Text/An Dongyue
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In love, should it be active or passive?
Some people say that initiative is a sign of courage in the pursuit of happiness, but others believe that being overly proactive can put oneself in a situation where they are hurt.
Indeed, in love, the more active the partner, the more vulnerable they tend to be.
When you fall in love, your heart is full of longing and passion. You take the initiative to pursue that person, to express your love, and to be with him.
You've put in the time, effort, and sincerity to get the same response from the other person. However, love is not always fair, and sometimes, your initiative cannot be exchanged for the other person's cherishment and response.
The active side tends to invest more emotion.
You take the heart to understand the other person's preferences and needs, and try to make him happy.
You will give a lot for him, even at the cost of changing your habits and principles.
However, when you don't get what you deserve, you feel disappointed, sad, and miserable.
This hurt isn't just emotional, it can also affect your self-confidence and sense of self-worth.
In addition, the active party is also more likely to expose their vulnerability in love.
You open your heart and let the other person into your inner world to share your joys, sorrows, and sorrows.
At this time, if the other party does not know how to cherish, your heart will be deeply hurt.
This hurt may make you sensitive, suspicious, and lose faith in your future love.
So why is it that the more active the side is, the more likely it is to get hurt?
On the one hand, the active party often has too high expectations of love.
You want to get the same response for your efforts, and you want the other person to love you as much as you love him.
But reality often doesn't go your way, and you feel hurt when expectations fall short of reality.
On the other hand, the overly proactive party can easily lose themselves in love.
When you pursue the other person too actively, you may ignore your own needs and feelings and focus on the other person.
As soon as the other person leaves, you will feel at a loss and in pain.
The more active you are, the easier it is to get hurt, does this mean that you can't take the initiative to pursue love?
Of course not.
Love is beautiful, but in the process of pursuing love, you must learn to protect yourself.
First of all, be rational and sober. Don't get carried away by love and give blindly. Learn to see the other person for who he really is, and understand whether he is worth your effort.
Second, learn to love yourself. Only by loving oneself can we love others better. Don't give up your principles and bottom line in order to pander to the other person. Pay attention to your own needs and feelings, and maintain your independence.
Finally, learn to let go. If a relationship is no longer suitable, be brave enough to let go and don't let yourself get into endless pain.
In love, active and passive are just one of the manifestations. Whether you are active or passive, you should cherish your feelings and protect your heart.
In love, learn to balance, both to be brave in the pursuit of happiness and to learn to protect yourself from harm.
I hope everyone can face love with a sincere heart, and believe that you will always find the person with whom you cherish and understand each other.