Recently, I swiped a video: A junior high school student in Shanghai was kicked out of the house by his parents!
The reason is that the junior high school student spent more than 1,000 yuan to buy his beloved sneakers, and after the parents found out, they may think that the child will love famous brands at a young age and have a bad atmosphere, or they may feel that the child is spending money indiscriminately, etc., so they kicked the child out.
So the junior high school student stayed at the same school for a while. After listening to the ins and outs of the matter, the students who knew the situation directly shouted in the air in the form of a video to fight for their friends.
Restore the shoe buying incident,
Is the child spending money indiscriminately?
Hearing that their children spent more than 1,000 to buy a pair of sneakers, many parents who are parents believe that they will have different ideas.
Why do children love vanity so much, and spend more than a thousand for a pair of shoes?
Did the child spend money indiscriminately and secretly take out the pocket money for the New Year and squander it?
Does the child not know how expensive and cheap, and spend more than a thousand in the blink of an eye?
Indeed, more than 1,000 is not a particularly small number at present.
It can be a family's food money for several days;
It can also be a month's rent for a college student;
Even half a month's living expenses of a poor family.
So it seems understandable that parents are furious and kick their children out of the house despite 3721.
But the truth of the matter is that the child himself also planned to save up for a long time to buy these shoes.
The child did not use the "huge money" red envelopes given by relatives and friends in the New Year, nor did they get it through any bad way, but saved it little by little. The classmate said in the video that he usually goes out to play, but he doesn't drink milk tea when his classmates drink it, and he doesn't buy games when his classmates buy them.
It's such a good child, who is working hard in a planned and continuous way for what he wants, and if I meet such a child, I will be very happy.
You must know that the child's world is also full of temptations, delicious food, fun, good looks, and classmates are following, and it is impossible to buy this pair of shoes that he has loved for a long time if he can't resist any temptation, or if he is not firm in his goal.
Stop instilling a poor mindset in your children
In the video, the child has a sentence that touched me a lot. He said:
Only through his own efforts to obtain the good does he know that he is worthy of the good. If you don't let your child buy expensive ones, you may be ruining your motivation to pursue a better life. ”
When I saw this sentence, I suddenly felt that today's children really understand it, and they really live too transparently at a young age.
The previous generation has the fetters of the previous generation, especially our grandparents, looking at the price of goods from a few cents to a few cents, from a few cents to a few dollars, to now it may be more than a dozen yuan, dozens of yuan.
Including our own generation, we all came out of the poor years, so diligence and thrift have always been deeply ingrained in our minds.
The old people in the family are reluctant to eat, reluctant to wear, and unwilling to buy new clothes, not because the old people are stubborn and stubborn, but because the historical background has created character habits.
Now that we have long since departed from the past, some parents may have come out of their past lives, so they are allowed to eat and dress in moderation, and they are allowed to pursue them, but some parents are still stuck in the panic of those years of seeking food and clothing, so the thinking of the poor is deeply ingrained and difficult to reverse.
But in reality, when we instill the idea of "I'm not worthy" in our children, they lose very, very many opportunities as they grow up.
For example, different attempts in life, different circumstances.
In the video, the child said very well:
"When your child tells you that I want to buy a very expensive thing, you should tell him that this thing is really good, and you look good in clothes, of course, you should get such a good thing in your own way, such as saving some pocket money, or going to do some simple work during winter and summer vacations, etc. ”
Yes, people are creatures who are willing to work hard when they see their goals, and they are all creatures who have goals and hopes that they will redouble their efforts to find ways to achieve them.
So, the "material desire" with the right values is really important, and when a person really sees a good thing and has a "I don't deserve" mentality, then he is rubbing shoulders with this wonderful world.
Everyone has a "property right"
Parents don't want to cross the line
Actually, I have swiped this topic more than once#I bought something very expensive and was scolded by my parents#.
I thought that the people who shared this topic should be junior high school students and high school students who have no financial foundation, but the truth is that more of the narrators are already working, earning their own money, and the things they buy are really not expensive.
For example, these 2 Xue Mei Niang who cost more than 20 yuan:
For another example, these thirty or forty-one pounds of cherries:
There are even netizens who were scolded for spending 31 yuan to eat with friends......
Seeing these sharing, the harm of the original family was instantly written all over the screen, it was so sad!
I remember that in an issue of "Youth Says", a teenager shouted on the high platform:
Since he was a child, his family instilled in him the idea that his family was poor and he couldn't open the pot, so he didn't dare to eat, wear, fight, and even worry that he would not have the next meal after eating.
When I grew up, I realized that my mother went to the beauty salon every day, and my father wore famous brands.
It's dramatic and full of joy, but it's true that this is the way many families educate their children.
Worried that children will spend lavishly, so they unconsciously "cry poor", and when children try to want something, parents also come up with their own judgment criteria to see if it is worth buying.
Therefore, the child does not dare to fight for it, even if it needs to spend money on daily necessities, it is full of guilt, because the child does not know whether this demand will affect the family's meal tomorrow......
I think the core problem here is that we, as parents, stretch our hands too long and don't have basic trust in our children's values.
The starting point of parents crying poverty may be good, hoping that their children will be frugal and use their money wisely, but parents ignore that their children also have financial quotient, their own values, and their own pursuits.
Take pocket money as an example:
When we give the pocket money to the child, the child already has the property right to the pocket money, that is, the owner of the pocket money.
In other words, the child has full authority to dispose of these pocket money, and he can buy anything, as long as he does not break the law.
Of course, as a parent, I can understand the concerns and mistrust from parents. It's the fear that the child doesn't have the ability to take responsibility. When we see him buy 1,000 yuan of shoes, we think that he may be vain in the future, and we may even think that he may lose my family property in the future.
But in reality, there is no causal relationship.
A lot of people use the worst-case scenario in their minds to judge what's happening, and that's a big mismatch.
And as parents, what we can do is to guide our children on how to arrange this money reasonably, and we have the right to suggest, but we are by no means the judge of the materialistic desires in the child's life.
Think about it, if our children grow up to only listen to other people's words, they obviously have the IQ and ability, but they imply that they can't make decisions.
But in fact, now many of us parents are pushing their children down this road step by step, not making decisions, not daring to try, not creative, and without imagination.
Therefore, returning the property right to the child is the greatest respect for the child, and the child is in control of the property right, and the corresponding consequences and responsibilities will be borne accordingly.
As parents, we can relax.
▍Source: Small package of hemp.