Wen \ Wangshu
01.44-year-old female executive has a hard time
Once, the topic "44-year-old female executive was asked by her husband to divorce without having children" rushed to the hot search, which aroused widespread attention from netizens.
When she was young, female executives and her husbands fell in love with each other and entered the palace of marriage. Because both of them are very ambitious, and they feel that it doesn't matter if they want to have children or not, so they agreed to Dink.
In a two-person world, there is no noise of children, and there is no hardship of raising children. Compared with their peers, the life of the two looks like living immortals.
Time was very fast, both of them reached middle age, but there seemed to be no warning, and the husband suddenly said to his 44-year-old wife: "Either give birth or divorce!"
The wife didn't react at once, and after asking carefully, she realized that the husband wanted to experience this warm feeling when he saw his friends and children around his knees......
After a few days and nights of tossing and turning, the wife decided to respond to her husband and prepare to have a child.
Helplessly, she has not been able to usher in a miracle.
After going to the hospital for an examination, she learned that at this age, not only did the quality of her eggs not meet the standards, but she also had uterine fibroids, and she had to undergo surgery for a year before she could get pregnant.
This road to a baby is extremely difficult.
Netizens had a heated discussion in the comment area, and even quarreled because of different views.
Some people say: "When deciding on Dink, an agreement should be signed so that the person who repents will pay the price";
Some people also said: "If you leave, you have money and a job, what ......are you afraid of?"
But what's the use of saying that now?
Now that a woman is obviously "being coerced", isn't she still bending her will in vain and obedient to cater to her husband's needs? Obviously, she doesn't want a divorce.
There are so many things involved in divorce: property, relationships...... The woman is completely passive.
Some people say that this is too much!
Originally, the agreement was agreed by both of them, but now the man is in breach of contract, but he still dares to blackmail her?
Yes, isn't this husband gambling that women value feelings and are reluctant to leave?
And even if a woman can really give birth, in fact, she is also coerced by her husband's "divorce", and it is against her free will, won't she feel wronged?
And if a woman tries many times in the end, she just can't give birth, then the man will just throw his hands and leave, how can she be embarrassed?
The naked reality tells us: it is obviously the man who violates the agreement, but it must be the woman who has to bear the price!
Why?
A woman's physiological characteristic is weakness!
In Dink's family, there are both husband and wife who regret it, and some husbands who regret it.
But no matter who repents, women have to bear more price than men, so, as a woman, you really have to be cautious and cautious about "Dink".
In the matter of Dink, the cost of a man's repentance is low, he can divorce at any time and find a young one to help him give birth, while a woman is really powerless when she is older.
02. Did old Dink regret it?
When it comes to Dink, the first thing that comes to everyone's mind is "freedom, no pressure, and enjoy life".
In recent years, between "having offspring" and "personal development", more and more young people are choosing Dink.
From the declining birth rate of newborns, it can also be seen that young people yearn for Dink.
In fact, the contradictions in marriage are not only because of children. Sometimes, children are the bond of marriage.
According to statistics, there are more than 600,000 "Dink" families on the mainland.
Since the 80s of the last century, the first batch of Dink couples have appeared in the first-tier cities of the mainland.
Over time, it has been refined into iron ding, white ding, being dink, petting ding, pseudo-dink, and so on.
Among them, Bai Ding (after a few years of Dink, one of the parties repented and Bai had a Dink dream), pseudo-Dink (when he was young, he had a big heart and had no ability to make decisions), and it was often women who were injured!
Now that the first Dink couples are old aged, do they regret it?
Liu Yong, a physician at Beijing Obstetrics and Gynecology Hospital, once shared a true story.
Once, Liu Yong met a 42-year-old pregnant woman.
He asked why he had his first child at such an old age.
The pregnant woman sighed and explained the reason.
She and her husband have always been Dink, and they have been reading and planting flowers in their spare time, which is very comfortable.
On this day, the nephew who came to visit exclaimed: "Auntie, your house is so big! When you and your uncle die, this house will be mine." ”
Hearing this, she suddenly had mixed feelings in her heart: "A little child, how can you think of this?"
She thought about it, it must be her nephew's parents who saw that they had no children and discussed the house in private.
So, they changed their minds and decided to have a baby.
Reminds me of a passage:
"Those who have no children and no daughters suddenly find that there are many vultures around them. They stare at you with red eyes, waiting for you to die, looking for your weakness and taking the opportunity to peel off a piece of flesh. These vultures may be relatives, neighbors, caregivers, or even strangers. ”
This is the cruelest side of the world. And human nature often does not stand the test.
03. The regret of colleague Dink
Thinking of my colleague Mr. Wang, she used to be an "iron ding", but she would never have children no matter what.
A few years ago, she went through the formalities of retirement. She is a senior secondary school teacher, has never been married, and has always lived with her parents.
When he was young, Mr. Wang talked about an object. The two were normal classmates, and after graduation, they were assigned to two cities, and neither of them was willing to leave their hometown.
Soon, the male classmate started a new relationship, and Mr. Wang was grief-stricken. Since then, she has never been married.
Nowadays, Mr. Wang has a generous pension, and life is naturally not a problem. However, seeing the relatives and friends around him, the children and grandchildren are around his knees, and the family is happy, and he can't help but feel a little lonely.
For women, Dink, in essence, is a big gamble on the uncertainty of the future. You think you can do it on your own, but in your old age, you will find that loneliness may consume you.
Director Er Dongsheng was both talented and graceful, and it was not until he was 43 years old that he and Luo Xiaowen, who was 13 years younger, entered the palace of marriage.
Er Dongsheng claimed that "Dink is the bottom line", people are reluctant to have children in middle age, and Luo Xiaowen, who has a low profile, agrees.
However, after 20 years of ups and downs. Er Dongsheng suddenly announced her divorce, and now, her daughter with her new girlfriend is two years old.
The man who once swore an oath with himself formed a happy and warm family of three.
And his wife Luo Xiaowen is 50 years old, she is remarried and wants a child, it is impossible, can she not collapse?
It's really embarrassing to miss the childbearing age a long time ago and lose the love you love, but there is really no turning back in life.
Every choice in life is like opening a blind box.
Although many people envy Dink's life, they do not regret having children.
Dink, after all, is a very niche and difficult way of life.
Your parents will leave you, your relatives will too, your friends will leave one by one even if they say they want to be together, only the child, you take care of him young, he will naturally comfort you to old age, now people, all eat and drink without worry, children are more to give you spiritual comfort, and you have no children, will not even be able to achieve this comfort.
And accompanying the growth of a life is to re-experience the process of life and self-growth, which is a bit tiring, but it is really worth it.
04 Kang Hui Dink's regret
Ask yourself again: Can you and your lover always maintain your original intention?
CCTV host Kang Hui used to be a staunch Dink, but Kang Hui's parents were very opposed. Moreover, his mother's greatest wish is to have a lovely grandson in front of her.
However, until the death of the two old men, their wishes were not fulfilled.
Kang Hui regretted it and wrote in his autobiography "Average Score":
"For more than ten years, my mother has rarely mentioned the matter of wanting to hold her grandson and granddaughter, as if she was unwilling, but she was powerless to return to heaven, so she accepted the fact that I chose Dink. ”
When you are young, you always want to run away from your parents, but as you get older, you will become more and more soft-hearted, and you will be grateful for the nurturing grace of your parents.
In the show, Kang Hui said frankly: The thought of not being able to let his parents hold their grandson as they wished made me feel very uncomfortable.
This kind of guilt has become a knot in his heart that he can't untie in his life.
Dink is an attitude to life. As for happiness or not, if a person drinks water, he knows whether he is warm or cold. The Dink Road is easy to say, but it is difficult to persevere.
It is true that the Dinks do not have to have children, which does save a lot of trouble. You just need to take care of yourself, it seems that you can live arbitrarily, but arbitrariness is temporary, because in old age, you always need a person who pours tea and water, a person who sends you to the hospital, a person who can occasionally go to the nursing home to see you, and a person who can accompany you to chat.
05. Mei Niang said
Mr. Zhou Guoping said in "Everyone is a Universe":
"We live in the world, and we are inevitably burdened with various responsibilities. Most of these responsibilities should be borne by families, positions, and the state and society. ”
Yes, I am also a mother of two children, to be honest, I understand the hard work of bringing a baby, whether it is Dabao or Erbao, from birth, I eat and sleep with me, although it is a little tired, but it is really more happy than painful, more relieved than disappointed.
If the young people of this world are not willing to have children, generation after generation, then what will become of the earth? Without youth, vitality, and truth, there will be no future in this world.
And every pair of parents who are willing to give birth is taking on a social responsibility!
Of course, at the end of the day, whatever decision you make, it's a personal choice.
When we talk about Dink, we're not questioning this way of life. After all, there are so many disadvantages of Dink, and the price for a woman to regret it is too great.
So, it's better to plan early!