Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
As the saying goes: "Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the whole family and harmony".
This sentence actually has two meanings, on the one hand, it means that the quality of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law directly affects the harmony of the whole family.
On the other hand, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is the most delicate and difficult relationship within the family.
When it comes to the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, many people will shake their heads and sigh. It can be said that among the many factors that affect family harmony, the "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relationship" is undoubtedly the first to bear the brunt.
But did you know that it is not impossible to improve the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, and it is not so difficult to win the favor of mother-in-law.
In fact, the secret lies in three words - being able to speak.
01
A good word, three winters are warm
Cai Kangyong said: "What kind of words you say, what kind of person you are." ”
Every word we say is actually an expression of a person's true inner feelings. Whatever you say, you are what kind of person you are.
A truly kind and wise person often knows how to "speak well".
In the community, there is such a pair of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the relationship between them is very harmonious, almost never blushing, and it is rumored to be a good story in the neighborhood.
Everyone "learned" from this mother-in-law, and she smiled and said: "My daughter-in-law here can speak, so people can listen to it comfortably, how can we quarrel?"
It turned out that every time my mother-in-law cooked, my daughter-in-law would praise: "Mom, your skills are so good, I have never eaten such a delicious meal outside." ”
The mother-in-law was praised, and she was always happy, and her enthusiasm for cooking became higher and higher.
Whenever the mother-in-law wears a new dress, the daughter-in-law will also praise the mother-in-law for her good vision: "Mom, you really look young and beautiful in this dress." ”
The mother-in-law is praised for being beautiful in her heart, and when she meets people, she praises her daughter-in-law for being sensible, filial, and hurtful.
As the saying goes: "Good words are warm in three winters, and bad words are hurtful and cold in June." ”
A word that you listen to will make the other person feel happy, and a slanderous word will make the other person disgusted with you.
Smart women know how to speak well, and they know how to speak in order to please their elders.
02
Daughters-in-law with high emotional intelligence have sweet mouths
Many people say that the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a problem for the ages. It's really tricky to deal with, and it takes a lot of time and a lot of patience on both sides for a good turn to happen.
But there is a kind of daughter-in-law, and it seems that it is much simpler for her to deal with the relationship between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, that is, a daughter-in-law with high emotional intelligence and a "sweet mouth".
In the variety show "Youth Travel", Lang Lang's wife Gina showed her high emotional intelligence.
In the show, everyone ate together, and one of the dishes was braised pork ribs, and some guests said: "This is the taste of mother." ”
At this time, Gina immediately answered and said, "That's right, it feels like a mother when you eat it." In a word, the mother-in-law smiled.
A daughter-in-law who can talk knows how to make her elders happy. Because they understand that in the marriage relationship, they are very realistic, if you are good to me, I will be good to you.
Sweeter mouth, call mom a few more times, give some gifts during the New Year's holidays, and ask your mother-in-law more about her feelings, and the relationship will go further.
Teacher Tu Lei once said: "Often the embodiment of a mother's true love for her son is to love his wife more, and when she says anything, she criticizes her son first, not her daughter-in-law." ”
It is a blessing for a daughter-in-law to meet a sensible mother-in-law. But if you meet a mother-in-law who loves to find faults, the daughter-in-law's high emotional intelligence and ability to speak is the "savior" of family harmony.
03
Although the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult, it is not unsolvable
On the Internet, I have seen such a question: What kind of people do you hate to get along with the most?
One of the highly praised answers was: I hate to be around people who are "good" at talking, because they seem to be "not talking".
In fact, in life, we all like to get along with people who "can talk", because communication is not tiring and makes people happy.
And those daughters-in-law who "can talk" are also more likely to be liked and recognized by their mothers-in-law.
My cousin is a vivid example of this.
After my cousin married into her mother-in-law's family, she had a very good relationship with her mother-in-law. One of the most important points is that my cousin is particularly "talkative". She has a sweet mouth, knows how to praise, and knows how to "show weakness" at the right time.
My cousin's mother-in-law is a retired teacher who attaches great importance to children's education, and my cousin often praises her eldest grandson in front of her mother-in-law how smart and clever she is.
My cousin also often "asked" her mother-in-law about education methods, and asked her mother-in-law to recommend relevant books to her. My cousin's mother-in-law was so "valued" by her daughter-in-law, and she was very happy, and the relationship between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was naturally very harmonious.
As the saying goes, "A word can make people laugh, and a word can make people jump." ”
The same thing, different ways of speaking, will get two completely different results.
Those "talking" daughters-in-law are not necessarily the best, nor are they necessarily the most beautiful, but they must be the most popular with mothers-in-law.
Because they understand that just the right praise and timely "show weakness" are the best ways for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to get along.
Although the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is difficult, it is not unsolvable, and its optimal solution is to "be able to speak".
As daughters-in-law, we must learn to use high emotional intelligence to deal with the relationship with our elders. Sweeten your mouth, say more "You have worked hard", and praise "You are so good", and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will not be so tricky.