My name is Zhang Wei, I am 56 years old and I am a retired worker. My wife, Li Fang, is a few years younger than me, and our son, Zhang Xiaoming, is 28 years old and an ordinary company employee. My wife and I are both authentic northerners, hardworking and simple, and we don't have high requirements for our son, and we only hope that he can marry a virtuous and capable daughter-in-law in the future and live a happy life.
Before the Spring Festival last year, his wife's condition began to worsen. Doctors said she had advanced lung cancer and that there was no cure. My wife knew that her time was short, so she called me and my son and said to him, "Xiao Ming, after your mother leaves, you will have only one relative, your father." Be filial to him, and be kind to your wife and children. She said to me again, "Weizi, our Xiao Ming is already so old, you have to marry him a virtuous and capable daughter-in-law, so that he can live a happy life in the future." "
I wept and nodded in agreement. His son Xiao Ming also cried and said, "Mom, don't worry, I will definitely listen to you." The wife smiled and said, "I will leave you forever." Take care of one another, and go on together in the days to come......"
Shortly after the Chinese New Year, my wife left us and left this world.
After my wife died, my son and I were heartbroken. In accordance with her instructions before her death, we held a grand and simple funeral for her. Looking at the portrait of my wife, my tears flowed again. How I wish she could live and stay with us for a few more years. But fate is so merciless, she left us forever.
After the funeral, I returned home alone, sat on the wicker chair where my wife used to sit before her death, and watched the needlework she left behind, and my tears flowed again. I made up my mind that I must fulfill my wife's last request and marry a good daughter-in-law for my son. This is a promise I make to her and a blessing to my son for a happy life in the future.
His son, Zhang Xiaoming, is an ordinary office worker who works as a technician in a manufacturing company, with a stable job but an average income. He has a very frugal style of life, and in addition to paying rent, food and other necessary expenses every month, he basically saves other money. His dream is very simple, that is, to marry a virtuous and capable wife in the future and live a happy and happy life.
Sometimes I would advise him, "Xiao Ming, it's time for you to think about finding a partner." Look at your colleagues, some of them are already married and have children. The son always smiled embarrassedly and vaguely prevaricated. I know he has this idea in his heart, but as a son, he is still a little embarrassed to let his father worry about this.
Once, a fellow introduced a girl from a good family, and I went out of my way to see the situation in the other party's house. Although the family is good, there are some problems with the girl's style. I had no choice but to give up and keep looking.
In order to find a good daughter-in-law for my son, I asked around almost day and night, regardless of weekdays and holidays. Sometimes it's the villagers who introduce it, sometimes it's the neighbors who ask for it, and sometimes it's the initiative to inquire. As soon as there is a clue, I will immediately follow up and do everything possible to understand the other party's family situation.
There is a family with a good family background, and the daughter is dignified and generous, but unfortunately the old people in the family have a bad habit of gambling. There is another family, the daughter has outstanding character, but the family's economic situation is too poor. I reluctantly continued to search, for fear of missing out on the right person.
A few times, my son Xiao Ming saw that I was working on this matter, and he also offered to help introduce people. But every time I fancy the candidate, Xiao Ming is always not satisfied. Once, he said directly to me, "Dad, you don't have to work so hard, I'll find it myself." I waved my hand and said, "This is your mother's request before she died, and I must do my best." "
Xiao Ming's heart was moved. As a son, he was certainly moved to see his father working so hard for his life's work. But at the same time, he was a little embarrassed. As a young man in modern times, he hopes that his marriage can be decided by himself. He felt that his father's approach was a bit out of step with the times.
However, Xiao Ming also understands his father's good intentions. The father did this out of a promise to his mother's precepts, and also out of a blessing for his son's happy life in the future. Xiao Ming secretly made up his mind that no matter what the future holds, he would let his father's hard work have a good result.
One night, when I was watching TV alone at home, my son Xiao Ming suddenly said to me, "Dad, can I talk to you?"
"Of course, what's the matter?" I turned off the TV and pulled over a chair and sat down.
"It's about you looking for a partner for me...... Xiao Ming said with some hesitation, "I know that you are for my own good, but after all, this is my own life's work, and I think it is more appropriate for me to make my own decisions." "
You should respect your mother's wishes. "
"Of course, I respect my mother's wishes, and I understand your good intentions. Xiao Ming said, "But Dad, I've grown up, and I should make my own decisions." You don't have to work too hard, I will marry a virtuous wife in the future according to my mother's wishes. But I want to choose the specific object. "
I was silent for a moment, looked at Xiao Ming's sincere eyes, and finally nodded. It is true that the son has grown up and his choice should be respected.
In order to fulfill my wife's request, I asked around almost day and night, regardless of weekdays and holidays. A whole year has passed, and I finally found a girl with excellent character and capable housekeeping under the introduction of a fellow countryman, named Wang Xiaoyan.
I went out of my way to learn about Wang Xiaoyan's family, including their family background, economic situation, life style, etc., all of which made me very satisfied. I secretly decided that I must marry this girl into the door and be my daughter-in-law.
After finding a suitable match, I immediately told my son Xiao Ming. Unexpectedly, Xiao Ming did not object this time, but said that since I have been working hard for so long, he has no suitable partner for the time being, so let's meet the other party's parents first.
So, after some arrangement, I met with Wang Xiaoyan's parents. As soon as I saw the Queen Mother, I felt a sense of intimacy. They are an ordinary worker couple, with simple words and dignified manners, which makes people feel like a spring breeze.
"Hello Uncle Zhang, our swallow is a diligent child, but his temper is a little stubborn. I hope that in the future, there will be a good son-in-law like Mr. Zhang, who can guide her and love her. The Queen Mother said sincerely.
"Don't worry, as long as Yanzi is a good child, my son will treat her well. I also said sincerely, "However, we still have to ask Xiao Ming's opinion on this matter first." He's a stubborn master. "
Everyone smiled. The atmosphere was harmonious and warm, and I was secretly happy that the two were a perfect match.
"Dad, I understand your good intentions, but I think it's inappropriate for you to do so. Xiao Ming said, "I have grown up, and I should make my own decisions about marriage." Although you are for my own good, after all, this involves my life's events, and I need to choose for myself. "
I never imagined that after such a long and careful search, my son would be so opposed. I was a little disappointed and a little angry. I said coldly, "Are you so disrespectful of your mother's entrustment when she died? I did this completely for your happy life in the future!"
"Of course, I respect my mother's entrustment, and I thank you for your kindness. Xiao Ming said, "But I think the specific object, I should choose it by myself." You've been working hard for so long, it's time to rest. "
In this way, my son and I had a disagreement over this matter. I insisted on marrying a daughter-in-law of good character for my son in accordance with my wife's instructions before her death, so that he could live a happy and happy life in the future. The son insisted that he had grown up and that he should be in charge of his own marriage.
Once, Xiao Ming said directly to me: "Dad, I really appreciate you for working so hard for me." But after all, marriage is my own business, and I want to choose the specific object myself. "
I said angrily, "You have disrespected your mother's entrustment like this, and her greatest wish is to see you marry a good daughter-in-law and live a happy life in the future!"
"Of course I respect my mother's request. Xiao Ming said, "But I think the specific way of implementation, I should be in charge of my own hands, rather than completely following your arrangement." I've grown up and it's time to make my own decisions. "
And just like that, a disagreement arose between us. As a father, I insisted on marrying a good daughter-in-law for my son; As a son, Xiao Ming hopes that he can make his own choice. On both sides, you and I said a word, and the scene was a little tense for a while.
In fact, the reason why I am so obsessed with finding a partner for my son is not only to fulfill my wife's wishes, but more importantly, out of a blessing for my son's happy life in the future.
As a father, I have watched my son grow up, and my greatest wish is that he can live a happy and fulfilling life in the future. But a single life is always lonely, and only by marrying a virtuous and capable wife can you achieve true happiness.
I know that it is not easy to find a good daughter-in-law. It is because of this consideration that I have worked so hard to ask around and search for a wife of good character so that my son can marry a wife of good character in the future. I have only one thought in my heart: as long as my son is happy in the future, my hard work will be worth it.
The reason why my son Xiao Ming is so opposed is that in addition to disagreeing with my approach, more importantly, he has grown up and begun to pursue self-independence.
Xiao Ming is a very independent child. He has been very self-reliant since he was a child, and even more so when he grows up. He wants his life to be in his own hands, rather than completely following the arrangements of others, even if that person is his father.
For marriage, which is a lifelong event, Xiao Ming is even more so. He felt that he had grown up and that he should be in charge of his own affairs, rather than being arranged by his father. In fact, he also longs for married life in his heart, but he just hopes that he can choose the right partner by himself.
Xiao Ming's idea also reflects the pursuit of modern people's own life. People no longer passively accept the arrangements of others, but hope to control their own destiny.
The differences between me and Xiao Ming also reflect a generation gap between traditional and modern concepts.
As a father, I represent the traditional, fatherly notion of love. I am obsessed with marrying a good daughter-in-law for my son, not only out of a commitment to my wife's life, but more importantly, out of a blessing for my son's happy life in the future. In my mind, it is right for parents to do lifelong things for their children.
Xiao Ming, on the other hand, represents the independent consciousness of modern people. He hopes that his marriage can be decided by himself, which is a kind of pursuit and grasp of his own life. In his opinion, although parents have good intentions, they should still choose and decide on specific matters.
It is precisely because of the difference in concepts that there is such a disagreement between me and Xiao Ming. This kind of divergence is also a kind of generation gap between generations.