Before reading, I would like to remind you that this article is for informational entertainment only and should not be superstitious!
Have you heard of or experienced any strange ways to give gifts?
In fact, in our lives, there will be countless occasions for giving and receiving gifts, such as New Year's holidays, asking people to do things, etc., are inseparable from the link of gift-giving.
The origins of gift-giving can be traced back to ancient rituals, when people would offer their most valuable and respectful objects to the gods as a sign of reverence and awe.
Since then, the meaning of "li" has begun to have a material component, which can appear in the form of a thing. Gifts may also have originated from the ancient warfare of "nagong", where the vanquished regularly sent food, slaves, etc., to the conqueror as a sign of obedience and begging for shelter.
"Reciprocating gifts" is an important social principle that embodies the tradition of giving gifts and friendships to each other. It is clearly stated in the "Book of Rites: Qu Lishang": "Etiquette is still exchanged, but it is not polite to come and go, and it is not polite to come and go." ”
Strange ways to give gifts: In real life, people sometimes take some strange ways to give gifts.
For example, someone brought a box of M yogurt to beg someone to do something, only to be told that there was nothing they could do, and finally received a box of J Dian pure milk as a gift in return.
There are also people who ate a bowl of noodles at the boss's house, but accidentally lost the card containing a huge amount of money, but the boss picked it up and generously said "I gave it to you".
The old generation often said: "Thousands of miles to send goose feathers, the gift is light and affectionate." "But the way to give gifts is really a university question.
Not all gifts can convey affection, and some can even backfire and attract right and wrong.
As the old saying goes, "there are five gifts that are not given, and people dislike them", today let's talk about the five taboos of gift-giving.
First, do not give "bells" - a taboo for gifts
Well, let's be clear, Chinese culture is broad and profound, but there are also some old things that need to be kept in mind. For example, you may think that this is just a homophonic taboo, but in fact, this is a big taboo in our traditional culture.
Listen to the homonym between "sending the clock" and "sending the end", don't the words "sending the end" make people feel unlucky? Imagine that you kindly bought a beautiful bell and ran to a friend's house to congratulate them on moving to a new house. Hey, don't you do bad things with good intentions!
As Shakespeare said in Hamlet, "Pay attention to your actions, for they become habits, pay attention to your habits, because they become character, and pay attention to your character, because they determine your fate." ”
Gift-giving is also a science, you have to be careful and exquisite.
We have an old Chinese saying: "Courtesy is light and affection is heavy." "Gift-giving is not about value, it's about heart. Don't think that just because your clock is precious and beautiful will definitely express your heart.
If it reminds people of "sending off", then your gift will be counterproductive.
Besides, the ancients also warned us: "The friendship of a gentleman is as light as water." "True friendship doesn't need to be maintained by expensive gifts.
If you sincerely congratulate your friends, a cup of tea and a blessing are enough to express your heart.
"I would have turned my heart to the bright moon, but the bright moon shines on the ditch. Don't let your gift become the "ditch" that blocks the "bright moon" between you and your friends!
Second, don't send "pears" - the meaning is not good, you need to be cautious
In ancient China, gift-giving was a discipline, and the slightest carelessness could touch the sensitive points of culture.
In particular, the fruit "pear" is often regarded as an unlucky thing because of its homonym with "li". Speaking of this taboo, it reminds me of a story in "Journey to the West".
In "Journey to the West", the four Tang monks and apprentices learned scriptures from the west and went through nine hundred and eighty-one difficulties. One of the difficulties is that I met a pear tree spirit who will transform into a beautiful woman. She seduced Tang Seng with sweet pears in an attempt to sabotage their journey to learn the scriptures.
Fortunately, Sun Wukong had a sharp eye and saw through her tricks in time, so that Tang Seng was spared. Although this story is somewhat mythical, it also reflects the depth of the taboo of "pears" in ancient times.
Back to reality, there is a folk saying: "Sending pears is sending away, and friendship is scarce." That's right.
In traditional culture, "leave" represents separation and parting, and "pear" is naturally endowed with an unlucky meaning because of the homonym "leave".
People are very shy about giving pears as gifts, for fear of separation and misfortune.
Abroad, there are similar taboos. For example, in ancient Greek mythology, the parting god was the opposite of Eros, representing separation and broken love. Therefore, in ancient Greek culture, it was also considered unlucky to give pears as gifts.
Three do not send "shoes" - to avoid evil and seek auspiciousness, with far-reaching implications
How many things in ancient and modern times are laughing and talking. In the culture of gift-giving, there is a taboo that is "not giving shoes".
The reason for this is not only because of the homonym between "shoes" and "evil", but also because in traditional folk culture, shoes carry multiple complex meanings.
During the Spring and Autumn Period, there were two doctors in the Lu State, Meng Xizi and Ji Sun, who had a tense relationship due to a land dispute, and the conflict was about to escalate. In order to maintain national stability, the monarch of Lu asked Confucius to mediate. Confucius knew the truth that "the use of etiquette is precious, and harmony is precious", so he organized a grand banquet and drank ceremony, and explained in detail the etiquette norms among the princes of the Zhou Dynasty at the banquet.
During the banquet, Confucius asked both parties to relive the historical story of their ancestors' observance of etiquette and living in harmony, so as to awaken their awareness of the importance of harmonious coexistence. Subsequently, Confucius himself demonstrated how to resolve the disagreement between each other through humility and courtesy. For example, when distributing food, he deliberately asked Meng Xizi and Ji Sun to pay tribute to each other, showing the spirit of mutual respect and understanding.
Eventually, the two doctors were deeply moved by Confucius's skillful use of "rites", and they realized that their dispute was not only contrary to the principle of "rites", but also undermined the harmony and stability of the family and the country. Therefore, they decided to put aside their disputes, value peace, and jointly maintain the peace and prosperity of the country.
The ancient sage Confucius said: "The use of etiquette, harmony is precious." "The choice of gifts should focus on the harmony and auspiciousness it brings. In traditional culture, people always want to avoid evil and tend to be auspicious.
Giving shoes as a gift invisibly carries an inauspicious meaning.
In folklore, sending shoes also means "seeing off".
The ancients said: "Persuade you to drink a glass of wine, and there is no one in Yangguan in the west." "Parting is always sad, and giving shoes is easily reminiscent of a long journey, a parting, or even a life-and-death parting. This kind of implication is obviously unpopular in the traditional culture that focuses on auspiciousness and reunion.
In the folk proverb, there is also a saying that "it is better not to send shoes to send evil".
This sentence concisely and clearly expresses people's taboo and dissatisfaction with giving shoes. No matter how stylish and comfortable your shoes are, they can be a source of anxiety when they are given as gifts.
Fourth, do not send an "umbrella" - the house of parting, the taboo of emotion
Perhaps in the eyes of many people, umbrellas are indispensable and practical items in daily life, sheltering from the sun and rain, and have various functions. However, in the gift-giving culture, "umbrella" is an option that should be avoided.
It turns out that "umbrella" and "scatter" are homophonic in Chinese, and "scatter" means scattering and parting in traditional culture, so umbrellas are given a different symbolic meaning.
The ancients said: "There is no feast in the world." This sentence profoundly reveals the universality of parting, but at the same time, it also reveals people's helplessness and sorrow about parting.
In ancient times, outside the long pavilion and on the side of the ancient road, people often carried oil-paper umbrellas when they traveled, which was not only a tool for sheltering from the sun and rain, but also invisibly became a symbol of parting.
Whenever they see an umbrella, people are easy to think of the helpless separation, and endless melancholy swells up in their hearts.
The modern poet Xu Zhimo said: "I go gently, just as I come gently." "Parting is always light and heavy, it takes away people's reunion, and leaves endless thoughts.
When giving gifts, we should avoid the sensitive item of the umbrella, so as not to touch the scene and make people feel the sadness of parting.
So, when it comes to choosing a gift, how should we choose?
In fact, the ancients have already given the answer: "Sending goose feathers for thousands of miles is light and affectionate." "The value of a gift is not in whether it is expensive or not, but in the heart and emotion it carries.
An umbrella may provide shade from the sun and rain, but a carefully selected gift with a beautiful meaning can make people feel deep affection and blessings.
According to the records of "Tang Jiayan", during the Zhenguan period of the Tang Dynasty, the Yunnan Tusi Burmese clan sent an envoy to pay tribute to Taizong of the Tang Dynasty, including a special gift - a white goose. However, when the envoy finally arrived in Chang'an after a long journey and hardships, he found that the white goose had unfortunately died due to the long-distance transportation, leaving only a white goose feather.
The envoy was heartbroken and feared that he would not be able to complete his mission, but considering that this white goose represented the loyalty and admiration of the Yunnan border region to the Tang Dynasty, he resolutely decided to present this goose feather to Tang Taizong. The envoy sincerely stated to Tang Taizong the difficulties along the way and the deep friendship and respect behind this goose feather.
Tang Taizong was deeply moved after hearing this, not only did not blame the messenger, but praised him for his loyalty and bravery, thinking that although this gift is light, it carries a heavy and incomparable affection, as the so-called "thousands of miles to send goose feathers, the gift is light and affectionate". Since then, the story has been widely circulated and has become a great story of praise for sincere friendship and deep affection.
Five do not send "singular" - good things come in pairs, happy and auspicious
Under the influence of traditional culture, our Chinese nation has always liked to regard good things in pairs, symmetry and balance as a symbol of beauty.
In the etiquette of gift-giving, sending even numbers has also become an unwritten rule, which means that good things come in pairs, auspicious wishes, and convey people's good wishes for a happy life.
Speaking of this custom, there is actually a warm little story behind it.
Legend has it that during the Jin Dynasty, there was a filial son named Wang Xiang, his mother was seriously ill, and the doctor said that a pair of carp was needed as a medicine. Wang Xiang was not afraid of the cold, lying on the ice and begging for carp, and finally moved the heavens and the earth, the ice cracked, and two carps jumped out of it.
This story later evolved into the idiom of "lying on the ice and begging for carp", which also implies that good things need to appear in pairs to bring the greatest auspiciousness.
There are also praises for even numbers in ancient poems, such as "two white egrets forage for food, and two or two yellow orioles sing green willows", which depicts a harmonious and happy picture. And the proverb "a single tree does not make a forest, a single string is difficult to make a sound" emphasizes the importance of double numbers.
In modern literary works, there is no shortage of beautiful descriptions of even numbers, for example, Qian Zhongshu once wrote in "The Siege of the City": "Marriage is a besieged city, people outside the city want to enter, people in the city want to come out, only if both people want to stay in the city, the city will not collapse." This also hints at the importance of the double number in married life.
Returning to the topic of gift-giving, if we choose to give odd-numbered gifts, I am afraid that it will leave people with the impression of loneliness and loneliness, which is obviously contrary to the warmth and blessings we want to convey.
When choosing gifts, we should put a little more thought into choosing items that come in pairs.
For example, a pair of exquisite tea sets, a pair of cute dolls or a pair of auspicious ornaments, etc., these can make the recipient feel your intentions and blessings.
"Thousands of miles of goose feathers are not light, and silk and satin are not precious. ”
When giving gifts, we might as well think more about this poem, choose gifts with sincere hearts, and let each gift become a bridge to convey friendship.
Avoid touching these taboos of gift-giving, and let the gift truly become a medium to express blessings and hearts.
In this way, our gifts can not only convey deep affection, but also make the recipient feel our intentions and taste.