There is a saying: Blowing out other people's lamps will not make you brighter, block the path of others, and will not make you go further.
The joys and sorrows of human beings are not the same, and judging others from one's own standpoint is inherently full of prejudice and arbitrariness.
Over-evaluating or trying to argue for whether you are right or wrong, and stepping on someone will not only leave trouble for the other person, but also make yourself depressed and angry.
In the face of different opinions, the best thing to do is not to judge or remain appreciative, and try to shine your own light.
I used to be a person with a very distinct personality, with only right and wrong in my eyes, only black and white, only yes or no, and there was no room for sand in my eyes.
At that time, I thought that such a self was a person with a distinct personality, insisted on himself, and was brave enough to say "no" to unreasonable things.
Later, I found out that blushing and arguing for you right or wrong is a very immature behavior, and it has also lost the dignity it should have.
If you don't agree with others, if you don't understand the hearts of others, you should also keep your mouth.
Even if there are different opinions, you can refute others from your own point of view, which is doomed to be fruitless. It's more of a bore for yourself or shooting yourself in the foot.
Gentlemen are harmonious but different, and those who disagree do not have to prove that "I am right".
When I realize these truths, I should calm down first when I encounter some things, let reason return first, and then face and deal with things.
Follow a principle: don't say anything if you can, don't say it, don't say too much negative even if you do, and don't say anything that makes others unhappy.
Try not to let some of your casual words interfere with the joy and happiness of others, and try not to spoil the happiness of others.
There is a point of view in psychology that everyone wants to refute others in everything and wants to highlight and prove their own opinions, which can only show that the heart is afraid and uneasy, and it is a manifestation of inner insecurity.
And the greatest friendship of adults is to respect each other's ideas and accept differences.
Yes, silent silence gives the other party just the right sense of security, not only controls their own mouths, but also does not block the other party's happiness, what a good thing.
But I used to be a person who liked "bars", and when I encountered people and things I didn't like, I would unconsciously "label" them, either disdainful or extremely repulsive.
Anyway, all kinds of distrust and laziness to deal with it, sometimes it is cynicism, and sometimes it is secretly thinking in my heart: Hmph, it's not a routine to inspire people's fear and exaggerate the facts.
Even if I'm right, there's no need to go-for-tat. Why do you want to do things that are not good for yourself and make you angry?
This truth is very simple, but it has made me take a detour for N years, which is probably the weakness of human nature.
I understand everything, but to truly do it, we need to constantly cultivate, reflect, summarize and reshape.
It only takes a few minutes to understand a truth, but it is quite difficult to integrate knowledge and practice into one's daily life.
Until I understood: those who pull you down are not intentional, it's just that they want to cover up too much. And you want to pull others down, but you just don't want to admit defeat.
In fact, there is nothing to be embarrassed about admitting that you failed and admitting that you are cowardly.
Xiaoxiao said a very philosophical thing to me: as long as you are not embarrassed, it is only others who are embarrassed.
Children know that as long as you don't care, then no one can hurt your truth.
Denying others does not make you unique and better, but highlights your own inferiority complex and insecurity.
So, instead of denying others, I pointed out the problem when I had a problem, or I was silent after pointing out the problem once or twice, and the other person did not understand it.
People cannot be woken up, only by pain. Even if you are well-intentioned, you can't reason with others again and again, retreat to your own position, it's a good thing to listen to it, and there are other people's reasons for not listening.
Everyone has their own way of choosing, and everyone has their own view of right and wrong, right and wrong. No one is absolutely right, and no one is absolutely wrong.
Mark Levi said: You can't interfere in the other person's life, even if it is for the other person's good, because this is his life.
There is never the best choice in life, only good enough choices.
Everyone's choice, for the choice that is best for them based on the moment, at least at a certain stage.
And what we have to do is respect and understanding, not try to correct other people's mistakes. Even if you are well-intentioned, those trial and error need to be done by the other party themselves.
And parents educate their children in the same way, you can't because of your own life experience, you can't repeatedly tell your children that this can't be done, that it's not safe, it's wrong, that's right.
In particular, parents should not use "for the child" to make many decisions and choices for their children, allow their children to do what they want to try, allow their children to make mistakes, and allow their children to follow their own path in life.
Time is long, the pace is hurried, do not belittle others, do not criticize differences, maintain respect and appreciation, can be kind reminders but do not interfere too much, can be discussed but not arbitrarily denied.
Learn to be kind quietly, keep your mouth shut, don't deny the light of others, and strive to shine your own light, which is good enough for yourself.