Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
When people reach middle age, life is like a picture scroll, slowly unfolding.
At this age, most of us have experienced the baptism of time and have begun to enter a more stable stage of life.
However, many women do not know how to restrain themselves. It's still like when I was young, I can say whatever I want, and I can do whatever I want.
As a result, some words and some practices seem to be unintentional, but they bring unnecessary trouble and even disaster to themselves.
Especially for middle-aged women, there are three "words" that must not be said casually.
01
Complaining about the husband and children
When people reach middle age, perhaps everyone has to face the difficulty of "the old and the young", especially for middle-aged women.
Family trivialities, the pressure of life, and worryless husbands and children will make women annoyed.
With grievances and dissatisfaction in their hearts, some women can't control themselves. It is very likely that in front of relatives and friends, or in some public places, complain about the husband's various wrongs, or the child's rebellion and ignorance.
These complaints may be able to temporarily alleviate the depression in the heart, but the side effects are obvious, and it is likely to have an adverse impact on yourself.
People often say: "Every family has a scripture that is difficult to read", and every family and every couple have an easy time.
Exposing the contradictions within the family to outsiders will not only fail to solve the problem, but will make outsiders see jokes and become the talk of others after dinner.
What's more, this kind of complaint can also cause harm to the children and husband, they will feel inferior or angry because of these negative comments of you, and it is likely to quarrel with you and cause family conflicts.
Mr. Yang Jiang once said: "Family is the haven of life, don't let the wind and rain of complaining erode this harbor." ”
For middle-aged women, we must learn to transmit positive energy and replace complaints and accusations with warmth and encouragement.
02
Talking about the rights and wrongs of others
Middle-aged women have experienced the first half of their lives and often have certain experience and insight.
That's actually a good thing for us. Experience can help us avoid detours in life, and insight can prevent us from being fooled.
However, this kind of experience and insight can sometimes lead them unconsciously into the whirlpool of discussing the rights and wrongs of others.
Talking about people behind their backs, whether out of curiosity, gossip, or whatever, is irresponsible.
It is very likely that these comments of yours will be spread, and if you are added to the vinegar again, you may get yourself into trouble.
Once the person being talked about hears what you say, he will be resentful and dissatisfied with you. When you meet someone with a small heart, maybe they will hit back at you and say that you are useless.
The ancients said: "Sit quietly and often think about your own mistakes, and don't talk about others." ”
This sentence is to warn us that in our spare time, we should reflect more on ourselves, instead of discussing the rights and wrongs of others.
Middle-aged women must keep their mouths shut, learn to respect others, and talk less about other people's privacy. In this way, you will not become the object of other people's discussions.
03
Show off your words
With the growth of age and the improvement of social status, some middle-aged women often show off their self-esteem in their speech and demeanor.
For example, showing off that her husband has the ability, earns a lot of money, how superior the family life is, how good the children are, and how good the university she was admitted to. Even take out what you wear on your body, how expensive it is, and show it off.
This kind of ostentation satisfies vanity, but it does not necessarily bring real respect and envy to oneself, but rather arouses resentment and envy from others.
In real life, examples of this abound. When you start showing off, others don't say it, but in their hearts they are already laughing at you. If you show off too much, I'm afraid that others will only stay away from you.
Dale Carnegie wrote in The Weakness of Human Nature: "True wisdom is the knowledge of one's own ignorance." ”
Therefore, middle-aged women should learn to be humble and low-key, and use their strength and character to win the recognition of others, rather than showing off to prove themselves.
This kind of practice will only alienate others from you, and even attract hatred.
The so-called "too many words must be lost", for middle-aged women, they should cherish their words and image. Avoid complaining about your husband and children, talking about the rights and wrongs of others, and showing off yourself.
As Shakespeare said, "Language is the window to the soul." ”
As a middle-aged woman, we must convey warmth and wisdom through this "window", rather than letting the words of negative energy cover up this beauty.
Only in this way can we make the days more comfortable and less troubles and disasters.