We believe that counseling is a sacred profession in some way. Counselors are invited to reach out to the dark corners of one's life, ask questions that are often overlooked, and have the opportunity to be part of the healing journey of others' hearts.
However, as consultants, we also have limitations, and we are "ordinary people" like everyone else. Here are 10 things your counselor might not tell you, but you want to know.
1. I look forward to and am happy from the bottom of my heart for every consultation you make
Before I became a counselor, I often worried that my counselor would treat me as an emotional burden, because there are so many things to talk about, to listen to, and to receive every emotion (and many negatives) in every consultation.
At first I had a hard time believing that all this was true: was there really someone who wanted to talk to me and listen to everything about me?
But then after becoming a counselor, I found myself excited before each session began, flipping through my notes and doing all kinds of preparations. Most of the counselors I know genuinely appreciate their work.
Spending time on yourself is something that takes courage and strength. It's great that you've chosen to take this step, and we're excited to be on this journey with you.
2. I guess there are some things you didn't tell me
I often think that the counselor knows my situation better than I do.
While this is sometimes true, as a counsellor I am more aware that the effectiveness of counselling depends largely on the client's willingness to disclose themselves.
Counseling requires an unusual level of emotional intimacy. We have no right to know anything that you are not ready to reveal.
Almost everyone has secrets. You may have some past trauma that you haven't been able to reveal to your counsellor, but we hope that over time, your comfort in counselling will rise and you will be willing to talk about it little by little.
3. We want our visitors to attend counselling on time When I was a teenager in counselling, I sometimes put a counsellor pigeon, and I often didn't understand why the counsellor would contact my mom about it, I thought they would like the extra time.
However, most counselors take their work seriously, and treatment is only effective when it happens. The counsellor is really concerned about your healing and expects you to attend on time. If there is any obstacle, such as if you feel that the consultation is not relevant to you, we want to know that.
There are a lot of people who need help, and missing a consultation can hurt not only the visitor, but others who may need that time slot.
4. We are no more "enlightened" than the average person, and we have mastered any magical magic
Counselors, like everyone else, are "human" and do not possess any enlightening magic. We sometimes feel scared, sometimes stressed. The Counselor may also be an ordinary mortal you will meet at night.
What we offer is listening, empathy, and psychological intervention techniques that have been trained for many years. There is no doubt that the means are professional. But in the final analysis, life is like a reverse journey, and you and I are both travelers.
5. I would appreciate it if you could "give honest feedback".
When I was younger, when a counselor asked me a question, I often assumed that there was a "correct" answer, or that they wanted to hear a certain answer. I was too distrustful of my counselor.
Most counsellors ask questions like, "How did this consultation feel to you?" Many clients may be pressured to save face and say "good", but if there is anything bad, they want you to tell us. We don't need a five-star review.
Studies have shown that the "therapeutic alliance" between the client and the counselor is the best predictor of treatment outcomes. It influences the progression of treatment more than the treatment used. If we are consulting for you, we need to know how things are going.
6. The counselor may also be receiving treatment If a person has not been to the other side, how can the person take you to the other side?
Most counselors see their own counsellor (or have done counseling before).
In the early years, a counsellor's personal difficulties would be seen as a "disadvantage". Today, we can see the power of self-cultivation counselors, and we are more aware of the reality that "all people have struggles." Ignoring one's own challenges and issues is self-deception.
Counselors have also experienced their own battles. It is because of their own experiences that they have given them more empathy and insight that they can provide in counseling.
7. Say it and you may not believe it, but your treatment is worth more than the money you pay
Unfortunately, the cost is a common challenge when it comes to counseling. Sometimes, people give up on treatment because they can't afford to pay for it.
When we encounter financial difficulties that prevent us from continuing to counsel, we would also like you to discuss with us so that we can discuss available resources and solutions.
8. Counseling goals & treatment plans often change as counseling progresses
Effective counseling is goal-oriented. Studies have shown that clients are more likely to enter counseling when "goal-setting" is part of treatment (Sheeran et al., 2007).
Sometimes, as the consultation progresses, new goals emerge. The counselor will discuss with you the changes in your counseling goals and examine those goals that you have completed or are no longer relevant to your treatment.
9. The consultant will do quite a bit of "behind-the-scenes" work
As a former client, I don't think the counsellor would ever think of me between treatments. How could they have thought of me? They must have had a lot of visits.
Counsellors may not always think about you outside of counseling, but most counsellors do put effort into preparing on a regular basis.
Just as a counselor may leave homework after a consultation, they will also take the time to hone their skills and improve themselves, participate in various trainings, read, and consult with their fellow counselors so that they can perform better in the subsequent consultations.
10. If you have any questions, just ask a counselor
When I was counseling for teenagers, I had a lot of questions to ask the counselor, but perhaps because of "politeness", I didn't tell them. Instead, just make assumptions in your head on your own. I now recognize that this can be detrimental to the treatment.
Decades ago, counselors were advised not to reveal themselves. It is believed that any form of self-disclosure can lead to a slippery slope of counseling and a situation of ethical concern. Nowadays, the consensus is that self-disclosure is permissible when it is for the benefit of the visitor. If you have questions about the counsellor or your counseling, please feel free to ask. If there are questions we can't answer, it's our responsibility to draw the lines.
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This article is compiled, original link: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/beyond-mental-health/202403/10-things-your-therapist-might-not-tell-you Author: Jennifer Gerlach Compilation & Editor: Birdman Editor: Han Bing