Recently, it was another year of postgraduate entrance examination season, and I talked to my friends about "choice".
I said that I envy her for resigning and studying for graduate school at the age of 35, but now that my work and life are in a mess and in a dilemma, would it be good to go to graduate school at the beginning.
But she told me:
You went to graduate school back then, and you may not be able to live like this now.
In the past, I thought it would be good to be admitted to graduate school, but it was much more difficult than I thought.
Three years are coming to an end, but the environment is getting worse and worse, and there is no hope.
It's very embarrassing, it turns out that every choice in life has limitations, and every road has regrets.
If you choose a high-paying job in a big city, you can only leave your hometown and work alone;
If you choose to provide abundant material conditions, you can only be absent from the company of your children......
From the confusion and anxiety of our youth to the wandering around in middle age, we never thought of landing, but we walked again and again on the road to find the other side.
When you reach a certain age, you may find that in fact, there is no "shore" in life.
High school entrance examination, college entrance examination, university, public entrance examination, graduate school entrance examination, work, marriage, childbirth......
People seem to be in the water all their lives, so we always like to say, "Go ashore, go ashore!"
Always busy for the result, used to saying "when I get through this period, I will ......"
But later I found out that it was difficult to get into the graduate school entrance examination, and it was difficult to be admitted;
It's painful to not find a job, and it's painful to start going to work;
If you are single, you can't find a partner, and if you get married, it's a chicken feather.
You see, life is so unreasonable. It seems to be never-ending and impossible to clear the level.
reminds me of a TV series "No. 8 Pawnshop" I watched when I was a child.
There are all kinds of people in the play, their souls are very different, and their desires are endless.
Mr. Shen pawned his kidney in exchange for the opportunity to go to college;
Mrs. Liang pawned the tongues of her three daughters in exchange for a son to continue the incense;
Miss Bai spent 20 years of her life in exchange for a flower-like beauty......
They try to pawn affection, love, and soul in exchange for a "better" life.
However, in life, many things are "energy conservation".
When Heaven gives you one thing, it will take away another.
This so-called "success" is nothing more than jumping from one puddle to another.
We will never be able to go ashore.
Even if you go to the ideal shore, it is just a floating island, an iceberg.
The other side of the mountain is still a mountain, and the other side of the sea is still a sea, and the momentary happiness is just a respite after drowning.
I once saw a very popular sentence:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but about dancing in the storm.
I deeply believe that those obstacles and unhappiness are our lives themselves.
Everything that happens is an achievement, either to help you or to cross you.
You can't wait until life is no longer difficult to start being happy, and you can't wait until a certain point has come to start living well.
Many things have not come to a long time, and taking going ashore as the goal will only miss the beauty of the moment.
Think about it, have you ever had some "involuntarily" moments:
When I learned that my colleague was promoted and raised, I began to regret that I shouldn't have chosen this job, and I became more and more unhappy;
Seeing others being given gifts, he turned his head and disliked the stingy husband he chose, and felt depressed;
Envied of his friend's lucky opportunity, he immediately lamented his fate and became depressed.
Those who can't let go of the past, the worries that can't be seen, and too many worries about the future are like monstrous waves, swallowing people up every minute.
But if you live a lifetime, you don't have to treat others as "shores" at all, you just need to live yourself.
Heard a little story.
There was a man who was depressed all day long, so he ran to ask the Zen master:
"Master, how can I free my heart?"
The Zen master was silent, but left him here to enlighten himself.
Three days later, the Zen master asked him, "What have you realized?" and the man shook his head blankly.
Then the Zen master slapped his palm with a ring ruler.
The next day, the Zen master came to him again and asked, "What did you realize this time?" and the man shook his head.
So the Zen master slapped his palm again.
On the third day, when the Zen master took out the ruler again, the man retracted his hand.
The Zen master said, "You have finally realized that suffering can be refused." ”
Indeed, everything in this world that can hurt you is actually allowed by you.
No one can trap you but yourself.
is like the line in the movie "The Shawshank Redemption":
What really traps a person is not a cage made of steel, but a high wall that rises in the heart.
On the other hand, most people in reality are addicted to houses, cars, and tickets, and are drunk on fame and fortune.
The desire is getting bigger and bigger, and the "shore" that I want to pursue is also getting bigger and bigger.
There is more than one road to Rome, and there is far more than one way to "go ashore" in life.
As long as you're happy, it doesn't matter how you go down this path, even if you can't be a blockbuster.
You can go back to school at thirty if you want;
If you want, you can live well in this life without getting married.
Every choice is not right or wrong, and there can be a new choice at every fork in the road.
Just like Fan Deng once said,
There is no perfect decision, and all decisions can end up being the art of regret.
You can reflect but don't regret it, you can learn and improve on this basis, but you don't need to dwell on it too much.
When I was a child, I thought it was a big deal to forget my homework;
When I was in high school, I felt that it was a big deal not to be admitted to college;
When you are in love, you feel that it is a big deal to be separated from the person you like.
Looking back now, those mountains that are difficult to cross have actually been crossed;
What I thought was unacceptable, I accepted it.
Everything is your own choice, you can choose to be yourself, or wear a mask to be the "self" that others want, the choice is always in your hands.
What I'm afraid of is that I don't have my own concentration, and I'm always led by the surrounding environment.
In this life, only by looking forward can people cross the high wall and gain inner peace and satisfaction.
Only by letting go of yourself can you really go ashore.
I once saw a sentence:
"There is no end to the bitterness of life. If life is to go ashore, you will have countless shores. ”
Instead of chasing the so-called "shore", it is better to learn to build a continent for yourself in your heart.
After all, life is not elsewhere, not on the shore, but right now, at the feet.
1. Don't give up on learning and be brave enough to take the first step
The opposite of success is not failure, but doing nothing.
While you still have ideas, while you still have what you want, and things you like, do your best and do your best.
You have to do what you haven't done, you have to go to the places you haven't go, and you have to fight for things you don't have, so that you don't come to this world in vain.
Haruki Murakami didn't start writing until he was 29 years old, and Grandma Moxi didn't start drawing until he was 58 years old.
It's never too late to do what you want to do, and you're afraid you'll never dare to take the first step.
Start first and then adjust your breathing, take off first and then adjust your posture.
No one thinks about it at the beginning, you can only figure it out when you are walking.
2. Find the foundation of your life and stick to your passion
Nietzsche once said, "Man and tree are actually the same, and every time the tree wants to get closer to the light and the heights, the more its roots have to go downward, into the earth, into the darkness, into the depths." ”
When people reach middle age, they should have a skill, a field that is willing to be deeply cultivated, and a mentality to do things with a calm heart.
Really good people are not necessarily high IQ, but they know the power of continuity and persist in deep cultivation.
Deeply cultivate their professional ability, introspect and dig deeply, and practice deliberately;
Deeply cultivate their thinking ability, read and think, and cognitively awaken;
Deepen your concentration, calm down, and accumulate steadily.
3. Enrich yourself, clean up the magnetic field first and then increase your energy
There are all kinds of suffering, and since you can't break free, it's better to learn to swim freely.
Swim slowly, and you can always reach the "continent" in your heart.
Learning to create a positive magnetic field for ourselves will also help us to shield ourselves from misfortune.
And don't forget to take yourself seriously and enrich yourself.
Maintain a long-term state of self-discipline, have an independent and free life, and adhere to the belief of upward and beautiful......
Only by ignoring rotten people, not dwelling on trivial matters, not pulling about the past, and not remembering hatred, can life radiate new vitality.
Life in the world is like dust, duckweed, and ants.
Only by trying our best to live the present moment is what we are most sure of.
Maybe you're going through dark days, but you have to believe that there is always a way out in life.
If you have something you want to do, tell yourself that now is the great time and you don't have to wait to get ashore.
After all, your life has just begun.
Author | Shuyu