In the siege of marriage, how many people are struggling with the predicament of having a bad life and being inseparable? When the passion fades, the triviality of firewood, rice, oil and salt becomes the main theme of life, and the feelings between husband and wife are gradually fading away in the quarrels and indifference day after day.
However, divorce is not the only way to solve the problem, and when we can't change the status quo, we may be able to think about how to find our own happiness in an unhappy marriage from another perspective.
1. Accept reality and let go of obsessions
"Marriage is like a besieged city, people outside the city want to go in, people in the city want to come out. This classic description of Mr. Qian Zhongshu can be said to exhaust the complexity and subtlety of marriage.
When things go wrong in our marriage, accepting reality is a crucial step.
We must not run away from it, we must not deceive ourselves, but we should face it all with courage.
Letting go of the obsession with marriage does not mean giving up the pursuit of happiness, but looking at it with a more peaceful and rational attitude.
Don't always dwell on the good memories of the past, because the past is the past and cannot be recreated.
Excessive reminiscence of the past will only make us fall into endless sentimentality and regret, and we cannot extricate ourselves.
At the same time, don't always have unrealistic illusions about the future and expect things to suddenly turn out for the better.
The future is unknown, and too many fantasies will only disappoint us more in reality.
Learning to cherish the present and grasp the present is what we should do.
Every moment is precious and a part of our lives.
We must feel the beauty of the moment with our hearts and discover the small happiness around us.
Cherish every moment with your partner and manage the relationship with your heart.
The past has passed, the future has not yet come, and the only thing we can grasp is the present.
In this besieged city of marriage, let us face it with a mature mentality, cherish it, and create our own happiness.
2. Change yourself, not the other person
In the journey of marriage, we often fall into the trap of expecting the other person to change according to our ideas.
However, we often overlook the crucial fact that changing ourselves is much easier and more effective than changing the other person.
When we look away from the other person and look at ourselves, we are surprised to find that many of the problems that plague us are rooted in ourselves.
Our attitudes, the way we behave, and the way we deal with problems can inadvertently affect our relationship.
When we are able to confront these problems and proactively look for the causes in ourselves, we start the first step of change.
In fact, it is only when we learn to change ourselves first that we can truly have the ability to influence the other person.
When we make a positive change in ourselves, this change will be imperceptibly passed on to the other person, so that the other person can feel our efforts and growth.
This positive influence will gradually permeate the marriage relationship, making the interaction between each other more harmonious and making the marriage better.
Changing ourselves doesn't happen overnight, it requires a lot of patience and perseverance.
We must have the courage to face our own shortcomings, have the courage to admit our mistakes, and be willing to work hard for them.
At the same time, we also need to believe that when we change ourselves, we will not only be able to improve our marital relationship, but also make ourselves better people.
In marriage, let's start by changing ourselves, for each other, for the sake of common happiness, and strive to make ourselves better and better.
3. Learn to let go and let yourself go
"The most regrettable thing in life is that I easily gave up what I shouldn't give up and stubbornly insisted on what I shouldn't have. ”
Plato's insight profoundly reveals the helplessness and sorrow of life.
When facing an irretrievable marriage, letting go is a kind of courage and a kind of wisdom.
We often get caught up in the pain and troubles of the past, unable to extricate ourselves, reminiscing about the good things in the past and regretting our mistakes, however, doing so will only make us more miserable.
We can also feel worries and fears about the uncertainty of the future, fear of loss, and fear of facing the unknown in life.
But in fact, we should understand that life is too short and time flies by, and we can't allow ourselves to be immersed in these negative emotions all the time.
Those things that are not worth it are like heavy shackles that bind our hearts and make it impossible for us to breathe freely.
There is no need for us to struggle with a relationship that has passed away, and there is no need to feel sorry for ourselves for the fact that we cannot change.
Only by learning to let go and let go of ourselves can we truly come out of the shadows of the past and embrace life again.
When we learn to let go, we will find that there are many beautiful things in life waiting for us to discover, and there are many wonderful moments waiting for us to experience.
We can pursue our dreams, we can meet new people, we can try new things.
Only when we truly let go of the past can we truly enjoy life and find our own happiness.
Let us take this step bravely, say goodbye to the pain and troubles of the past, and welcome the beauty and hope of the future.
Marriage is a spiritual practice that requires us to spend a lifetime learning and growing. When we encounter problems in our marriage, we should not give up easily, nor blindly persevere, but learn to think from different angles and find solutions to solve problems.
Whether our marriage is happy or not, we must learn to love ourselves, because only when we learn to love ourselves can we truly love others and make our marriage better.