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The statement that "women need to live as a couple for a long time, about 20 minutes ......" has caused a lot of controversy, and some people think that time is too short to only experience physical satisfaction, but not real happiness.
In fact, in the life of a couple, happiness is not only determined by time, but more importantly, the heart and soul and emotional communication.
The Beckhams' long-distance marriage run also proves that the key to a happy couple's life lies in mutual growth, support and emotional communication, not simply time.
So how long do women look forward to a happy married life?
Why is that?
1. Length is not the decisive factor.
When someone posted on Weibo that "women's expectations for married life are about 20 minutes", it caused a lot of controversy.
Some people think that 20 minutes is too short to only satisfy physical needs, not psychological satisfaction, so that true happiness cannot be experienced;
Others think that 20 minutes is enough, after all, women have much less need for nightlife than men, and 20 minutes can satisfy physical needs and also feel happy.
In fact, women's satisfaction with their married life is not only related to the length of time, but more importantly, the emotional experience and interactive communication.
Therefore, it is not comprehensive to hope that time can be used to measure the satisfaction of a couple's life.
Time is only part of the equation, and the Beckhams' marital run proves it.
Beckhan's marriage run with Victoria is indeed very enviable, and the relationship between the two is also very good.
And for more than 20 years of marriage, Beck Hanji also gave it to Victoria very bankruptly, which can't help but make people wonder about their married life.
And a netizen also asked curiously: "People who raised their hands, how long do you think Victoria's husband and wife live every night?"
Of course, this is a joke question, but it has been answered by many people, some say that it may be 1 hour, and more people think that 10 minutes is about the same.
But in fact, this question is really difficult to answer, because everyone's experience is different, because women's satisfaction with their married life cannot be measured by simple time.
2. A happy married life should not be limited by a single time criterion.
In a reality show about the Beck Hans family, there was a time when the Beck family took their three children on a beach vacation, and in the resort, each room had a very large bathtub in the bathroom.
Everyone was very curious about whether Beckhan's family would take a bath together, and Beckhan's family jokingly said: "That's a big bathtub, maybe 10 people can take a bath together, right?"
This sentence immediately caused everyone's response, and someone joked: "Then two people and another small bathtub soak child." ”
And when the reporter wanted to get to the bottom of it, he was interrupted by Beckhan: "This is the privacy of me and my daughter-in-law, and I won't tell you." ”
This moment also made many people feel that the relationship between the two is very good.
But some people are questioning: "If the relationship is so good, why don't you have more children?"
In fact, this is also related to the married life of the two.
Because when Beckham and Victoria were dating, the relationship between the two was very good, and they often spent good time together, but when the two entered the marriage hall, their married life became busy.
And Beckhan's career is getting busier and busier, so the communication between the two is becoming less and less, but in terms of husband and wife life, the two are still very tacit and there is no big problem.
But as Beckhan's career became more and more popular, the relationship between the two began to crack, and Victoria began to become very jealous, so that the relationship between the two also fell into a crisis.
But in the end, the two resolved the crisis, and the relationship between the two became very good, because Beck Hanji also loved Victoria very much, so in the lives of the two of them, there were no more relationship problems.
3. Multi-dimensional consideration of satisfaction.
In a report in the magazine, the two doctors analyzed more than 2,000 married women, hoping to find out how long women need to live as a couple, and how long they are psychologically satisfied.
However, the final conclusion of this study is very inconsistent, and one of them argues that "women want to be able to experience a lot of tricks in their married life every time, so it takes about 50 minutes." ”
Another person said: "There is no uniformity in the amount of time that women spend as a couple, because each woman has her own needs, some people only need 10 minutes, others need 1 hour." ”
Therefore, it is unrealistic to use time to measure women's satisfaction with their married life.
Because everyone's experience is different, because women's expectation time for married life cannot be limited by a single time, because everyone has their own needs and ideas.
Therefore, only in the life of the couple, find the frequency and way that suits both parties, can we have a happy married life.
Of course, women's satisfaction with marital life can be measured by multiple dimensions, and satisfaction is also multi-dimensional.
First of all, time spent is an important dimension, because it has been argued that "women's satisfaction increases over time." ”
This is like the full moon and the half-moon that you can see with the naked eye, although they are both round, but the roundness of the full moon is much rounder than the half-moon, so women are the same for the time spent as husband and wife.
Another person said: "The time of married life cannot be measured by time, because for each woman, the time of married life is different, some only need 10 minutes, and some take 1 hour." ”
And the time of married life also varies from person to person, so time is only one part of it.
The second is quality, because women's satisfaction with marital life is still related to the quality of marital life, because some people believe that "women's satisfaction with marital life weakens with time." ”
Because women don't value much time in their married life, a happy night is enough, so quality is important.
Then there are individual differences, because everyone has their own experience, so the level of satisfaction with the life of the couple is also different, so you can't measure the needs of others because of your own needs.
Fourth, women are satisfied with their married life.
Therefore, women's satisfaction with their married life is not only determined by time, but also by emotion and communication.
This is also the reason why the relationship between Aunt Beckham and his wife has become stronger, because in their married life, there is not only common growth, but also mutual support and emotional exchange.
A story about Aunt Beckhan and his wife appeared in the media, when Aunt Beckhan accidentally dropped his ring on the floor while preparing a surprise for Victoria's birthday, but he did not stop and continued to complete his surprise plan.
When he finished his surprise plan, he remembered that his ring had been dropped on the floor but could not be found, so he wrapped the ring in a scrap of paper on the floor, and then put the scrap in a small box and gave it to Victoria.
Victoria was very happy to receive the gift, because she had loved such small details since she was a child, and she was very touched to know that her husband knew it.
In Beckhan's opinion, although he did not find the ring, he wrapped it and gave it to his wife, so this is also the fulfillment of his promise.
5. Conclusion: The clock of happiness is driven by the heart.
Therefore, a truly happy married life should not be limited by a single time standard, after all, only by finding the frequency and method suitable for both parties in the married life, can we have a happy married life.
And the long-distance marriage run of the Baker Hangu couple also proves this, because the satisfaction in the couple's life is built by emotion, communication, and understanding, and time is only one part of it.
Therefore, there is no standard for women's expectation time for married life, and a truly happy married life lies more in the depth of emotions and the quality of interaction.
The clock of true happiness is driven by the heart, time is only a part of it, what matters is the resonance and quality of emotions.