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Once, my husband said to me, "As a virtuous wife, you should focus all your energy on the house, serving your in-laws and taking care of your children." How can you stand the tiring work outside? You should be at home with peace of mind. When I heard this, I was very unimpressed.
Although I understand my husband's good intentions, I do not agree with his views. I love what I do and am proud of it. I work in marketing planning, and although I am busy every day, I enjoy it, and this job gives me a sense of accomplishment and self-worth. I also want to be financially independent and not completely dependent on my husband. Therefore, I will never give up my career easily.
One day, an unexpected event changed my life and my husband completely. The husband's parents were injured while traveling and needed to be hospitalized for a long time and rehabilitated. The husband thinks that someone needs to be accompanied by the hospital for a long time, otherwise the in-laws' condition will not improve.
So, without warning, my husband made an unreasonable request to me: "You must quit your job immediately and take care of your parents full-time in the hospital." I was so frightened that I blurted out, "But my job is very important to me, and I don't want to quit like that." "
The husband said categorically: "Whoever is responsible for the parents, you are my wife, and you should do your filial piety and take care of my parents." You have to quit your job or get divorced!"
I complained to a good friend and explained my troubles. My friend advised me to stick to myself, saying, "You shouldn't be bound by tradition, you have the right to pursue your ideals." If he really loves you, he should respect your choice. "
After much deliberation, I made up my mind to stand up for myself and maintain my self-esteem. I straightened my back, looked at my husband firmly and said, "I have decided not to resign, you can do whatever you like." "
When my husband learned of my decision, he was furious and called me an "unfilial daughter" and "an unvirtuous wife." He roared and said, "You have disregarded your family like this, you are so selfish! You have lost the most basic morality of being a human being!"
I was also enraged and loudly retorted that I was not wrong and that career and family were not contradictory. I said, "Your feudal mentality is outdated! Taking care of my family and working are not contradictory, I can have the best of both worlds." You shouldn't limit me with a narrow box!"
In this way, the two of us had a big fight in the living room, and neither of us could convince anyone. In the end, my husband angrily slammed the door and left me alone. Looking at his angry back, I had tears in my eyes and mixed feelings in my heart.
For the next few days, the two of us had a big argument over the matter, and neither of us paid any attention to the other. I secretly observed my husband and noticed that there was something unusual about him, as if he was thinking about something.
One night, my husband came to me with a gloomy expression. He said: "I have been reflecting on myself for the past few days, am I too traditional and selfish? Am I wrong to blame you and deprive you of your rights?"
Seeing my husband's change, my anger also subsided. I explained to him, "Although your request is well-intentioned to take care of my parents, it does limit my freedom. But I understand that you are thinking about your family. We should be considerate and tolerant of each other and find the best of both worlds. "
The husband nodded, as if the knot in his heart that had been struggling for a long time had finally opened. He said: "My concept was too old-fashioned before, I should support your work, and we should share the housework together. Only when husband and wife understand each other can the family be happy. "
This experience made me reflect on the importance of gender equality. In modern society, men and women should respect each other and should not be confined to traditional gender boxes. Wives do not have to obey their husbands, we are equal partners and should support each other and achieve each other.
I believe that equality between men and women should be reflected in both the family and society. Previously, housework tended to fall on the wife alone, which was unfair. Now, housework should be shared between the husband and wife, working together to create a warm family atmosphere.
As a working woman, I am also aware of the work-life balance. Many women repeatedly hit a wall in their careers, often because society has given them excessive burden of family responsibilities. Once they give birth, they have to give up their careers and stay at home full-time.
I think this is unfair and a big reason why society is wasting a lot of female talent. Women, like men, should have the right to pursue their own self-worth and career aspirations, and should not be confined to family roles.
We should build a more equal and inclusive social environment where women can balance work and family well, and the two are not contradictory. For example, more humane maternity leave policies can be implemented to allow women to spend more time with their children after giving birth; It is also possible to promote flexible working to give women more flexibility in their work, and so on.
Only in this way can women truly achieve all-round development, family and career at the same time. As a modern woman, I will continue to work hard towards this goal.
Since that argument, the way my husband and I get along has changed dramatically. I continue to work and contribute; And the husband also changed the traditional patriarchal style, taking the initiative to share the housework and take care of the in-laws.
Sometimes when I come home from work, my husband has already cooked the meal and my in-laws are well taken care of. Seeing all this, we looked at each other and smiled, and we were content with each other. I silently said in my heart: This is a happy family life.
Looking back on this experience, I realized that married life requires mutual understanding and compromise. Resting on one's laurels can lead to a stalemate, while openness and honesty can sweep away barriers and strengthen relationships. Marriage is a process of mutual tolerance and mutual appreciation, no one is perfect, the important thing is to heal each other's shortcomings and deficiencies with love.
I think my husband and I have finally found a path to happiness after stumbling through this time. There is no absolute right or wrong on this road, only mutual respect and mutual understanding. We will work together, for ourselves and for our families.
In this way, we heal each other, achieve each other, and slowly realize the true meaning of happiness in ordinary life. Marriage is not an overnight thing, but a process of running in and growing with each other. I believe that as long as we use enough patience and wisdom, we will be able to find the best balance that belongs to each other and work together towards a better future.
In retrospect, that argument did put my relationship with my husband to the test. If neither of us was willing to back down and insist on our own opinions, I am afraid that our relationship would have broken down. Thankfully, in the end, we were both wise enough to listen to each other's voices and find our way forward.
During that time, I also experienced great struggle and pain in my heart. On the one hand, I love my husband deeply and don't want our relationship to end like this; On the other hand, I didn't want to give up my career and be imprisoned in the cage of my family. My heart was sometimes filled with anger, and at other times it was clouded by helplessness and confusion.
Just when I was most helpless in my heart, a phone call from a friend gave me great strength and courage. My friend told me that I had done nothing wrong, that I had the right to pursue self-worth, and that I should not be bound by feudal thinking. Her words were like a sharp sword, cutting the shackles in my heart and regaining my enthusiasm and expectations for life.
With the support and understanding of my friends, I made up my mind to work hard for my ideals. I began to reflect on my conflict with my husband and tried to look at it from a higher perspective. I realized that this was not just a debate over the division of household chores, but also a contest of ideas and values.
The two of us live in the same era, but our ideas are very different. The husband represents the traditional values that the wife should be completely subordinate to the husband and that housework is the wife's main duty. And I represent the new concept of modern women, I pursue equality, independence and freedom, and I want to be able to realize my self-worth.
The two ideas are somewhat irreconcilable, but I don't think it's black and white, either/or. I firmly believe that with enough wisdom and patience, we can find the best of both worlds.
It was with this in mind that I finally made up my mind to pursue my career. I knew it might make my husband furious, but I had to fight for my ideals, even if it came at the cost of our relationship falling apart.
Fortunately, at my insistence, my husband also began to reflect on whether his own ideas were too old and narrow-minded. He realized that his selfishness and paternalism had hurt me badly, and that if I continued to rest on my laurels, our relationship would really be at an impasse.
He recognized that the family should not be run by the wife alone, but should be a shared responsibility and obligation of both husband and wife. Only when husband and wife love each other and understand each other can the family be harmonious and happy. He started to take the initiative to share household chores, take care of my in-laws, and support my career development.
I am very relieved to see this change in my husband. I know how difficult this is for a person who is deeply rooted in traditional beliefs. But it was precisely because of his willingness to let go of himself and learn humbly that our marriage was able to start anew and find a new way forward.
This experience made me realize more deeply that married life requires mutual understanding and compromise between both parties. No one is perfect, and each of us has our own shortcomings and shortcomings. The important thing is to heal each other with enough tolerance and nourish each other's lives with love.
Only in this way can the marriage be stable and far-reaching. I think my husband and I have learned a lot from this experience, our mindsets have changed dramatically, we have become wiser, more tolerant, and more aware of marriage.
It is because of this run-in that our relationship can become stronger after the storm. When I think about this, I feel blessed that we have finally found the right path to happiness.