My name is Xiao Yun, I am 28 years old this year, and I married my long-time boyfriend Xiao Gang three months ago. Xiao Gang is 30 years old this year, an ordinary office worker, with a monthly income of more than 7,000 yuan, and is responsible for the family's financial resources. Our wedding was very grand and cost us a lot of money, but the two families also emptied their pockets and gave us a dowry of 200,000 yuan.
Xiaogang's mother's name is Aunt Zhang, 55 years old this year, and she is an old man with a strong traditional concept. She lives alone, and her living expenses after retirement depend on Xiaogang's monthly alimony. Xiao Gang also has an older brother and a younger brother, Xiao Ming, 32 years old, is a middle-level manager of a company who also has some savings on hand and recently plans to buy a house in the city and settle down.
Xiaogang and I were newly married for three months, and it was the time for honey to mix oil. However, Aunt Zhang's living situation makes us miss it a lot. Her pension is only more than 2,000 yuan, plus Xiaogang gives her 2,000 yuan a month in alimony, and her income is only four or five thousand yuan, and living in the city is really stretched.
Xiao Ming's career has improved, and he plans to buy a new two-bedroom house in the city at a price of about 800,000 yuan. However, he only has a deposit of 300,000 yuan, and he is still short of a down payment of 500,000 yuan. Xiao Ming has always been responsive to Aunt Zhang's needs, and Aunt Zhang naturally tried her best to help him.
One day, Aunt Zhang suddenly came to the door and made an outrageous request to us: "You have been married for three months, and you should take out a dowry of 200,000 yuan to buy a house for Xiao Ming." Xiao Ming is my youngest son, you should take care of him. "
I was half angry at the time, and blurted out: "Xiao Ming is not my son, why do you want to give him 200,000?"
"Why can't you give Xiao Ming a dowry of 200,000?" Aunt Zhang frowned and said, "Aren't you just three months old? The dowry hasn't been spent, right? Give Xiao Ming 200,000 yuan, and he will be able to pay a down payment to buy a house." "
"But Auntie, that's our wedding money, how can we take it out casually?" I tried to explain.
"What's the way it should be?" Aunt Zhang was angry, "You are my son's daughter-in-law, so you should care about my son." Xiao Ming is my youngest son, you should take more care of him!"
Aunt Zhang's words made me feel incomprehensible. My heart was full of anger and injustice: I am a married daughter, why should I support her son like a son? And 200,000 yuan is all our newly married belongings!
"Auntie, you're asking too much, aren't you?" I couldn't help but retort, "200,000 yuan is all the savings of our newlywed, how can we just take it out and give it to Xiao Ming?
"You're not sensible!" Aunt Zhang reprimanded, "You are my daughter-in-law, so you should treat Xiao Ming like your own son!
"Enough!" Aunt Zhang interrupted Xiao Gang's words, "You guys are so selfish!
After speaking, Aunt Zhang left angrily.
Although Aunt Zhang's request made me feel unreasonable, from her point of view, it was also out of good intentions.
As an older generation, Aunt Zhang naturally retains the traditional family concept. In her upbringing, the property between the husband and wife was jointly owned, and the wife's dowry naturally belonged to the husband's family. What's more, Xiao Ming is her youngest son, and he is naturally her favorite child, so he deserves more care and care.
But the attitudes of our generation have changed a lot. I believe that the property after marriage should be jointly managed by the husband and wife, and the dowry should not be regarded as an asset belonging to the in-laws. What's more, although Xiao Ming is Xiao Gang's younger brother, he has no immediate family relationship with my daughter-in-law, and I am not obliged to sponsor him free of charge.
I was in a huge contradiction in my heart. On the one hand, I think my mother-in-law's request is too much and completely unreasonable; On the other hand, I don't want to break with my family, after all, Xiao Ming is also our relative. Should I stick to my principles, or should I accommodate my mother-in-law's wishes? I was in a deep struggle.
Xiao Gang saw my entanglement and tried to act as an intermediary to resolve the conflict between me and my mother-in-law.
"I understand your thoughts," he said, "and Mommy's request is indeed excessive. But you also have to be considerate of your mother's hard work, Xiao Ming is her youngest son after all. "
"Then are we going to give him 200,000?" I said a little anxiously, "That's all our newlyweds!"
Xiao Gang's suggestion gave me a temporary sigh of relief. Although 50,000 is a lot of money for us, it is much better than 200,000. Perhaps, this is a good way to be acceptable to both parties.
"Mom, we've come up with a way to get the best of both worlds. Xiao Gang said solemnly, "Let's give Xiao Ming 50,000 yuan as the start-up capital to buy a house, and then fund him more when we have enough savings in the future, what do you think?"
"50,000?" Aunt Zhang seemed a little angry, "You gave a dowry of 200,000 yuan when you got married, and now you only take out 50,000 yuan to support Xiao Ming, isn't it too stingy?"
"Mom, you're asking too much!" I finally couldn't help but retort, "200,000 yuan is all our newly married belongings! Just take it all out, what if we want to buy a house in the future? And Xiao Ming is not my own son, why should I give him all the money?"
"You stinky girl, why don't you know what to do!" Aunt Zhang accused, "You are my son's daughter-in-law, so you should treat Xiao Ming like your own son!
"Hmph, you're so selfish!" Aunt Zhang didn't want to listen to Xiao Gang's explanation at all, "I see that you are determined not to help Xiao Ming! You are my own son and daughter-in-law, but you are less human than strangers!
Aunt Zhang's words were like a heavy hammer, hitting me and Xiaogang's hearts hard. I choked up and couldn't speak, tears rolling in my eyes. Xiao Gang didn't say a word, lowered his head and fell into deep thought.
After a long time, Xiao Gang finally spoke, his tone full of disappointment and helplessness: "Mom, Yunyun, I'm really disappointed." You are all my closest people, and I never expected that you would be so-for-tat, without any mutual understanding. "
"I was so naïve to think that you could understand each other and resolve conflicts. Xiao Gang shook his head and sighed, "Now it seems that none of you are willing to think about each other." "
After speaking, Xiao Gang walked out without looking back, leaving only me and Aunt Zhang looking at each other.
Xiao Gang's departure made my heart feel unprecedented shock. I never thought that a seemingly simple chore would cost me someone closest to me.
"Auntie, I'm here to apologize to you. I said sincerely, "Yesterday I was too opinionated and ignored your kindness to Xiao Ming, and my words and deeds really hurt you." Can we talk about that again?"
Aunt Zhang's face was embarrassed, and it took a while before she spoke: "You finally understand." But you're right, I'm asking for too much. At first, I was just confused, and I hope to use your strength to help Xiao Ming. "
"Okay, okay, I'm not forcing you to come up with 200,000. Aunt Zhang interrupted me, "But as a family member, you should really be more considerate and caring for Xiao Ming." "
Seeing my sincerity, Aunt Zhang seemed to calm down and began to reflect on her words and deeds.
"Actually, I also thought that you are newlyweds, and 200,000 is too much for you. She sighed, "I'm just confused and ignoring your actual situation. After all, you are still young, and you will have to buy a house and have children in the future, so it is too hasty to take out all your belongings. "
"Auntie, we will naturally do our best to care for and support Xiao Ming. I said sincerely, "Don't worry, when we have enough deposits, we will definitely give Xiao Ming more help." "
"Good, good, I know you're good boys. Aunt Zhang nodded, and her tone finally softened, "It's that my original request was too much and added too much pressure to you." You've done your best, and I'll reflect on it. "
In this way, Aunt Zhang and I finally resolved this conflict caused by the generation gap. Aunt Zhang realized the obsolescence of her own concepts, and no longer blindly insisted that we take out 200,000; I also learned to be more tolerant of my elders and try to be considerate of their kindness.
The root cause of this contradiction is actually due to the huge difference in concepts between generations.
Aunt Zhang's generation grew up in the old society, and her understanding of family and family affection naturally stayed on the traditional ethical concept. In her view, the wife's dowry is equivalent to the assets of the husband's family, and the daughter-in-law should care for and support her husband's younger brother as if she were her own son.
But the attitudes of our generation of young people have changed dramatically. We pay more attention to individualism and pay more attention to the concept of private property. The property after marriage should be jointly managed by both husband and wife, and should not belong to anyone's family. As for the husband's younger brother, although he is a relative, he is only a collateral relative after all, and he is not obliged to support them free of charge.
It is precisely because of this generation gap that the estrangement and contradiction between me and Aunt Zhang have been created. Fortunately, through communication and understanding, we were able to bridge this gap and reach a consensus.
Although this conflict once strained my relationship with Aunt Zhang, and even affected my relationship with Xiaogang, we finally resolved this family dispute caused by the generation gap. The key is that we have all learned to understand and be considerate of each other.
Aunt Zhang realized that her request was indeed excessive, and began to respect the lifestyle and property concept of our young people, and no longer blindly insisted that we come up with a dowry of 200,000 yuan.
And I also realized that although Xiao Ming and I are not directly related, he is also our family after all. We should be more tolerant and broad-minded, to understand the kindness of our elders, and to treat their needs with love, rather than blindly caring about the gains and losses.
It is through mutual understanding and tolerance that we have finally reached a consensus and resolved this contradiction caused by the generation gap. This experience made me deeply realize that both family members and any group in society should treat existing differences with mutual understanding, resolve conflicts with a tolerant and tolerant attitude, and strive to achieve harmonious coexistence.
In this way, Aunt Zhang and I re-reached a reconciliation. After Xiao Gang learned the news, he was relieved, and a long-lost smile finally bloomed on his face.
"Great, you've finally resolved this dispute. He said happily, "I was too impatient to guide you to understand each other, which led you to a battle between right and wrong." "
"It's because we're too opinionated. I quickly explained, "Fortunately, I finally understood the importance of mutual understanding." "
Since then, our family's relationship has become more harmonious. Aunt Zhang often comes to my house to taste the home-cooked dishes I make. Sometimes Xiao Ming will come to have a home-cooked meal with us, and the atmosphere is lively and lively, just like a big family.
Although this conflict once plunged our family relationship to a freezing point, it also allowed us all to gain valuable growth. I have learned to treat my elders with a more tolerant and broader mind, and to understand their needs with love, rather than blindly caring about the gains and losses.
This conflict has given us all valuable growth. I have learned to treat my elders with a more tolerant and broader mind, and to understand their needs with love, rather than blindly caring about the gains and losses.
Aunt Zhang also realized the obsolescence of her own concept and began to respect the lifestyle and property concept of our young people. She is no longer resting on her laurels, but is willing to open her mind and accept new things.
Since then, we have all learned to respect and understand each other in family life. Aunt Zhang no longer interferes in my and Xiaogang's housework, and respects our right to dispose of property; We will also be more considerate of Aunt Zhang's needs, spend more time with her and care for her.
This atmosphere of mutual respect makes our family relationship more harmonious and harmonious. I am very glad that we have finally learned to treat our families with a tolerant and tolerant attitude, rather than caring about personal interests.
With the revelation of this experience, we began to value the time spent together as a family. Every weekend, we would meet for a reunion dinner, talk about homely things, and talk about things.
Sometimes Aunt Zhang would come to my house and taste the home-cooked dishes I made myself. She always complimented me on my skills and passed on her cooking experience to me when she was younger. Sometimes Xiao Ming will come to have a home-cooked meal with us, and the atmosphere is lively and lively, just like a big family.
In these warm family moments, we share the bits and pieces of life with each other. Aunt Zhang will tell you interesting stories about her youth, Xiao Ming will talk about his gains and losses at work, and Xiao Gang and I will talk about the sweetness of our newlywed life.
Although each of us has different stages of life, we all have one thing in common: we all crave love and warmth from our families. As long as we treat each other with a tolerant attitude, we will be able to create a warm and harmonious family.
In addition to family reunions, we also learn to help each other in life. For example, Xiao Ming finally bought a new house in the city, and Xiao Gang and I offered to help him move and decorate.
On the day of the move, we came to Xiao Ming's new house early in the morning to help carry the furniture and suitcases. After all, Xiao Ming's strength alone is limited, and with the presence of us "Hercules", the progress of moving is much faster.
When decorating, Aunt Zhang also unequivocally joined us. Despite her age, she still has a lot of energy, helping with paint, laying floor tiles, and working harder than us young people.
"You have to thank me!" Aunt Zhang joked while working, "If it weren't for my old bones, I am afraid that you young people would not be able to finish so much work." "
We will all smile and get back to the work at hand. Although it was hard work, everyone's face was filled with happy smiles. Because we know that as long as relatives are united and help each other, there is no difficulty that cannot be overcome.
In addition to helping each other, we also pass on life skills and experiences to each other as a family. For example, Aunt Zhang will teach me some life hacks, while I will teach her how to use new things such as smartphones and computers.
Once, Aunt Zhang offered to learn how to shop online. I patiently taught her how to use mobile phones and computer websites, how to check product information, and how to place orders and payments.
At first, Aunt Zhang struggled to learn, but through practice again and again, she quickly mastered the way. Now as long as there is something she wants to buy, she will check it online and place an order to buy it by herself, so we don't have to worry about it at all.
And I asked Aunt Zhang for a lot of tips in life, such as how to remove stubborn stains, how to keep ingredients fresh, and so on. These seemingly simple tips have made my life much easier and more convenient.
Our generation of young people has mastered modern technology, while our elders have a wealth of life experience. As long as we can pass on and learn from each other, we will be able to make life better.
Through this series of personal experiences, I deeply realized the importance of family harmony. Only by treating family members with a tolerant and tolerant attitude, and resolving conflicts with an attitude of understanding and respect, can we create a warm and harmonious family. And with such a happy family, each of us will have a more fulfilling life.