In the TV series "Do You Know If You Should Be Green, Fat, Red and Thin", there is such a sentence in life: "When you get along with others, you ultimately have to rely on the lowest place, the lowest place of conduct." ”
The "lowest point" mentioned here actually refers to our personal bottom line. If we can accept and tolerate this bottom line, then our relationship will be fine. However, if our bottom line is exceeded, then our relationship can easily unravel. It's important to keep the bottom line consistent.
If you want to go long with someone, you need to pay attention not only to their conditions or benefits to you, but also to their character and morality.
These are the cornerstones and stability of the relationship.
Typically, there are three types of people who are prone to betrayal of feelings, and they share some common characteristics. If you can't identify them properly, you may find it too late when they develop intimacy with others. It is important to understand and identify the characteristics of these people.
At that point, you may not be able to bear such a cruel reality because you have already suffered the pain of betrayal.
One: dissatisfied with the existing relationship, will not think about solving the problem, will only go outside of marriage to seek stimulation
Many people have unhappy marriages, but they often don't want to face problems and instead seek out affairs for fresh excitement. This practice of self-paralysis will only make the situation worse. We should actively address marital problems instead of using extramarital affairs to cover up internal problems. Only when we face up to the problem and are willing to change can we truly have a happy marriage.
In Maugham's novel The Veil, Katie is portrayed very vividly. Her image is impressive.
Katie and Walter's marriage came in a hurry. At that time, Katie's sister was about to enter the marriage hall with her long-term boyfriend, and Katie, as an older sister, did not want to marry later than her sister, so she decided not to wait for the appearance of love, but to find a man with superior conditions through introduction. Such a decision was certainly not a whim, but in Katie's opinion, she did not want to fall behind her sister, so she made a brave choice. Of course, marriage isn't just about being in a hurry, and now Katie has discovered that Walter is not only a good husband, but also a person to trust and rely on. Their marriage may have started in a hurry, but their love was all the more precious because of it.
Walt's family background, stable job and good moral character made him the ideal blind date in Katie's mind. Eventually, Katie made the decision to marry Walter.
As soon as Walter met Katie, he fell deeply in love with her. In their few time together, his feelings for Katie grew deeper and deeper.
After getting married, Katie gradually discovered the good in her husband, but this only made her regard him as a friend. The love that Katie expects is passionate and passionate, but her husband Walter is always gentle and calm, and does not bring her surprises and small romances. This made Katie think that he was a very bland person, lacking in fun.
Katie's marriage has been in a lull period, and she gradually becomes unbearable and wants to find some external stimulation to fill the emptiness within her.
At that point in time, she met Townsend, a man of great humor.
At that time, Katie didn't realize that the reason why Townsend behaved so elegantly, wittily, and romantically in front of her was not actually out of sincere love, but that he was tired of the dullness of married life, and like Katie, he sought change and met each other by chance. This happens to allow them to build a relationship that is difficult to part with in helping each other, understanding and supporting.
When Katie and Townsend meet, they have a pleasant conversation. Katie senses a match for Townsend's soul and soon invites him home. The two are as fierce as dry wood and fire, relying on each other and supporting each other, and they are very enthusiastic.
Katie, who is greedy for love, decides to divorce her husband and end this uneventful marriage. She is eager to start a new marriage journey anew.
Townsend didn't make the same choice. He knew his heart very well, and he was not fooled by those extramarital affairs, and even if he liked those women again, he knew that they were just a pastime. He wouldn't put his family in trouble for them.
By the time Katie finally understands the truth of the relationship in front of her, it is too late, and she has already ruthlessly hurt her husband, who loves her deeply.
Katie is the typical type of woman who is unhappy with her marriage and seeks thrills, but this behavior often puts people hurt. Such women are often too naïve, and it is inevitable that they will end up in trouble.
2: The moral bottom line is extremely low, only thinking about pleasure and not wanting to take any responsibility
If those who are unhappy with their marriages want to find an outlet simply because they have been repressed for too long, then this situation is more due to character issues.
Those with low moral boundaries often lack self-restraint and shame, pursue only short-term pleasures, and are unwilling to take any responsibility. This behavior not only affects oneself but also causes harm to others. We should actively advocate moral awareness, strengthen people's moral concepts, and make society more harmonious and beautiful.
In the novel The Veil, Townsend is a typical flowery man. Despite Katie's love for him, he just treats her as an ordinary lover and will not divorce her for her sake. He can't let go of Katie's love, this kind of man will be hurt the more he loves.
Three: Worship money and vanity, and sacrifice your self-esteem for the sake of profit
There is also a group of people who are shrewd selfishists who use their strengths to find shortcuts in life, sacrificing some of their self-esteem to get what they want. Although there are certain moral problems with this kind of person, there is also a necessity for their existence in the real society. After all, with limited time and resources, it's important to get what you need.
She was willing to be a mistress with an old man who could be her grandfather, just to earn enough money. She believes that her youth is valuable, and although it is difficult to maintain, why can't she make the most of it? After all, sooner or later it will disappear.
If someone is vain and greedy for money, he is likely to give up his self-esteem in order to get something. Such a person is shrewd in calculation and vicious, and is not suitable for associating with him.
The above three types of people, whether they are lovers or friends, are not the best choice. If you meet them in your life, be sure to be vigilant and don't allow yourself to give your heart and get hurt. In socializing, be sure to keep your eyes open and choose your friends and partners carefully to enjoy a better life.