On the path of a child's growth, they may encounter a variety of difficulties and challenges, one of which is being bullied.
Professor Li Meijin, an expert in educational psychology, once said: "Children's feelings are often determined by the attitude of their parents. And the most direct way for a child to feel the love from his parents is to make him feel clearly that you are on his side.
So, as parents, our instinctive reaction may be anger and protection, but how to deal with it correctly in order to truly help our children is a question we need to ponder.
When a child needs our support, we need to respond in a timely manner.
Please remember that during these 4 moments, we must maintain a united front with the child, and we must "support" him without hesitation.
When a child is being bullied
I remember when I was in elementary school, there were a few naughty boys in the class, and they often teamed up to bully another skinny boy, and then the skinny boy told the head teacher about the incident, and the head teacher contacted all parents to go to school.
I still remember the parents of the skinny boy, as soon as they arrived at school, they began to scold the boy, saying that others didn't bully him much, so they bullied him, blaming him for being too cowardly and deserving to be bullied, while the parents of other bullying boys didn't say anything.
Later, the thin boy seemed to have dropped out of school, and I heard that he had fallen out with his parents and was going to work.
In the face of such parents, they always feel that their children are bullied is a child's problem, but they don't know that parents also play a very important role.
Therefore, when children have the courage to confide in us about what they are going through, the first thing we need to do is to give them a sense of security and trust.
We can tell our children that in the face of bullying, the first thing to do is to stay calm and not be swayed by emotions. We can teach them simple self-defense skills, such as how to use body language to appear more assertive and tough, or how to verbally express their dissatisfaction and resistance. At the same time, we also want to tell them not to be afraid to ask for help, whether it is to teachers, school administrators, or our parents, they are people to rely on.
When a child makes a mistake
When a child makes a mistake, if you are on the opposite side, it will give him a strong sense of betrayal.
No child is perfect, and making mistakes is part of growing up.
When children make mistakes because of ignorance or negligence, they are often filled with fear and insecurity. At this time, the attitude of parents is crucial. If parents just blindly blame and punish, children may choose to escape because they are afraid, and even have low self-esteem.
On the contrary, if parents can calm down first, and then face their children's mistakes with an understanding and tolerant attitude, children will feel the love and trust of their parents, so that they will have more courage to take responsibility and work hard to correct their mistakes.
When the child is compared
When children are compared, it is the affirmation and encouragement of their parents that makes them feel confident.
In modern society, competition is everywhere, and children are no exception.
Fu Seoul once said an experience of herself: on a certain occasion, her son was asked by others to memorize ancient poems.
In a hurry, Fu Seoul shouted directly: "I'll carry it." The heart of the child is vividly reflected in her!
When children are compared because they are inferior to others in grades, talents, or other aspects, their self-esteem can take a serious hit.
This blow can cause them to doubt themselves or even give up on their efforts.
The "support" of parents again and again is the most effective psychological support for children.
Parents can tell their children that everyone has their own shining point and does not need to be compared to others. As long as you work hard, you will definitely be able to make progress and realize your dreams.
When children are ridiculed
I wonder if your children have ever been ridiculed?
Like my little nephew, when he was in school, he was often nicknamed by other children, and every time someone called him, he was anxious with the children, and sometimes he would "fight".
So, when children are ridiculed, the protection and support of parents can teach them to be strong.
As children grow up, they will inevitably encounter ridicule or ostracism.
This experience has a profound impact on a child's psychological development and may cause them to become timid, sensitive, and have low self-esteem.
And the "support" of parents again and again is the best psychological protection for children.
Parents can tell their children not to belittle themselves because of the ridicule of others, but to believe in themselves and face difficulties bravely.
At the same time, parents should also support their children with actions, such as giving them enough attention and support when they are ridiculed, so that they can feel the power of parents.