Some time ago, I went back to the countryside to worship my ancestors, chatting with a few villagers I hadn't seen for a long time, and everyone had a dispute over an issue. The reason for this is that there is a family that has to hold a funeral, and according to traditional customs, there is a ritual at the funeral that needs to be completed by the eldest son of the deceased old man. But the situation is more special, the eldest son died before the old man, according to our custom, the eldest grandson should take over.
This old man family happens to have 3 sons, the eldest is no longer there, the second and third are still there, and they all have sons. It stands to reason that the eldest is the eldest son in the family, and the eldest grandson should refer to the son of the eldest son, who is generally the eldest grandson in the family.
But herein lies the problem. The second child of this family got married and had children earlier, and there was a situation where the second son was older than the eldest son. The end result was that the elders of the family believed that the eldest grandson should refer to the eldest grandson, and that the grandson had been intelligent and favored in the family since childhood, so he was named to perform the rituals that should have been performed by the eldest son.
It didn't take long for this matter to spread among the villagers and aroused heated discussions among everyone. Some of the neighbors thought that the family had done something wrong in this matter, because the eldest grandson, as the name suggests, should be the son of the eldest son. Originally, this was someone else's family affair, but behind this, it involved the definition of "orderly order of the young and the old" in traditional Chinese culture.
For this reason, I did some research to try to find the answer, and then I found that many people do not know the true definition of "eldest grandson", no wonder they have not been able to figure it out.
It all started in ancient times. In ancient times, people attached great importance to the rules, and at that time they were all big families with many children, involving the interests of all aspects, in order to facilitate family management, but also to promote etiquette and etiquette, there was a very strict order of seniority and seniority.
In ancient times, men were allowed to take concubines. In other words, each person can only have one wife, but in addition to the wife, he can also take concubines, which belongs to the "monogamous and polyphony system". Based on this background, sometimes the son born to the concubine is older than the son born to the main wife.
In order to distinguish the different status of "wives and concubines", there is a distinction between a son-in-law and a concubine. The first son born to a wife is called the eldest son, and the first son born to a concubine is called the eldest son. There are many differences in the status of concubines in feudal society, and under normal circumstances, concubines have the right to inherit family property and enjoy higher living treatment than concubines.
And so on, the sons born of sons-in-law and concubines are called grandsons and grandsons. Their status is also to continue the status of their father, and the grandchildren are more favored than the grandchildren, especially the eldest grandchildren.
In the ancient book "Historical Records", there was such a record, "Taijia, the eldest grandson of Cheng Tangshi, is the emperor Taijia". Taijia's grandfather was Shang Tang, the founding monarch of the Shang Dynasty, and his father was Shang Tang's eldest son, Taiding. In other words, Taijia is Taiding's eldest son.
Judging from the relationship between these characters, Taijia is the first son born to Shang Tang's eldest son, and is defined as the "eldest grandson" in the "Historical Records". From this, we can infer that the eldest grandson refers to the first son born to the eldest son, regardless of age. As long as it is the eldest son of the eldest son, no matter how old or young he is in the same generation, he is a veritable "eldest grandson".
According to this logic, in the case mentioned above, if traditional etiquette is strictly followed, the ritual should be performed by the eldest son of the eldest son, not by the eldest grandson. But is this family's approach really inappropriate? This is the definition of the eldest grandson in modern society.
Nowadays, the times are different, and everyone is more advocated, but there is no longer the strict etiquette in the past, especially in the same generation, which is usually sorted according to age. In terms of property inheritance, according to the provisions of mainland law, whether it is the eldest grandson or not, the inheritance rights are equal, and the eldest grandson refers to the eldest grandson, not necessarily the son of the eldest son.
But in many people's concepts, they still stay in the definition of the eldest grandson in feudal society, so there will be similar disputes as before, and everyone can't be sure who is the rightful eldest grandson.
Especially with the development of the times to the present, the mainland implements monogamy, and there is no distinction between descendants and concubines, and it will not have many children as in the past, and it is more respected that everyone is equal and men and women are equal, so it is not so important whether the eldest grandson is or not. However, we should not erase the records in history and culture, but should also take its essence and remove its dross, so as to continue the traditional culture.
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