- In fact, everyone does not know what kind of parenting style is good.
Raising children is actually a lot of fun. If you want to have a happy life, if you don't "enjoy" raising children, you will lose it. But there is a dizzying amount of information nowadays, such as "this is dangerous" and "that is important". Everyone must think, "The more I know about this information, the smoother it will be to raise a child!" But in this case, no one dares to say that they have all the information, so they are very uneasy, and they can't help but think, "Is this okay?" Is there any other way?" In fact, there is no "one good way" for all children.
- To be honest, there is no standard answer to the difficult question of "how to raise children". Just raise it the way you like.
Actually, it's not just about raising children, people are very uneasy right now, but it's also something that can't be helped. Because the world is changing so fast.
In the past, people lived for "home". Because we want to protect our common "family", everyone in the extended family can support each other. Otherwise, you won't be able to survive at all, and even the entire family will be destroyed. In such a situation, when faced with a child, people will think, "If this child grows up to be an adult who can take charge on his own, then it will be troublesome!" It's not just the family that thinks so, the people in the village think so too. Because the whole community lived together at that time, the matter of raising children can also be said to be a mobilization of the whole village and community cooperation.
Extended families see their children's parents as "young couples" and believe that their most important value is to support the family as a young and middle-aged workforce, so the task of raising children is left to grandfathers, grandmothers, or other members of the family. And there are neighbors on the periphery of the big family, and then there is the whole society, plus the surrounding natural environment, all of which are raising children together. This pattern of parenting has continued until recent years, and parents in the past have not experienced the exercise of suddenly taking on parental responsibilities on their own.
Since the beginning of exchanges with the West, especially since the Second World War, individualism has suddenly crept in. As a result, everyone began to feel that it was more important to do what they liked than to be bound by their grandparents, family, village, etc., as before. As a result, the "nuclear family" intensified, and young couples began to pursue a free life. But the price of this is that without any help, the couple can only raise them alone. But young couples have not been trained in "how to be parents" at all. With the advancement of urbanization, the so-called regional symbiotic society has also disappeared, which is why young parents feel anxious.
- Individualism is actually a concept born in the context of Western culture. We're just trying to mimic some semblance of individualism. Because they are good at imitation, they can still work to some extent, but deep down in people's hearts, they don't fully agree with it, so individualism is very fragile, and they don't realize the root of the problem. In addition, when we introduced a culture of individualism, we also rejected the tradition of mutual support that we had been pursuing in the past, so that there was no "individualism" and no "extended family". The consequences of this incident are constantly being felt, and the anxiety of raising children is also derived from it.
- When the individualistic perspective came to us, the "home" of the past was denied, and the company became a "home" instead. The company is like a "home" in the past, everyone supports each other and works hard to maintain the prosperity of this "home", which is why it has achieved such great economic success. But to a certain extent, it forces all members to work only for "home". In this way, for his father, he had to throw his "home" aside for the sake of the company's "home". The "father" was absent from the family, and the mother had to take on all the responsibility of raising the child alone, isolated and overwhelmed.
In this sense, not only raising children, but also the general anxiety and anxiety of people nowadays are also traceable to a certain extent.
In this day and age, it's not just you who feel uneasy. Knowing this, can you be a little grateful?
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