The film "Xifuhui" is the work of Chinese director Wang Ying, the film is adapted from Tan Enmei's novel of the same name, mainly about the twists and turns of life of four women who Chinese mainland after moving to the United States, and including the various emotional collisions between them and their American-born daughters, is a tear-jerking film that can move countless people.
Focusing on the family story of four Chinese mothers and daughters, the respective experiences of these families are described, and in the film, parents will have various conflicts and conflicts with their respective daughters. There may be culture, language, and various generational gaps, but in any case, it cannot stop the affection between mother and daughter.
< h1 class = "pgc-h-arrow-right" > four pairs of families who suffered</h1>
1 Aunt Lindo and Wei Wei Li
Aunt Lindo:
She was a bitter girl from an early age, and because her family was very poor, her mother married her to a boy from a large family as a wife when she was only five years old. Her mother also always saw her as someone else's child.
When she married into a large family, because her husband could not get her pregnant, which led to her being often bullied by her mother-in-law, she had no position in this family.
One day she finally had enough of this life, and accidentally found the maid pregnant with the coachman's child outside the window, and she took advantage of her mother-in-law's superstitious weakness to tell her that the child carried by the maid was her son's, and the mother-in-law believed that the maid married her son, and she was freed from then on.
Later, she came to the United States to get married and gave birth to a daughter, Vivi, who she regarded as a pearl in her hand, but the mother and daughter were always contradictory, especially when the daughter wanted to get married, Aunt Lindo was not happy.
She is a very shrewd woman in the play.
Vivi lily:
She is the daughter of Aunt Lindo and has been very intelligent since she was a child, which can be seen from her chess playing, and she always wins the game.
But what disgusted her was that whenever she won a chess game, her mother always liked to take her around to show off, not to mention that this was my daughter, which made her feel ashamed, she said to her mother: "If you like to show off so much, why don't you play with others?" "After that day she had a falling out with her mother and ran away from home.
When she returned that day, she told her mother that she would never play chess again, and tried to force her parents to compromise with her in this way, but her mother's attitude surprised her and she didn't care whether she played chess or not. In the end, it was Vivi li who compromised with her mother, hoping to get her mother's forgiveness with her weakness, but who knew that her mother criticized her for not having the determination to do things, one moment after another.
Her mother's words made Vivi li lose confidence in playing chess, and she failed to play chess as her mother said. Her mother became the master of all her choices in life, dominating all her choices.
As she grew older, she wanted more and more to get rid of her mother's control, and she secretly fell in love with foreigners that her mother did not like, which resulted in strong opposition from her mother, and the contradiction between mother and daughter broke out again. At Vivian's wedding, the mother and daughter clashed again over their hair.
In the end, Vivi li understood her mother, and it turned out that their relationship was like this, caring about each other and being critical of each other at the same time.
Analysis: Aunt Lindo's control over her daughter comes from her mother's abandonment of her, she never understands why her mother used to abandon her, this is the most painful place for her growing up, and it is precisely because of this that she will firmly grasp her daughter Wei Weili, because she does not want to be like her mother. For Wei Weili, she feels that she is very smart, even more than her mother, she can completely not listen to her mother's words, and dominate her own life. But this seems to the mother to be an escape, and she will never allow her daughter to do this.
Revelation: There are many women like Aunt Lindo in today's society, they always want to control their children all the time, a large part of the reason is because they lack of fatherly or maternal love in childhood, so they want to give their children more love, too much love becomes a kind of control, they are most afraid of the child does not listen to them, which is a big thing in their eyes, but also a kind of rebellion and betrayal of her.
In fact, in the family relationship, you should never use love to catch the child to death, such a result will only be that the tighter you grasp, the more the child wants to escape from you, the real love is to give the child a certain freedom, so that she can really let go of herself. When the child is just born, you should give her more love, the more tightly you hold her at this time, the safer she is, and when she grows up, then you must learn to separate from her, and the more complete the separation, the more perfect it is.
2 Warbler Aunt and Li Na
When she was young, Aunt Warbler fell in love with a playboy and the two of them got married, and after the marriage, Aunt Warbler thought she could live a happy life. But the reality is always so cruel, her husband still keeps messing with other women after marriage, and once insulted Aunt Yingying in front of other women.
All this made Aunt Yingying very painful, but she did not dare to resist, and finally one day she drowned her own child with all the pain.
Li na:
She is the daughter of Aunt Warbler and is very independent and self-reliant in character. She fell in love with her boss, and the two eventually married, but what made her most intolerable was that her miserly husband always had to deal with her when he paid, even if it was a small matter, which made Li Na and her husband's marriage shattered.
Her mother, Yingying, told her daughter one day about her past and conveyed her heart to her daughter: "I would rather leave the man I love than lose my dignity in his humiliation." ”
Analysis: The source of Aunt Yingying's pain is because she suffered never-ending humiliation brought to her by her husband, she was influenced by Chinese traditions, and women should obey their husbands in marriage, and they should not fight back and scold. This made her husband more indulgent to her, and the humiliation was worse than ever. But Aunt Yingying never wanted to leave this man, and one of the main reasons was that she loved this man too much, because loving her became despicable, which made her heart extremely contradictory and painful, and under the long-term backlog, it became twisted and dark, and finally she chose to destroy her and her husband's children.
Li Na seemed to be like this, facing all kinds of humiliation brought to her by her miserly husband, she swallowed her anger for many years because she loved the man in front of her.
Revelation: In marriage and family, women must not choose to tolerate their lover infinitely because they love the man in front of them too much, your tolerance will only make the other party indulge their behavior more, because love will become despicable This is the most undesirable, we must know how to resist.
For example, in today's materialistic era, there are more and more extramarital affairs, encountering this kind of thing must not be because of too much love for each other and give up their bottom line indefinitely, that will only be more indulgent to each other, the other party will look down on you more, the insults you are subjected to will be more and more serious, at this time the best way is to take up arms to resist, even if you finally choose to leave the other party.
In marriage, never turn yourself into a lowly wretched creature because of too much love.
3 Aunt Anmei and Li Na
Aunt Amme: When she was young, she often witnessed her mother being expelled from the house by her grandmother and uncle, and Aunt Ammy was indoctrinated with her grandmother and uncle to despise her mother.
Later, the mother returned home to visit her grandmother, who was seriously ill, and cut the flesh of her body to the grandmother to eat. Taking advantage of her mother's return, Aunt Anmei left with her mother. Although her grandmother and uncle taught her to hate her mother as a child, she never hated it.
Aunt Anmei finally learned that her mother had been forced to rape by Wu Qing, the son of a large family, and then gave birth to a child before she was forced to marry him. Aunt Anmei's mother became the fourth aunt after marrying over, and her status in the Wu family was very low.
Later, in order to save her daughter, she swallowed raw opium, and her sacrifice was indeed exchanged for a position in the Wu family, and Wu Qing helped Aunt Anmei's mother to be the only big wife in the main room, and gave her daughter to Aunt Anmei.
Aunt Ammy learned that day to shout out before an unjust fate.
She is the daughter of Aunt Amy, and eventually married a rich man she liked, and in the days after the marriage she lived very unhappily, she did not dare to express any opinions at home, and finally her husband wanted to divorce her because of cheating.
At the last moment of the divorce, she heard the story told to him by her mother, and finally shouted out her heart: "You get out!" You can't take away this house, you can't take my children. It was the shouting that saved her marriage with her husband.
Analysis and enlightenment: Li Na, like most women today, is mainly husband-oriented in everything and dare not express her own thoughts and opinions, which is typical of traditional Chinese women.
In the family, if one party has too much right to speak and one party does not have any right to speak, then the party that is doomed to have no right to speak will eventually be thrown far away. Women in all marriages must not be without a voice.
04 Su Hejun
sue:
Su had to abandon her two daughters because of illness during the war in China, and later gave birth to your daughter named Jun when she came to the United States, and she pinned all her hopes on her daughter, but what she did not expect was that the greater her hope for her daughter, the deeper the contradiction between her daughter and her.
Jun: She is a child born in the United States by Jun, she has been very ordinary since she was a child, she does not have the intelligence and talent of Vivi, and most importantly, she always wants to prove her ability, but she is always hit.
What she couldn't stand most was the blow and insult to her from her mother Sue, once her copywriting was returned by Vivi li's company, and Vivi li said that her copywriting style was not what they wanted. She quarreled with Vivi li because of this, but her mother said that she could not learn such a thing as laughing at her style, which made her extremely painful.
But when her mother Sue left, she finally understood her mother's good intentions.
Analysis: The root of Sue's pain lies in the fact that she personally abandoned her two children, which made her unable to forgive herself, she felt that she was not worthy of being a mother of a child, in fact, sometimes the insult to the child was the insult to herself. She pinned all her hopes on her daughter to make up for the debts of her other two children, but it was these invisible pressures that made Jun breathless.
Revelation: Many parents will put their unfulfilled dreams from their youth on their children to complete, which is not advisable, because the child has his own choices, and you have no right to interfere with her dreams.
The families in the film fled to the United States because of their painful experience in China, but one thing they still can't change is that they still have some traditional Chinese culture in their bones, and they still jump out from time to time to affect their lives. Sometimes these cultures can form a conflict that affects their relationship with their children, but nothing can stop the mother-daughter relationship.