The mortgage was finally repaid, and I stood at this juncture that once made me feel stressed, but an inexplicable emptiness swelled in my heart. The momentum that once drove me forward seemed to disappear in an instant, and I was like a boat that had lost its direction, drifting in the vast sea, unable to find its way forward.
Looking back, those days of working hard for the mortgage seem to have become the whole of my life. At that time, every time I went out, I would carefully calculate the route of the bus and subway, just to save the few dollars in taxi fare; at that time, every time I passed by the bubble tea shop, I couldn't help but take a few more looks, but I always turned away ruthlessly, telling myself that the money from the cup of milk tea could be used to pay off the mortgage. Now, I finally have the freedom to spend that money, but that sense of anticipation and joy is gone.
I began to wonder if the meaning of life was to pay off my mortgage, was my value reflected in the numbers and bills? I tried to find the self that I had once been passionate about life and full of hope for the future, but I found that I had disappeared before I knew it.
I started trying to replan my life and find new purpose and motivation. I started to learn to cook and try to make delicious dishes, I started to learn to paint and record the moments of life with my brush, and I started to travel to explore untouched lands. I tried to make my life more colorful, but I always felt like something was missing.
I'm starting to miss the self who worked hard for the mortgage, the hard but fulfilling self. I've come to understand that a mortgage is just a part of my life, and it doesn't define everything I am. And I shouldn't be bound by it and lose myself.
However, when I tried to find that self, I found that it had become blurred. I began to wonder if I could really get back to my old self. I began to feel lost and helpless, not knowing how to face my life in the future.
Perhaps, this is the price of growth. In the process of fighting for life, we always lose something. And those things that are lost may be the evidence of our growth. But are we really willing to lose those precious memories and feelings in order to grow?
I stood at this new starting point, looking at the road ahead, my heart full of doubts and uneasiness. I don't know what the future will bring me, and I don't know if I'll be able to face it bravely. However, I know that no matter how difficult the road ahead is, I must be brave to go forward.
Because, life is what it is, and it doesn't stop because of our hesitation and retreat. It will only keep moving forward, allowing us to grow and improve from what we have lost and what we have gained. Perhaps, this is the true meaning of life.
So, I will continue to work hard to find the true self that belongs to me. I will use my courage and perseverance to create my own wonderful life. I believe that as long as I keep moving forward, one day, I will find my true self and find the purpose that makes me full of motivation and motivation.
So, what about you? Have you ever worked hard to live? Have you ever felt empty and lost after paying off your mortgage? How will you face your life in the future? Let's think about this question together, maybe we can find more answers and strength in mutual communication and inspiration.