Narrator: Uncle Zhou
My surname is Zhou and I am 73 years old this year. I have two sons, I am ashamed to say that although I earned some hard-earned money when I was young, I didn't know how to live frugally, and I earned money except for calling the family, and the rest was kept for myself to eat and drink, and when the two sons got married, I didn't save any money in my hands.
The wife couldn't sleep every day because of her son's marriage, complaining that I was too selfish, only thinking about eating and drinking by myself, and didn't know how to save money. We can't afford to build a house in our hometown, we can't afford to buy a house in the city, we don't have a house, whose girl wants to marry into our family?
Fortunately, the two sons competed for themselves, worked hard slowly, built a house in their hometown and became a family, and bought a house and a car in the city more than ten years ago.
Although the two sons have suffered a lot over the years and have not had an easy time, my son and daughter-in-law have not complained about us, on the contrary, they live in harmony and are very filial to me and my wife.
My wife and I have never helped our sons, nor have the face to drag them down, after the sons got married, I continued to work in other places, my wife farmed at home, and saved up the money to keep for the future pension.
When I got older, my body was not as strong as before, I couldn't do physical work, and it was difficult to find a job. I can also understand that when people get older, there are many underlying diseases, if they stay up late and work three shifts, in case the body is exhausted, who is responsible?
My son also advised me not to fight so hard, my body comes first, so over the years, I have lived a retirement life in my hometown. The two sons came back from time to time to transfer some money for living expenses, and every once in a while they called to ask if the family was lacking, and they bought it and sent it back. My wife and I were not feeling well, so we called them, and whoever had time drove us to the hospital.
The wife doesn't want to cause trouble to her son, and generally only reports good news and not bad news. But my wife and I always stayed in the village, and after a long time, I got bored.
Once, the two sons discussed letting us go out on a trip to see the world. My wife and I are in our hometown all the year round, and we don't have many opportunities to go out, so it's good to go out for a walk occasionally.
I heard that I can go out to travel, my wife and I have that beauty in our hearts, we have never traveled, and now we can go out to see the world when we are old, and I am really happy. We packed our bags and set off with the tour. That year, we went to several places, saw a lot of scenery, and ate a lot of delicious food.
After I came back, my wife and I couldn't help but show off to the people in the village, saying how filial our sons were, not only giving us living expenses every month, but also paying us to travel, which made them envious, especially Brother Liu next door.
Brother Liu and I are also two sons, but after the two sons got married, they always complained about his partiality, and the two sons ignored each other.
Occasionally, the family gets together, either angry or quarrelsome. Brother Liu is sick and has to spend money, and the two sons are also shirking each other, and they are unwilling to contribute money or take care of them.
Sister-in-law Liu cried when she mentioned this, saying that they needed someone to take care of them when they were old, but what could they do? They didn't expect their two sons to pay for them to take them on trips, and they would be content if they could go home often.
My wife and I sympathized with their plight, and we were secretly glad that our son was sensible and filial.
My wife and I go to our two sons' homes every year for ten days and half a month, and I think that my wife and I are both over 70 years old, and we are quite lonely in our hometown, so it is better to go directly to our two sons' homes to care for the elderly and enjoy the happiness of our children and grandchildren.
The two sons both live in the provincial capital, although one is in Nanguan and the other is in Beiguan, but it takes about 40 minutes to drive, which is not far. If we are bored with the eldest son's house, we should go to the younger son's house and live with the two sons instead.
My wife advised me not to have this idea, my son and daughter-in-law have their own things to be busy, and we will inevitably cause trouble to them when we live in the past, and the living habits of young people and old people are also different, and if you live for a long time, your son will not be annoyed, and your daughter-in-law will also have opinions.
I think my wife thinks too much, raising children to prevent old age, we have two sons, who will live in their house?
My wife couldn't tell me, sighed, and ignored me.
Last year, my wife had a terrible stomach pain, and the eldest son drove his wife to the city for a check-up. The wife stayed in the hospital for two days, and after being discharged from the hospital, the eldest daughter-in-law left her at home to rest for a while, saying that she would enjoy a few days of happiness.
I thought to myself that my wife would enjoy happiness in the city, and in a few days, my son and daughter-in-law would also take me to live in the city, but I waited for many months, and my wife stayed at the eldest daughter-in-law's house for a few days, and was picked up by the younger daughter-in-law's family. My wife didn't worry about me and wanted to go back to my hometown, but both daughters-in-law were reluctant to let her go.
With my grandchildren by my side, my daughter-in-law would take my wife out for a walk on the weekend, and soon, my wife was living happily in the city, but I didn't even receive a phone call here, let alone someone to pick me up.
At the end of the month, the two sons transferred me 1,500 yuan for living expenses, asking me to buy whatever I wanted to eat, and ask them if the money was not enough. But they didn't mention the fact that they had received my residence in the city, and I didn't have a good face, so I couldn't ask directly.
My wife is not at home, there is no one to cook, and I have to cook three meals a day. I don't know how to cook, so I either ride to town to eat or order noodles. I persuaded my wife to go back to my hometown, but my wife didn't really want to come back.
My son and daughter-in-law are filial people, although there is no shortage of food and clothing for me and my wife, but I feel very aggrieved, why can my wife live in the city, I want to live alone in my hometown?
I called my wife and asked her to tell her about the arrival in the city in front of her son and daughter-in-law, but my wife looked embarrassed and spoke at a different pace.
I asked him if she didn't want me to go either.
My wife said that it was not that she didn't want me to go, but that I had too many bad habits, and if I went, my daughter-in-law would be upset, and she would be caught in the middle.
Hearing my wife say this, I began to think back to my experiences over the years.
When my wife and I got married, I thought about the male protagonist and the female protagonist, so I was the one who earned money to support the family, and the family was handled by my wife, and my wife had not gone to work in the years since marriage. The two of us have always gotten along like this, and then when I got older, I went home to care for the elderly, and I also developed the habit of not caring about housework, and my wife also complained that I didn't go to work anymore, and I didn't know how to help her when I was idle at home.
I felt that these jobs didn't belong to me in the first place, and my wife gave up after nagging for a while, and didn't count on me anymore.
When I went to live at my two sons' house, I didn't do anything, I got up every morning and went downstairs for a walk, and when I came home, my wife cooked the meal, and in the evening it was more sumptuous, my son went to the kitchen to help, and my daughter-in-law washed the dishes.
My wife said that my son and daughter-in-law have eyes, and when I saw her busy, I knew that I felt sorry for her and helped her share it.
My wife advised me to be diligent and not to be idle all the time, so as not to annoy my daughter-in-law. I don't think my wife's idea is right, I see that she is busy with this and that every day, and it is hard to take a break and figure out what new dishes to learn. We have come to live in our children's homes to be blessed, not to be nannies. Besides, I'm so old, what else can I do?
The eldest daughter-in-law has high emotional intelligence, and when my wife and I lived in her house, she said in front of me from time to time: Dad, you see that your two sons can cook, I have been married for so many years, it seems that I have never eaten your cooking, do you want to cook a few meals for us to taste?
I know that my wife must be nagging for me to be lazy in front of her, and deliberately said: My cooking is not as delicious as your mother's cooking, and I still don't offer ugliness.
Seeing this, my wife said angrily: Your father has been selfish all his life, and he won't help the oil bottle at home when it is poured, let him go into the kitchen to cook, or don't count on it.
I don't refute it, you should eat and drink. My eldest daughter-in-law doesn't go to work on weekends, so she either cooks by herself or takes my wife and me out to eat.
When I ordered, my daughter-in-law brought me the menu, and my wife whispered to persuade me to return the menu and let them order it younger. It's good that my son and daughter-in-law can take us out to eat, but I have a mouth in my mouth, and it's expensive at a point, which is not good.
I think why should I put so much pressure on myself when I come out to eat. I just order two of my favorite dishes, and they order whatever they like to eat.
My wife glared at me angrily and didn't talk to me for days. However, I can feel that the eldest daughter-in-law prefers her wife, and she will ask her what she likes to eat when she eats, and she is willing to spend money to buy her clothes and cosmetics that are suitable for her when she sees them. I buy more things during the New Year's holidays, and I will give my wife a red envelope, although I also have gifts on Father's Day, but I can see that the gifts that my daughter-in-law bought for my wife are carefully chosen.
The little daughter-in-law is straightforward, likes online shopping, there are express delivery at home for three days and two ends, I can't get used to her spending money indiscriminately, I can't help but nag a few words, let her not see things cheap to buy, buy a lot of them are shelved, this is not a waste of money.
The little daughter-in-law said confidently: I spend my own money, and my husband has no opinion.
When my wife saw that my daughter-in-law was angry, let me say a few words, young people think differently from us old people, and we can't complain if we can't get used to it.
The little daughter-in-law will show her wife when she buys something she likes, and her wife praises her for her vision and will buy things, I think my wife is too hypocritical, so angry that she turned off the TV in the living room and went downstairs to relax.
The little daughter-in-law doesn't like to cook, she often takes us out to eat, just forget it, when she educates the child, I think the method is wrong, persuade her to correct, she goes in the left ear and out the right ear, and doesn't pay attention to me at all.
Once she taught the child, I couldn't get used to it, I counted her a few words, she was so angry that she shouted at me: This is my son, how I want to take care of my business, I understand that you feel sorry for the child, but when I educate the child, I hope you don't interfere.
Daughter-in-law doesn't think I'm lenient, I'm angry, and I went to my daughter-in-law's house less often.
In addition, I am old, and I can't change some habits. For example, I have to drink two glasses of three meals a day, I like to drink a mouthful of wine, I am used to eating big fish and meat, my son and daughter-in-law persuade me to drink less alcohol and eat more light, but I think people should eat something good when they are old.
No wonder my wife said that I was an "old stubborn", lazy and nosy, and that when we both got old, my daughter-in-law would rather take care of her than take care of me.
I am very envious of seeing my wife get the love of my children. I'm also learning to cook at home now, and although it doesn't taste good, I'm always improving. When my wife and children came back during the Qingming Festival, I set up a table of dishes, and my wife and children were very surprised.
I have changed, my wife is in a better mood, and my son and daughter-in-law are willing to bring the children back for dinner on weekends. I want to tell you that when people are old, they can't rely on the old to sell the old. Children are not close to the elderly, not all of them are children's problems, and we, as elders, must also learn to reflect.