-01
Déjà vu, pouring as before
Do you believe it? There is a magnetic field between people.
The first meeting between Jia Baoyu and Lin Daiyu in "Dream of Red Mansions" is the best interpretation.
Jia Baoyu said:
"I've seen this sister before"
Lin Daiyu said:
"It's so strange, it's like I've seen it somewhere."
I have never met, but I seem to know each other;
I didn't have much intersection before, but after a short contact, I found that it was like a "long-term friendship" with the other party.
Déjà vu has a concept in psychology: "déjà vu".
For example, you are sure that you have never been to this place, but when you see the picture in front of you, your subconscious mind has similar memories.
The same is true in the relationship between the sexes.
The first contact with the other party is like an old friend who has not seen each other for many years;
Looking at each other, I always feel that the other party is very familiar, and the familiarity and similarity in the dark make you have a strong sense of security for the person in front of you.
Even if you are alone with the other person, you are not worried about being cheated, this trust is a signal from the subconscious.
This kind of fit becomes stronger after you come into contact and communicate;
You even have the absurd thought that "this person is the partner I have been waiting for, looking for".
Acquaintance with Jun Chu is like returning to an old friend.
In fact, there is another basis for judgment:
When you are about to separate from the other person, you feel all kinds of reluctance and pain in your heart, which means that you have fallen in love with the other person.
You meet many, many people every day, but none of them can touch your heart;
Until one day, you meet each other, and the trajectory of your life changes completely;
The other person sees you that others can't see, and touches the deepest part of your heart;
Thus, love is born.
-02
Empathy and redemption
One of the embodiment criteria of true love: empathy.
You say, "I'm so sad, I'm sad for no reason, nothing happened, I'm just depressed".
He will pour you a cup of tea, prepare you some pastries, and then sit next to you to accompany you.
You say, "This movie is so good, can you understand the shock and joy?"
He said, "Although I haven't seen it, but you said that, I think we should watch it again right away." ”
In previous articles, I mentioned more than once:
In contemporary times, empathy is an "extremely scarce" value.
It's rare to find someone who is willing to empathize with you and try to understand you and hold your emotions.
What are the characteristics of a relationship with strong empathy ability?
First, be able to perceive each other's emotional changes and respond to them
Second: not to be a person who spoils the fun, but to catch the joy or childishness of the other person
Third: Be able to understand and read the other person's needs, embarrassments or expectations
Fourth: always be able to empathize with yourself and not think about yourself selfishly
Fifth: Replace blame with praise and sarcasm with appreciation
The above characteristics, can have more than 3 couples, is true love.
Another quality of true love is "redemption."
Two like-minded people redeem each other in each other's worlds;
This kind of salvation is not salvation, nor is it change, but a consolation.
We are all "sick in our hearts", longing to be loved, needed, recognized, and to be seen in our truest hearts;
When you meet that person, you are the ones who redeem each other in this world.
-03
Relative possession, absolute freedom
Love is never narrow, extreme, extreme possession and bondage.
True love is never about putting a bird in a cage, but about letting the bird fly in what it is good at.
You all have your own careers, lives and social interactions;
You love each other deeply, but you never interfere with each other's freedom and independence.
You stand in your respective positions and run to the end of your love.
The end of a relationship is marriage, but the end of your life is not marriage;
True love is never about possession, but about giving each other freedom.
What does bundled love look like?
Trying to tie the other person firmly to your side and put love in a cage;
interfere with all the decisions of the other party and hinder the other party's career and life planning;
You want to break the other person's thinking and ask the other person to live according to your will.
More extremely: control all the trajectory of each other's lives, including socializing and dressing up.
The listener is suffocated, the listener weeps, and the bundled love is not love, but tragedy.
A good relationship has always been relative possession and absolute freedom.
Topic:
Have you ever met true love?
Author He Suohuan:
Focus on the analysis of gender emotion, marriage and family, character growth, original family, etc., follow me to bring you more knowledge.