Lead
As soon as she got home in the evening, Happy Mom said that her former colleague's child had been diagnosed with depression and had been advised to go home to recuperate.
This child has been seen by Happy Dad before, a very quiet and thoughtful little girl, and there is a kind of light that belongs to young people in every gesture. It stands to reason that she is already a child in the second year of junior high school, and she is too busy to study every day, so why is she depressed?
To be honest, although in recent years, the age of children who are depressed has shown a trend of getting younger and smaller, and the number has also shown an increasing trend. But as far as Happy Dad's own feelings are concerned, there are still very few, at least he has not found any children with similar problems around him.
And Happy Dad had similar thoughts to everyone before, now the children eat well, dress well, sleep well, have fun well, say that depression is hypocritical, the children of the previous generation, not enough to eat, not warm, no entertainment, still not healthy, have grown up, I haven't seen them say anything about depression, what they say about psychological problems.
However, the more we find it impossible, the more likely it is to happen.
Most of the depression in children is related to parents
There are many targeted studies at home and abroad on why children are depressed, and the reasons are also very complex, and dozens of pages and dozens of pages of conclusions are often made. Happy Dad summed it up, mainly these two reasons related to Mom and Dad.
The first is that I don't treat children as human beings.
Some parents have a very subtle attitude towards their children, and they can be summed up in one sentence, they don't treat their children as human beings.
For example, I never ask my children what they think, and it is up to my parents to make decisions about everything, even if my children cry and shout that I don't want to, for example, everything must be done according to the way drawn by my parents, and once there is a deviation or a bad attitude, they will be beaten or scolded, for example, they have too unrealistic expectations for their children, and once they can't do it, they will be treated roughly, etc.
To be honest, a child is also a flesh-and-blood individual with his own thoughts, especially adolescent children, who have their own ideas and hope to be able to do according to their own ideas in many things, even if they do not get the expected results. But isn't this kind of attempt the only way for children to begin to integrate into society and experience this society?
The rough attitude of Mom and Dad will not only make them suffer a serious psychological blow, but also make them have an extremely strong rebellious mentality, and they will deliberately do everything against their parents, and the more things that Mom and Dad do not allow, the more they will do it. And the more severe the rebellion, the closer it will be to depression.
The second is to treat children too seriously.
Another reason is that parents treat their children too seriously.
This type of parents are quite concerned about their children, and they are meticulous about their children's eating, drinking, and Lazar, and they almost take care of everything for their children; they also interfere in their children's lives, and if they have conflicts with their classmates, they immediately participate in helping them solve them, and if the child is criticized by the teacher, they immediately contact the teacher, hoping that the teacher can be more patient with the child, etc.
Children who grow up in this environment are really like flowers in a greenhouse, once they are invaded by the cold snap of the outside world, there is a high probability that they will catch a cold and will not be able to afford to get sick. Over time, it will evolve into depression.
Therefore, the so-called child depression, of course, has the child's own problems, but the biggest problem is still in the parents, only by understanding this truth, can we correctly look at the child suffering from depression, in order to really help the child out of the gray sky, to meet their own life.
Children who put these 3 sentences on their lips, please pay more attention to them
For moms and dads, once the child often has these 3 sentences on his lips, he should pay attention to it, because it is likely to be a precursor to the child's depression.
"I'm so annoying"
The words that each of us utters are not for nothing, they are a projection of our own inner world.
Like saying that you are annoying, it means that there is too much helplessness and helplessness in your heart, and all kinds of causes and effects are like a ball of yarn, deeply entangled together, which cannot be solved or separated, and the attitude of others wraps this thread tightly......
Children who often put this sentence on their lips may have encountered a problem that they can't solve, and their emotions have been restrained and unable to break free, and being in such a low mood for a long time will make the child sensitive and fragile, until they fall into the abyss of depression.
"I'm so tired"
The phrase tired is not only a physical manifestation, but also a psychological problem.
Happy mother's colleague's child, for a period of time, always said that he was very tired, he couldn't be interested in anything, and when he slept, he seemed to have another self, no matter how long he slept and got up, he was still tired.
At that time, the happy mother's colleague just thought that the child's study pressure was a little too high, so he comforted him casually.
In fact, a child's routine reflects their biological clock, which in turn reflects their mood, hormone levels, metabolic levels, and mental problems. If a child has frequent insomnia and always says that he is very tired, it is easy to encounter something that he cannot solve, and he falls into a quagmire that he can't get out of, and if no one helps, it is easy to evolve into depression.
"I'm so useless"
If the child's mantra is made into a depression level scale, the first two sentences are only the early stage of depression, and if there is no effective guidance and targeted help, the child may gradually evolve into depression. Then the phrase "I'm too useless" means that the child is already depressed, but the degree is not yet up to the requirements of the disease.
Psychologically speaking, when a person lacks interest in anything, has no confidence in doing anything, and always denies his words for no reason, this is one of the manifestations of depression. After all, when a person devalues himself to the extreme, he will spontaneously develop a disgust for himself, and he will fall into a strange circle of self-doubt and cannot extricate himself.
If your child often says similar things and has some unusual behaviors, please pay attention to it, stop thinking that the child's request for help is a disease-free moan, stop thinking that the child's behavior is hypocritical, please face up to the child's behavior, understand the child's predicament, and really reach out to help them.
What should mom and dad do
When a child becomes depressed, it is not necessarily all the fault of the parents, but it must be the responsibility of the parents.
For example, you can change your attitude.
To be honest, depression is a very common emotion, and only those children who are not relieved and have been hurt will eventually evolve into depression. In the early stage of depression, children who are relieved and helped will not enter the later stage.
For moms and dads, it is necessary to identify the context in which the child says these words, whether they really have a problem that they can't solve, or just a short period of bad mood, and give targeted help, do what they can do, and seek professional treatment institutions to complete what they can't.
Only when parents pay attention to it, can children gradually get better.
For example, it can help children relax their minds
Today's children are generally under great pressure and are prone to problems in their mentality.
Therefore, parents can properly help their children relax their minds, they can chat with them, talk about interesting things that happened at school, talk about interesting books they have read recently, talk about their views on certain things, talk about their expectations for the future, etc., and can also take their children out for a walk, now is the season of spring flowers, go out to breathe fresh air, look at the budding flowers, smell the fragrance of flowers with earthy smell, etc., are helping them relax their minds.
If you have a good mentality, depression will naturally disappear.
For example, children can be accepted
For depressed children, what they are most afraid of hearing is denial, and what they want to hear most is acceptance.
The acceptance here does not mean simply saying "It's okay, I know, next time will be better" or something like that, which seems useful but actually doesn't help the child, but should really accept the child, understand their situation, recognize their current situation, and say that no matter what, I will stand with the child and face the difficulties in the future.
This kind of acceptance from loved ones is one of the most powerful weapons in dealing with depression.
At last
I hope that every child, when they are at a low point in their lives, can get the care of their parents, and I hope that every father and mother can find out the strangeness of their children, and hope that children and parents can grow up together and accompany each other to live the most desirable way. #头条创作挑战赛#
Text: Happy Dad's Diary The picture source is the Internet, if there is any infringement, please delete the private message, thank you~