1
My nephew got married on May Day, and my mother called me and asked me, have you thought about it?
As soon as I heard this, I was a little angry, so I encouraged her: "You don't have to worry about these things, you can do it? You just need to take care of your body." ”
From last winter to this spring, my mom asked me several times about my nephew's marriage.
She said that if my brother invited me to my nephew's wedding, she asked me if I would go. I replied to her every time with this sentence: Let's talk about it then.
To be honest, I was disgusted that my mom kept mentioning it.
We have to start from the beginning.
My brother and I are only one year apart, and we got married in the same year. A month after I got married, he got married too. When I got married, my sister-in-law said to my mother, "Your daughter asked her in-laws what conditions she wanted, and I also asked your family what conditions she wanted."
Sure enough, the furniture of our two families was almost the same, and the bride price was the same, and even the wedding dress worn by my brother and daughter-in-law was the same style and color as mine.
I thought it wouldn't be a big deal for my brother-in-law to do this, and I didn't care. After a year, I realized how terrible it was for her to have the same mentality as me.
I got pregnant first, and my sister-in-law told others that I was pregnant with a mouse, and I didn't understand why she said that, and we never quarreled. Later, she also became pregnant and had a child, and my nephew was born seven months later than my son.
When my son was two years old, my husband went on a business trip, and I took him back to my parents' house. The child was playful, so he ran to my brother's house to find my nephew to play, and after a while he heard his son crying.
My mom and I were cooking in the kitchen when we heard our son's cry and she rushed over. I saw my son standing outside the door, his face full of tears, and when he saw my mother, he threw himself into her arms.
It turned out that while the two children were playing, the son accidentally touched his nephew. The nephew was thin and fell down. When my brother saw this, he was very angry, so he picked up my son and threw him out of the door, and he was scared and cried.
My mother was concerned about whether her grandson had fallen pain, and my brother said angrily, "I fell to death and pulled down!"
This sentence is very uncomfortable to hear, and my son didn't mean it, he is still so young and ignorant, my brother is my uncle, as for doing this?
Usually when I go back to my parents' house, my brother and sister-in-law also treat me coldly. After asking for a debt, our two families broke off for the first time.
2
My family is short of money to build a house, and my husband remembers that my brother borrowed money from my family. It's been a few years, and he went to ask for it, and although the money was given, my brother-in-law came to my house to scold the street.
She stood in front of my house with her hands on her back, and said loudly that we were not, and the onlookers said that she was amazing.
I have always been a good talker and don't quarrel, and when I saw my brother-in-law's position, my reaction was to run to my parents' house and cry.
After the house was built, when I moved to a new house, according to the local custom, my family had to buy pots and pans and electrical appliances to my house. In the future, if my brother's family buys a new house, I will also buy things and go back to the past, and spend a lot more money than them.
Seeing that it was going to cost money, the younger brother and sister-in-law were unwilling, and they took money very seriously. He was also very harsh on my parents, and he couldn't give them 500 yuan in pension money all year round. This time, they wanted to spend money for my family, and they said they wouldn't spend any of them.
In the end, they also pushed the reason for refusal to my house, saying that I disregarded my sister and brother's affection, and that debt collection was like urging life. It is my family who is unkind first, and then they are unjust.
If you don't come, it is equivalent to the two families breaking off, and you don't pay New Year's greetings during the New Year, and you don't usually move around. I often take my two children back to my parents' house, and when they see them, they don't pay attention to us.
My mother felt that her sister and brother had become passers-by, and she felt very uncomfortable. She thinks that she can't go on like this for the rest of her life, and wants to bring the two families together and get us back together.
My mother also knows that my brother-in-law is a person, and she will not take her seriously. What she said was not as good as a gust of wind, and she might be scolded by her brother and daughter-in-law.
During the Spring Festival three years after the break, my mother took advantage of the festive day of the New Year to persuade peace. She did my ideological work, told me to lower my body, apologize to my brother and daughter-in-law, and then formally invited her to my house for dinner.
Where I was willing to do this, I resolutely refused my mother. When she saw me like this, she counted me down one by one, and she said that I was the eldest sister, and she would definitely go back to her parents' house in the future. My brother and daughter-in-law can not go to my house, and with my parents alive, I can't go back to my parents' house.
In the end, my mother also "threatened" me: If you don't do this, I won't come to your door in the future.
I was too young and weak at the time, so I agreed and did what my mother said, and the scene at that time was unforgettable for my life.
I went to the door to compensate my brother and daughter-in-law, but she ignored me and snorted from her nose, indicating that she agreed to go to my house for dinner, and also said that our two families had turned their rivalry into friendship.
But how long can such a reluctant exchange last?
3
A few years later, when my son celebrated his tenth birthday, my brother's family gave me a bicycle and bought two sets of clothes as a birthday gift for my son, totaling more than 300 yuan.
The next year, on my nephew's birthday, I gave a gift of 600, which means 66 Shun, as a birthday gift for my nephew.
In the eyes of others, I am also quite generous in doing this. I also feel that I am doing a reasonable and reasonable way in my dealings with them, and I have not done anything wrong. But in the end, he still couldn't escape the fate of breaking off his family for the second time.
After the two of us walked around, my brother and sister-in-law were also lukewarm, and they were not enthusiastic when they met each other. When they meet on the other side, they avoid it if they can. I don't usually come and go, so I just worship myself during the New Year.
My brother and sister-in-law were also very cold to my two children and never said a word to them.
When my family moved into a new house for the second time, my brother's family had to congratulate me with courtesy, but this time they still refused to pull out a dime.
On the eve of my family's move, my mother was not feeling well, and my brother took her to the hospital for a check-up. On the way back, my brother and my mother talked about my family's gifts. He calculated that it would cost a total of 3,500 yuan.
The younger brother said that he was willing to spend the money. In two years, his family will also move to a new house, and my family will definitely return to his family.
I didn't know that after he went home, he changed his hexagram, and his brother-in-law didn't agree. In her heart, she is not happy to spend so much money for my family, and in the final analysis, she is reluctant to spend it.
Then my brother-in-law repeated the old trick, in front of my mother, she looked angry and said that I was not all kinds of things.
My brother listened to her everything, and my mother was also anxious when she saw this. She tried to persuade them, but the two of them turned a deaf ear to what she said and scolded my mother for being nosy.
This is the reason why our two families broke off for the second time, and since then the two have become strangers again.
So far, our two families have not crossed paths for 15 years. The younger brother and daughter-in-law are only willing to spend money for various things in their mother's family.
4
My nephew got married on May Day this year, and while my mother was happy, she also had a wish, she hoped that our two families would take this opportunity to reconcile.
I understand my mother's feelings, old people, who doesn't want their children to be in harmony?
She asked me last year if I was going to my nephew's wedding, and I said that we were already like this, so was it necessary for me to attend?
If they dislike me coming, will my brother and sister-in-law welcome me? If they dislike me coming, won't I slap myself in the face?
When my mother saw me say this, she asked me, "What if they tell you to go, will you go?"
Two days ago, my brother called to invite me to my nephew's wedding, and I felt very sudden. Later, I found out the truth about his invitation to participate.
It turned out that my mom told them to do this, and they were quite angry and yelled at my mom, and this time my mom also let it go. She said that if they wouldn't let me go to the wedding, she wouldn't either.
My brother and sister-in-law were worried that my mother would make trouble at the wedding, so they had no choice but to invite me to attend. Since I was invited, then I'll go, after all, it's my mother's only nephew to get married.
My mother asked me to wrap a red envelope of 10,000 yuan for my nephew, and I thought of my family affection and agreed.
Yesterday my mother's words, I can't go back. My mom told me that they didn't want me to go to the wedding, but they invited my two cousins to the wedding.
I was very angry and didn't let my sister go to the wedding, but I invited my cousin, and in their eyes, I was not as good as two cousins. In that case, why should I go?
Besides, they were not willing to invite me in the first place, because they were afraid that my mother would make a fuss, and second, they were forced to invite me because of rumors from outsiders. Because in the eyes of outsiders, when a nephew gets married, there is no reason not to let his aunt participate.
5
The twisted melon is not sweet, and they are forced to make such a choice, I really don't need to go. People don't welcome you, you insist on squeezing in, and you feel humiliated.
In the hesitation of going or not going, I also remembered an incident in the past, when my mother gave my family the vegetables she grew herself.
When my brother-in-law saw it, her face grew long, and she said to my mother: All the vegetables you planted are for your daughter's family, and her family is going to be killed by so many vegetables.
Just thinking about this sentence makes me very angry. In fact, the vegetables grown by my mother, their family is close to the water, and they eat the most, and they also pick the ones that have just been put on the market. But I never said anything, and told my mother not to stop them from eating.
When my mom had a conflict with them, I advised my mom not to quarrel with them. Either way, they were her sons and daughters-in-law.
Now that I think about it, there's nothing to associate with this kind of person. Maybe this time I walked around, and one day I broke up again.
My mother and I are also worried that if the two families come and go, and my family has two children, and the children will get married and have children in the future, their families will have to follow the courtesy, according to their personalities, they will definitely feel that they have lost a lot. Because they only have one child, they will have to be separated 100% when the time comes.
Thinking of this, I stopped listening to my mother and replied to my mother that I would not attend my nephew's wedding.
In the intermittent correspondence between our two families, I have suffered a lot of grievances, and the more grievances I suffer, the more I am being manipulated, and I will not accept it this time!
So, today is May Day, and our family is happily playing outside. That's good.