut off communication with the real world in a silent way.
I once saw a news story about a college graduate who was one of these kinds of patients. He locked himself in his house for 14 years and starved to death.
Schizophrenia with autism is uncommon, and I've only seen studies on it before. Siqi is the first case I encountered.
It is certain that Siqi has olfactory and auditory hallucinations, but we don't know if she has visual hallucinations. Because she doesn't speak, we can only observe and test her little by little.
The etiology of psychosis is not well understood, and so far, there are no objective criteria for the diagnosis of psychosis.
In many cases, doctors can only administer drugs based on the patient's symptoms and their own experience. So you have to observe it repeatedly, and this is the biggest test that psychiatrists face.
We once had a patient who always sold good things to him. He always fights for the opportunity to go out and buys back some inferior things with the money from selling things.
What this patient wants is actually a choice.
Later, we discussed with his family and gave him some pocket money every month, and he really didn't sell anything at a low price anymore.
Only by not evaluating the patient's behavior and trying to understand it is possible to help the mentally ill solve the problem.
Soon after, we noticed that Siqi often walked, her head tilted to one side, as if she was avoiding something.
Sometimes, she would show a frightened expression for no reason, burying herself under the quilt like an ostrich.
Our guess is that she should have hallucinations - seeing something that doesn't exist.
The two-story building of the psychiatric department was built with the aid of the Soviet Union in the 50s of the last century, hidden in the tall trees, and left to be independent.
Even when the sun is shining outside, it's always shaded here.
The inside and outside of the psychiatric building are like two worlds, and sometimes, even I can't tell which one is real.
Compared to the outside, life in a psychiatric ward appears simple and regular – taking medicine, moving, and sleeping at regular times.
People don't have the feeling of being chased by something, they are not anxious, and they seem to be able to return to the depths of their hearts and get closer to life itself.
Every day, patients read books, watch TV, and chat together.
The male patients gathered around playing cards and bragging, and the female patients combed each other's hair and braided their hair. If there is no new patient yelling, the psychiatric ward is truly a secluded paradise where the years are quiet and uncontested.
Even some family members who come to stay with the bed will say, "I don't know why, I don't want to go." ”
The door to the outside world is even more magical.
110 once brought a patient with violent tendencies, and the police finally snatched his knife, and he was stuck in the police car and refused to get out.
In the end, it was several police officers and family members who dragged him to the door of the psychiatric ward.
When they saw me go to open the door alone, the police were very worried and showed me fresh bruises on their hands outside the door.
"It's fine. I called the patient's name, "Take your stuff and go upstairs." ”
The patient carried his bag and went upstairs on his own. He knew the road with ease, as if the fierce struggle just now had not happened at all.
The police officers were stunned and asked me what medicine I had given him, if I had given him electricity, "Why are you so honest?"
"He's in the door, he's resigned to his fate, and there's no more trouble. I said.
We have found that after treatment, the psychopath who is in trouble can regain calm in a maximum of two weeks. But their daily relationship is a problem-
The relationship is more complex between female patients.
There are two female patients who live together, and they don't deal with each other, and the delusions of being killed are aroused.
A roommate spat and poisoned her in a water glass. So every day when she goes out, it's like moving, carrying a big travel bag, carrying a suitcase, and bringing all the luggage.
We quickly separated the two of them, and the symptom was gone.
Therefore, in the allocation of wards, doctors and nurses have to thoroughly consider the patient's condition and personality.
Siqi's room had four beds, only for her and her mother, and two were empty.
Considering that Siqi was too quiet, we decided to arrange Liang Guichun in.
Liang Guichun, in his 40s, is a manic patient.
I heard from the director that she was hospitalized this time because she had a conflict with her colleagues and beat the leader. But in the psychiatric ward, no one stimulates her, and she doesn't be aggressive.
Liang Guichun was very enthusiastic and had a loud voice. It's a bit like Wang Xifeng. I often hear her voice before I even enter the room.
"Doctor Chen, are you fat?" Liang Guichun didn't see it at all, and before I could answer, he continued to mend the knife: "Hahahaha, you see how I can't speak." I'm a person, I just have something to say......"
Liang Guichun has been divorced, has delusions of love, and always feels that others like him.
A few years ago, she said that the guy from the fruit store near her home liked herself and went to find that guy every day.
The guy said that he was married, so she scolded others, "Why do you still seduce me when you are married?
She didn't give up, and finally forced the young man to resign because he couldn't do anything. She went to the fruit shop again to make trouble, saying that the boss had broken up their pair of mandarin ducks and smashed the things in the store.
Therefore, Liang Guichun was admitted to the psychiatric department for the first time.
Mania and schizophrenia are not the same. During the intervals between episodes, the patient is almost asymptomatic and has good social functioning.
Most people who know Liang Guichun think that she is a very warm and kind person. But they don't know that it could be a pathology.
Once Liang Guichun became ill, he felt that he could save the world.
Like a shopaholic, she buys a lot of things. Not for their own use, but for all the orphans in the welfare home.
She spent five or six hundred thousand yuan on the children in the welfare home, and even mortgaged the property left to her by her parents.
Once, because she bought too many things, she owed hundreds of thousands of credit card debts, and in the end, her family scraped together to help her pay it off.
Her parents are old, and her only sister has completely lost patience and doesn't care about her anymore.
Normally, Liang Guichun felt quite ridiculous.
That day, as soon as Liang Guichun entered the house, he saw Siqi sitting on the bed.
She walked straight over, hugged Siqi, and said, "I will live with you in the future." My name is Liang Guichun, you can call me aunt!"
Siqi was frightened by the sudden hug, she didn't speak, she could only be stiffly held in Liang Guichun's arms.
Siqi looked at me with panic in her eyes.
I hurried over and pulled Liang Guichun away. As soon as Liang Guichun let go, Siqi ran to my side.
Liang Guichun didn't mind, she began to look around to greet acquaintances. She was like this every time she came, and she had endless words to talk to people - this was also one of the symptoms of mania.
Before I got off work, I heard the sound of moving tables and chairs from Siqi's hospital room.
When I looked over, Liang Guichun turned the hospital bed she slept on upside down and was wiping the bed board with disinfectant water.
I hurried over to stop it, and she begged me, "Let me finish wiping this bed, and I'll wipe the rest tomorrow." ”
When a manic patient is first admitted to the hospital, he does have to go through such a stage of "tossing and turning". I had no choice but to agree.
On Tuesday morning, as soon as I arrived at the hospital, I saw Liang Guichun standing in front of the iron gate, as if waiting for someone. When she saw me, she shouted loudly: "Doctor Chen, I want to call!"
In order to facilitate management, the department keeps the patient's mobile phone in a unified manner. During the ward rounds, I went to the ward with Liang Guichun's mobile phone.
Liang Guichun was standing beside Siqi's bed, holding a peeled apple to "lure" her: "If you call me aunt, I'll give it to you." Siqi ignored her.
She said, "If you nod your head, I'll give it to you." Siqi still ignored her.
Liang Guichun still didn't give up, she said, "Aunt Chun's back is itchy, can you help me scratch it?" Siqi continued to sit and didn't move.
In the same room, one of them was like a fire, and the other was like a piece of ice.
The handover of "ice and fire" made the atmosphere in the ward extremely embarrassing. Siqi's mother didn't know where to go, looking at Siqi's helpless appearance, I suddenly thought of myself in elementary school.
During that time, I also didn't like to talk.
My dad's friends used to bet on me, "You talk to her, and if she answers, I'll give you 10 dollars." The people came to "irritate" me, and I didn't say a word about what they promised to buy me.
I was a little unbearable, and coaxed Liang Guichun, "You let her eat the apple, and I'll give you the phone." ”
Liang Guichun is a person with exaggerated behavior, and her "change of face" is very fast. She immediately begged Siqi pitifully, "Eat quickly, baby, please!"
Siqi looked at her funny appearance, laughed immediately, and took the apple and ate it.
This is the first time I've seen Siqi smile. Her facial features bloomed like flowers, and her immature face immediately became vivid.
"It's really just a kid!" I thought to myself.
Even when she was hospitalized, Siqi's mother always looked like "I'm too lazy to care about you" to her.
Siqi doesn't seem to have seen it before, and adults can show such a low posture in order to please her.
The hospital stipulates that parents of minors must accompany them when they are hospitalized. Siqi's mother stayed behind to take care of her daughter, but she was often nowhere to be seen.
She loved to socialize and wandered around the psychiatric ward. In a week, she mingled with many female patients, and she could talk to even the most reluctant patients in the ward.
Whenever we talk about excitement, we can hear her shrill and shrill laughter in our office.
When Siqi was hospitalized for almost a week, except for occasional irritability and shouting, most of the time, she sat alone on the hospital bed and did not communicate with anyone.
Every time I make rounds, I will deliberately talk to Siqi, "Where's your mother?" Siqi looked at the door slowly and didn't speak.
I sat down next to Siqi and took her hand. Siqi's hands were rough, with mud on the backs of her hands and dirty between her fingernails.
Instinctively, she rejected physical contact, and shrank a little, seeing that I was more insistent, she didn't shrink back, but just put her hand stiffly on her lap.
"Tell me, where is Mom?" As soon as I finished speaking, Siqi's mother rushed back from the other wards and was leaning against the door frame of the ward to look at us.
Siqi glanced at her mother, then turned her head back to look at me.
After repeated exploration, I gradually summed up the scale of communication with Siqi.
I know that's all I can do for today's communication with her. If she continued to ask, Siqi would have been angry. Either turn your face to the corner or simply lie down facing the wall and stay motionless.
Through a week's efforts, although Siqi still didn't speak, at least she responded to the outside world.
"Take a shower this afternoon, you give her a good rub. The backs of her hands and behind her ears were dirty. Then give her a good wash of her clothes. "When I went out, I said to Siqi's mother.
"As soon as she washes her, she will scream, who dares to provoke her. "Siqi's mother doesn't care.
"Then it's going to be washed too!" I said aloud, suddenly becoming serious.
In the psychiatric ward, most patients say that I am gentle and patient. But for Siqi's mother, I always have an inexplicable fire.
When I was a child, my parents were not around, and I suffered a lot of grievances because of the dirt on my body. When I first saw Siqi's dirty body, I always had the urge to hold her in my arms.
"Look at her now, she can't see the color of her clothes, and she thinks she's a child that no one wants. Don't you feel distressed when you look at it?"
Although Siqi's mother looked reluctant, she said that she would help her daughter do a good job of personal hygiene in the afternoon.
When I had checked all the wards and was about to lock the door, Siqi's mother's loud voice came from the quiet corridor.
She was showing another patient a picture of a child on her phone — Siqi had a 9-year-old brother.
On Tuesday afternoon, there was a cry in the women's ward, which was particularly frightening. The crying was mixed with the woman's scolding.
"Do you think I want to wash you?!Dr. Chen asked me to wash you clean, you hurry up and cooperate, otherwise she will say that I don't care about you......"
I hurried to the ward, only to see a basin of water in the middle of the room, and Siqi's mother was holding a towel that I couldn't tell whether it was gray or green, trying to wash off the dirt on Siqi's body.
I don't know why, Siqi's mother is dressed cleanly, but the things she uses always can't be seen as they are.
Maybe it's hurting, maybe it's unwilling. Anyway, as long as the mother touches it, Siqi hides, and the mother doesn't care so much, she has to wash it when she grabs Siqi, which makes the child cry and scream.
Many mentally ill people live lazy and unkempt lives. But in most cases, as long as others urge them, patients will cooperate, and few people resist so much like Siqi.
Siqi has a lot of resistance to her mother.
At that time, Liang Guichun was washing bed sheets in the water room. Although the hospital will wash the bed sheets regularly, she can't wait and can't believe it.
She always had to wash and wash the sheets with her own hands - of course, this was also a symptom of her mania.
Liang Guichun heard Siqi's shout, she ran in with wet hands and snatched the towel from Siqi's mother's hand.
She looked at the towel and finally tossed it aside, "Baby, let's get you a new towel." ”
After changing into a brand new towel, Liang Guichun refilled a basin of water.
I saw her wash the basin inside and out several times before fetching water. After a while, she put a basin of clean, warm-temperature water on the stool, and moved the stool to Siqi's bedside.
"Let's soak your little dirty hands first. After soaking, my aunt will rub it for you, so that it doesn't hurt. She said.
This time, Siqi didn't resist, she obediently put her hand into the basin, very well-behaved.
Seeing this harmonious scene, Siqi's mother stood aside in a sneering manner.
On Tuesday I was on the night shift, and in the evening, the doorbell of the psychiatric ward kept ringing. Two or three waves of people have come, all of whom have come to find Liang Guichun.
Most of them were friends of Ms. Liang, and some were her former employers.
When Liang Guichun was not sick, he worked as a nurse in a hospital. She is enthusiastic and conscientious, and always takes good care of her patients. The family liked her and would continue to ask her to take care of the patient even when he was discharged home.
Because of his high energy, Liang Guichun also took over some housekeeping and cleaning jobs. She works quickly and has good relationships with many employers.
The vitality and enthusiasm brought by Liang Guichun's mania are scarce for many people. So it's very contagious and engaging.
She called her former employer friends and said she needed some old clothes for teenage girls, and many drove them to the hospital. Although the clothes were worn, they were basically 90% new.
Liang Guichun took his clothes back to the ward and wanted to change them for Siqi, but Siqi said that he didn't want to say anything.
Liang Guichun didn't force her to accept it, so he sorted out those clothes one by one, matched them, and after a while, the two beds were covered.
Life in a psychiatric ward is too monolithic. Usually there is something going on, even if any family member comes to visit, it will cause onlookers. This time, many female patients crowded into the room and persuaded Siqi to try.
Some long-term hospitalized patients, who wear hospital gowns all year round, are reluctant to take pictures.
I went to pull Siqi's hand and tried to pull her off the bed. She still ducked back, but I could clearly sense that she was not resisting very much.
I saw that there were too many people in the room to change clothes, so I asked everyone to go back to their hospital rooms.
Liang Guichun went to persuade again, but this time, Siqi actually did not refuse. Liang Guichun and I exchanged glances and began to help her change clothes.
During the whole process, Siqi did not struggle.
We first helped Siqi put on a yellow-blue striped loose sweater, with a pair of off-white pants and a pair of sneakers, and her whole body lit up.
We struck while the iron was hot and helped her try on a pink puffy gauze dress.
When Siqi stood up, my nose suddenly became a little sour, and I remembered a cheesy saying, "Every girl is a princess." ”
Liang Guichun is like Cinderella's godmother, turning the dirty Siqi into a beautiful princess.
Make this girl look like a girl for the first time.
Liang Guichun was very happy, she clapped her hands and said that it looked good, and pulled Siqi to go out to show everyone.
Siqi stood shyly and refused to move, so I encouraged her to go to the water room to look in the mirror, "Look at how beautiful that girl is in the mirror!"
Along the way, the patients who saw Siqi were very excited, they were amazed, and some began to coax, "Dr. Chen, take a picture of Siqi!"
And Siqi's mother, since we changed Siqi's clothes, she has been standing in the outer circle of the crowd. There is no excessive expression on the face.
What I felt from this mother was more of a depressing, complex thing.
In the eyes of uninformed outsiders, she may not be as good as Liang Guichun. But she is almost using the whole family to treat Siqi's illness.
Siqi's family runs a small supermarket in the village, and the whole family has been tormented in order to treat Siqi over the years. Siqi's father has no fighting spirit, and the supermarket, the elderly, and children are often left unattended.
Many people persuaded Siqi's mother to leave this daughter alone, after all, she still has a young son - smart, good grades, and sensible.
But Siqi's mother just doesn't give up. When she heard from her relatives that our hospital was good, she discussed with her husband that she would give it a try anyway.
Those who come to our hospital from rural areas for treatment do not meet the reimbursement regulations of medical insurance, and they have to pay all of them out of their own pocket.
In order to get Siqi to speak again, she still came.
The transformed Siqi has become a treasure in everyone's hearts.
Before, every time she went out for activities, Siqi, who was wearing dirty clothes and her face had not been cleaned, stood in the corner of the wall, mixed with the surrounding environment, and was an inconspicuous little transparent.
Now, she wears a pink gauze dress, and even when she stands under the wall, she is a pink rose.
Not only did the female patient care about her, but the male patient also began to inquire about the little girl.
When they go out, they play table tennis and badminton. Siqi can play a little table tennis, but she doesn't play well and doesn't dare to play with others. When I have time, I will accompany her for a while.
Siqi often can't catch the ball. When the ball runs away, someone always takes the initiative to pick it up and hand it to her.
At first, she took the initiative to run to pick it up, but then she didn't catch the ball, so she stood there waiting for someone to give it to her.
After the activity, Siqi blushed a little. Although she still didn't speak, she would take the initiative to come up to me and stand very close to me.
Or, she will go to her "Aunt Chun".
Before, Siqi's mother would appear when Siqi was eating and taking medicine, but now these things are all handled by Liang Guichun.
For example, Siqi wanted to eat apples, so she walked up to Liang Guichun with the apples and didn't say anything, and Liang Guichun naturally took over to help her peel them.
Siqi is no longer looking for her mother.
I was also surprised to find that since Liang Guichun came, I rarely heard Siqi's mother's voice in the ward anymore.
I don't know if she stopped talking, or was covered by Liang Guichun's loud voice.
Siqi's progress is in everyone's eyes, and her active behavior is getting more and more. Every morning, as soon as I entered the ward, she followed me to the ward rounds.
When I talk to other patients, I ask her, "Siqi, do you say?"
She doesn't answer, but she smiles and lowers her head.
I felt that she wanted to say something to me, so I brought her a pen and paper from the office for her to write down, but Siqi didn't answer.
I put pen and paper on her bedside table and left. I knew it would probably be useless, but deep down I was still looking forward to something.
Siqi is the most worrying patient in our psychiatric ward.
She was the youngest and the only one who didn't speak. Every day, our doctors and patients talk to her a lot, hoping that she will make some progress.
As long as she communicates with the outside world, she is one step away from recession. It will not become a "mushroom" at a young age.
Every day, the person in charge of cooking will say to Siqi: "Siqi, talk to me, I'll give you two more pieces of meat." ”
The person who helped pick up the table tennis ball would say to Siqi, "Siqi will talk to me, and I will give you the ball." ”
When the nurse draws blood, she will say, "Siqi, if you talk to me, I'll be a little lighter......"
Everyone was eagerly waiting for Siqi to speak. Sometimes, however, too much desire can become an obstacle.
The psychiatric ward was always closed, but what was going on inside could not be hidden.
That day, there seemed to be joy in the ward, and Siqi's mother laughed loudly and passed into the office. I saw that the nurse Sister Wang's face was also smiling, and when I asked what was wrong, she didn't answer.
When I went to check the ward, I saw Liang Guichun in the corridor leading Siqi to activities. As they walked, they seemed to be saying something.
"Siqi is talking?!" I suddenly reacted.
At that time, my senior sister was standing next to me, and she also put a lot of effort into Siqi's treatment. She suddenly squeezed my hand, and I immediately squeezed it back, very hard.
The two of us were about to jump, but we still pretended to be calm and joined the conversation between Liang Guichun and Siqi.
"Siqi, how old is your brother?"
"Siqi, what's your favorite fruit?"
…………
Siqi answered one by one, and later I found out that my sister and I were in tears.
My sister asked me why I was crying?
"I don't know, it's the tears that come out of it. I said.
Sister Wang, a nurse, said that Liang Guichun had a cold and fever and was lying in bed all the time yesterday, and he did not come to the activity room when he took medicine at night. She assigned Siqi a task to give her the medicine to Aunt Chun.
Siqi took the medicine and left, and after a while, she came back and returned the medicine bowl to the nurse. Sister Wang saw that there was no medicine in the medicine bowl, and asked casually, "Eat it or throw it away?"
"Eat. ”
Sister Wang gave medicine to two more patients before she reacted. Sister Wang stopped Siqi, and she even felt her voice trembling, "Really, have you eaten?"
"Hmm. Siqi replied calmly.
"Siqi has spoken!"
Sister Wang said that at that time, all the mentally ill patients in the activity room were screaming excitedly, and some people were jumping.
I wish I had been there.
The first thing Siqi said was actually to her Aunt Chun.
According to Liang Guichun's recollection, at that time, Siqi was holding a medicine bowl to push her, but she didn't move, just said lazily: "You call me aunt, I'll take the medicine." ”
"姨."
Liang Guichun took the medicine and lay down again, she was sore, but she didn't realize it for the first time that a miracle had happened.
From the day she spoke, Siqi began to slowly establish a connection with the outside world.
When Liang Guichun is working, she can help hand brushes, towels or something. I even went to the activity room and sat with everyone and watched TV......
Everyone thinks that Liang Guichun's fever is meritorious.
Siqi has been hospitalized for almost a month, and by the beginning of June, her symptoms were gone.
In addition to Liang Guichun, she has many aunts in the psychiatric ward, and they can often be heard chatting and laughing in the doctor's office.
I seem to be a little over-attached to this little girl, and I always think of Siqi as my childhood self.
I brought her some books and picture albums, but Siqi didn't read them much.
"Open the door to schizophrenic self-isolation and find nothing inside. A psychiatrist once said so.
On the day Siqi was discharged from the hospital, it seemed to be a Friday, and her father and brother came to pick her up.
I finally saw Siqi's brother with my own eyes. Several times during ward rounds, I saw Siqi's mother video chatting with her son.
She held her mobile phone and kept muttering: "Baby, Mommy misses you, Baby, Mommy loves you!"
But the little boy in front of me is not what I imagined. His clothes were dirty, his face was two "plateau red", and if you looked closely, there was also a layer of dirt behind his ears.
At that moment, I was a little relieved.
Siqi's father was not tall, his clothes were crumpled, and he exuded a strong smell of smoke.
He was not yet 40 years old, and his hair was already a little gray, like a little old man. I could feel the pressure this man was undertaking.
When he heard Siqi call "Dad", he was very excited and said thank you to us vigorously.
Looking at his sister in a pink dress, the little boy didn't dare to walk over. He hid behind his mother and poked his head out from time to time to take a look.
"Auntie, goodbye!" Siqi leaned over to say goodbye to Liang Guichun.
I watched from the sidelines, expecting a little bit of a warm goodbye from the two of them. But after a period of treatment, Liang Guichun is not as exaggerated as when he first came.
She didn't get emotional so easily, she just hugged Siqi and said, "It's good in the future!"
Siqi's family got on Wuling Rongguang and walked out of the hospital, and everyone was busy with their own affairs.
Not long after, Liang Guichun was also discharged from the hospital.
There is a small courtyard at the back of the psychiatric building, where the patients and nurses grow vegetables.
Once, the manic Liang Guichun fell in love with a vacant lot in the backyard and said that he would reclaim it and plant roses, "How romantic it should be!"
However, until Liang Guichun left, the roses were not planted. This is something that even the director cannot do.
No matter how well they were treated, psychiatric patients will come back after a while.
One patient, who had been hospitalized on and off for more than a decade, watched the people in the ward come and go and said to me, "There's magic in this place. He hated himself, but he often missed his time here when he was outside.
There is also a little girl who suffers from depression, she said that this place is like a harbor, "When I can't make it, I want to come back and see." ”
Almost a year later, the tree in front of the hospital had just sprouted, and Siqi had returned.
The car driven by Siqi's father looks a little older than last year. He dropped the mother and daughter off and left.
Siqi's mother is almost the same as before, wearing lipstick and trying to be as delicate as she can be.
It was still a little cold, and Siqi wore a white coat, which was still the pink skirt she wore when she was discharged from the hospital. It's just that there are a lot of dark gray marks on the skirt, which should be stained by eating and can't be washed off.
Siqi's mother said that after returning home from the hospital last time, Siqi still stayed in the house and didn't like to go out. They originally planned to let Siqi continue to study in elementary school, and they agreed with the principal, but Siqi went for a few days and didn't go. No matter how much you persuade, it's useless.
She lives a lazy life and doesn't take care of herself. The family was busy, and they didn't take care of it.
I don't know when Siqi stopped talking again. Recently, it has been more serious, she does not sleep well and often shouts in the middle of the night. Walking is also strange, always rubbing against the wall, landing cautiously, as if afraid of stepping on something.
"This is our last effort. Siqi's parents made it clear.
When Siqi came back this time, I found that her mother was a little different.
She doesn't visit the door much, she is always with her in the ward, and her words are much softer. She also learned to hug Siqi, and Siqi did not resist.
Even the nurse said that she washed much cleaner clothes than before.
Everyone wants to replicate the miracle of the last time.
There are often patients who peel apples and give them to Siqi, imitating Liang Guichun's practice, "I am also your aunt, if you call me, I will give it to you." ”
Ke Siqi was at a loss for all this and did not react at all.
When I was fine, I went to chat with Siqi and asked her if she still remembered Aunt Chun?
She didn't exclude me from sitting on her bed, but she didn't give me any positive response either.
Siqi is regressing.
More than a month later, Siqi's grandfather fell ill and her mother had to return home to take care of the family's business. Siqi began to be hospitalized alone.
After a while, Siqi's father came without calling in advance.
He had a black cloth pinned to his left arm, and Siqi's grandfather had passed away a few days earlier. He quickly went through the discharge procedures and picked up Siqi.
Before, I heard Siqi's mother say that there is an institution near their home, which is a combination of a nursing home and a psychiatric hospital. It only costs a small amount of money to be hospitalized, and medical insurance can also reimburse it.
I don't know where Siqi will spend the rest of her life, but I never saw her again.
Soon after Siqi was discharged from the hospital, Liang Guichun also returned. She has an average of one or two episodes a year.
I couldn't help but ask her, "Do you remember Siqi?"
She remembered, "That little girl who doesn't speak!"
"Siqi came back again. I said.
"Really?" Liang Guichun agreed, and then greeted me energetically.
"Dr. Chen, you can help me move this table. It's so dirty down there, I need to clean it up. ”
Looking at Liang Guichun, I didn't say anything more.
The fact that a mentally ill person was cured by another patient's "pathology" was a miracle witnessed by Baizao Chen.
But after the miracle effect has passed, no one can replicate it.
Chen Baizao said that there is a principle for the psychiatric department to arrange beds, and it will try to combine "movement and static" as much as possible. Because the common symptoms are in one room, the situation is easily exacerbated.
Therefore, arranging Liang Guichun and Siqi in the same room, although there is an accident, it is also in line with the principle. Just like their encounter and miracle happening, it was unexpected and inevitable.
It is not mania that can cure Siqi, it is Aunt Chun who has "mania".
Because of mania, Liang Guichun will continue to release enthusiasm and even turn a blind eye to difficulties, but this also makes her more presumptuous to be herself.
Siqi is a flower in Aunt Chun's spiritual world.
The rose that didn't get planted.
(Some of the characters in the article are pseudonyms)
Editor: Luo XV
Illustration: Cui Da Niuer