#头条创作挑战赛#
Mr. Wang Guozhen once said: "You have entered the middle-aged stage in a hurry, whether it is your body shape, facial features, eyes, or inner world, you have been deeply imprinted with the mark of middle age." ”
In the hustle and bustle of life, we are like a never-ending machine, constantly passing through the torrent of time.
Especially as we enter middle age, we each play multiple roles on the stage of life - as filial children, conscientious parents, trustworthy partners, and hardworking and dedicated professionals.
We strive to present the most perfect self-image on the big stage of society, but we often neglect to pay attention to and care for ourselves.
Ignore your own feelings
On Zhihu, I once read a thought-provoking story.
This netizen is a full-time housewife who always puts the needs of her husband and children first in her daily life.
Whenever there is a delicious food at home, she is always willing to give up her own enjoyment and give priority to ensuring that her husband and children taste it.
She chooses to take on all the chores and chores at home alone, and completes every task silently.
Her original intention was that, considering that her husband often had to work overtime until late at night due to his heavy work, and in the face of his tired face, she only hoped that he could rest enough and recover his strength.
At the same time, she is willing to do her best to let her children have a carefree and joyful childhood.
Originally, she hoped that her selfless dedication would be understood and appreciated by her family.
However, during this year's May Day promotion, she carefully selected short sleeves, pants and belts for her husband, fulfilling her children's long-awaited wishes for toys and highlighters, and also bought herself a discounted dress.
However, when the husband saw the parcel, he said something like this: "You are no longer a little girl, why do you still buy a dress?"
The child on the side also echoed: "Yes, Mom, you don't usually go out, there is no need to dress so carefully." ”
At this moment, the words of the father and son were like a cold wind, which made her mood suddenly fall into a trough.
Unexpectedly, my daily efforts did not win their gratitude, but were ignored and unworthy of treatment.
In the process of sustaining life, there is no more cost-effective behavior than expecting to give wholeheartedly in exchange for the deep understanding and empathy of others.
Over time, however, you will come to understand that endlessly pandering to others does not necessarily win them a sincere response, but may make them take it for granted.
As The Outsider puts it, "If you want to be happy, you must avoid paying too much attention to the attitudes and behaviors of others." ”
Each of us lives in the world, and each of us interprets the main theme of our own life.
It is true that we can give for others, but in the process, we must not forget to pay attention to and care for our own inner feelings.
Ignoring one's own image
Schopenhauer once said: "The external image of man is like a mirror image of the inner world, and the face is like a map that depicts destiny in detail, showing the fate of the individual in a comprehensive way." ”
The external image of a person not only faithfully reflects the inner spiritual world, but also hides a person's unique philosophy of life and attitude towards the world.
According to biographer Walter Isaacson, when Jobs first entered the workplace, he was rather unusual: barefoot, with long hair, wearing a loose coat that symbolized hippie culture, and often with a unique body odor that had not been bathed for half a month.
Even though Steve Jobs had already shown excellent business acumen at that time, his career was not easy because of his informal image: during his tenure at Atari, he was ostracized by his colleagues due to poor personal hygiene, and was even placed on a solitary night shift;
In the initial stage of entrepreneurship, he urgently needed financing support, but his casual sitting posture and nonchalant attitude discouraged potential investors.
He was also so reckless that he clashed with top management, which eventually led to the company he founded having to kick him out.
It wasn't until he joined Pixar, under the guidance of CEO Catmoore, that Jobs deeply realized that even if he is a gifted person, if he can't show himself appropriately, he may be regarded as a deviant, and only by winning the acceptance of others can he truly release and maximize his talent.
Since then, Mr. Jobs has shifted from his usual unkempt style to a clean and crisp public persona — with clean-cut short hair, his signature T-shirt and jeans.
As Russell elaborates, "Appearance is essentially the outward manifestation of inner qualities, which both reveal your unique view of life and hide the ideal of life that you are striving for." ”
In middle age, it is no one's responsibility to rely solely on the superficial informality of others to delve deeper into their inner truth.
Although people's appearance is determined by nature, the individual's image and demeanor and clothing matching can often reflect their life philosophy, level cultivation and aesthetic taste to a certain extent.
Therefore, we should always maintain a high self-image at all times and places, and pursue a proper appearance, a well-proportioned posture, and a gentle speech and demeanor, because these will invisibly nourish and enrich our life.
This is also confirmed by the research of psychology expert Marry Bean:
About 55% of the impressions formed by the first meeting of the two people are based on their external image, 38% depend on the tone of their voice, and only 7% really depend on the content of the conversation and its situational background.
Only those who sincerely respect and treat themselves well can win the same reward of life and avoid being neglected and treated by life.
Ignore your own shortcomings
In Who Are You Working For, there is a thought-provoking story.
The main character, Jack, works for a trading company but feels underappreciated and underpaid, and once complains to a friend, "One day, I'm going to leave in anger." ”
The friend did not immediately echo this, but asked him: "Do you have an in-depth understanding of the company's various businesses, and do you have all the basic knowledge and skills required to engage in international trade?"
Jack was confused by these questions and replied that he didn't know.
Therefore, my friend advised Jack to stay calm, concentrate on his work, and then consider future plans after he is fully familiar with the company's business, so as to achieve personal growth and progress.
Jack accepted his friend's advice and has since abandoned his lazy attitude and turned to his work.
After a year of hard work, Jack and his friends are reunited.
A friend asked him, "Now that you have all the business knowledge, when are you going to implement your departure plan?"
Jack responds with a smile: "Since I re-examined my self-positioning and put my heart and soul into my work, not only have I been recognized by my boss and colleagues, but I have also been promoted and given a raise. ”
This story reveals a universal phenomenon:
Many people are accustomed to looking for reasons when they encounter problems, such as complaining that they have no talent and unfair fate when their wages are not high;
When encountering setbacks, they lament that their fate is ill-fated, and villains are in charge.
They tend to ignore their own shortcomings, but they can easily find all kinds of flaws in others, which only traps them in an endless cycle of negativity.
Only when you know and understand yourself deeply can you accurately grasp your own limitations and bravely face your shortcomings.
As the poet Heine said, "Reflection is like a mirror that clearly and unmistakably reflects our mistakes and gives us a precious opportunity to correct ourselves." ”
Those who are excellent will know how to deeply self-reflect after making mistakes, because they know that every correction of mistakes is a step forward.
Only in this way can we counterattack in the predicament and achieve a better self.
Ignoring one's own health
Although we all understand that health is the most precious treasure in life, once we lose it, everything will be eclipsed,
However, it is often difficult to deeply understand the importance of pain before experiencing it firsthand.
Unconsciously, some bad lifestyle habits are quietly eroding the foundation of our health.
Recently, there was a news report of a middle-aged man who had to be urgently admitted to the hospital ICU after overeating.
At that time, his condition was critical, with multiple organ functions impaired, and the lipid content in his blood was so high that the top layer of the blood was milky white and cloudy like milk.
The doctor immediately declared him critically ill and considered plasmapheresis, in which blood is drawn from the patient's body, filtered to remove excess oil and impurities, and then purified blood returned to the body.
Many people are puzzled by this, how can an ordinary dinner turn into a life-and-death rescue?
In fact, what made this man fall into the intensive care unit this time was not only this indulgent dinner, but also all kinds of bad lifestyles accumulated on weekdays.
As early as a few years ago, during a physical examination, the man was found to have high blood lipids, but because there were no obvious symptoms of discomfort, he did not pay enough attention to it, and still maintained his original lifestyle:
Eating greasy and spicy food, drinking beer from time to time, staying up late for a long time and lack of exercise can eventually lead to a complete breakdown of body functions.
Thankfully, after the full treatment of medical staff, the man finally managed to get out of danger.
There is no more painful and harsh truth in life than when we are supposed to value and take care of our bodies, but we choose to indulge ourselves, indulge in alcohol, stay up late, and overeat, leaving our precious health conditions to be lost.
Every trace of damage you do to your body now will be repaid exponentially or even a thousand times in the future.
Read a passage:
"No one has been financially struggling because of their focus on health care, but there have been people who have lost everything because of their health. ”
Don't wait until your body is in condition to realize that you should always take care of your health.
From now on, nothing can be traded with health, only a healthy body is the true source of happiness and a solid foundation for your happy life.
As people enter middle age, they often realize that it is themselves that are most likely to be overlooked.
In the second half of life, we should pay attention to self-awareness, improve self-image, fill in our own shortcomings, and take care of our body, which is the most appropriate response and respect for ourselves.
In the years to come, it is advisable to reduce over-pandering to others, shift more focus to self, and learn self-satisfaction and pleasure, which is the most ideal posture of life.
Please like and support, I hope you and I can live our true selves and live the way we yearn.