One of the letters to the baby
Text/Chen Qian
Dear Baby,
This is the first letter your mother has written to you, and this letter is addressed to you when you are half a year old.
There are many ways to record your growth moments, freeze-frame photos of moments, videos of wonderful moments, but my mother chose words with emotions, hoping that these words can more perfectly retain your every growth mark and what I think and feel. It's just some flowing words, it doesn't have flowery rhetoric, it doesn't have new knowledge, it's your participation in every day of my life's trajectory, my mother's ordinary love for you.
I was going to record your growth and changes every month, but I can't find the time to think about it when I just change roles and am not used to being a mother, so I will settle for the second best thing and write every quarter, but for you sometimes I still don't have any extra experience when I can't even take care of eating. But your growth is not waiting for anyone, and you will be half a year old in a flash......
When I am a mother for the first time, where should I start? Whether it is to write about you sleeping and making trouble twice, or writing about you three times, five works, and so on, it seems that every healthy child is roughly the same, this is the law of growth. Whether it's writing about your little hands from clenching their fists to skillfully putting them in their mouths or grasping toys accurately, whether it's writing about your little mouth from a silent smile to babbling or unconsciously shouting out mother's syllables, or writing about your eyes from slowly chasing black and white cards to being able to distinguish family members or quickly locate and stare at the food in other people's hands, etc., every bit of your growth is as ordinary as other children, but it always makes me happy.
Perhaps, I am not a qualified mother, and my vision is inconvenient, so I have a lot less to do for you as a mother. In six months, I haven't changed your diaper, I haven't bottled you, I haven't dressed you, and I didn't even start holding you until you were five months old. But I love you and I give you everything I can to the best of my ability.
Although every baby grows up to be the same, every parent is sure to find a lot of unique marks for their child. What should I write?
So, let's start with the sleep that you need most to grow up. I bought you a small bed before you were born, and I wanted to train you to sleep alone from an early age. For the first few days, although you were insecure, you were able to sleep peacefully on your own as long as you were coaxed into the cot. But when you wake up, you can't find your mother, and you will immediately snort or cry. In order to take better care of you, I also invited Aunt Yuesao for you, but because I was not used to her snoring, I pointed out that I slept with her all night, and whenever you cried loudly, she woke up and got up to check, and I didn't feel at ease so I let you sleep in my room as much as possible. Especially after you enter the first surge period began to be easy to milk, the confinement lady in a play with the mobile phone did not find out in time after your choking accident, we were scared not lightly, since then you have been sleeping tightly next to me at night, I have zero deep sleep from time to time to touch your shoulder, in case you lie flat, straight milk in the nasal cavity, your little person twisted around, but there is a great strength when straightening, I dare not be careless, I am a person with little sleep, and the wound has not healed and the action is still a little inconvenient. With an average of two hours of sleep a day, I was really sleepy. Severe sleep deprivation, an indescribable mixture of hunger, drowsiness, drowsiness, headaches, dizziness...... After the confinement lady leaves, you enter the legendary February trouble. Maybe you're still relatively well-behaved, but it's hard for my own mother. I never thought that she, who doesn't usually like to make small talk, can say so much humor to you, so many ways to make you happy, and so patiently put to sleep with the rhythm of three plus two. This also indirectly made me see and understand the hard work of my mother when she raised me. In order to reduce the milk machine filter, she sewed a slope pillow for you, but half an hour after feeding was still almost hanging on her body, shortening her shoulders and swelling her arms, but your neck was too soft I never dared to hold you. And at night, you only have half a month to cry until the early hours of the morning. In this way, we have finally survived your most dangerous 100 days safely. After that, your sleep is still good, although during the day you refer to sleeping for three or two and a half hours of short sleep, and still need to hold and walk to sleep, but the landing woke up better, sleep very soundly at night, and basically develop a sleep pattern from 7 pm to 7 am. Therefore, although I still wake up frequently at night to feed and pump, I finally have a short deep sleep.
Sleeping is equally important to eat. I was ready to breastfeed, but I didn't expect that due to severe sleep loss, I didn't show up for the three days of milk that I should have, and the milk has been pitifully low ever since. Although you also hung on me every day and sucked very hard during the confinement, but you couldn't hear the swallowing sound, you could only watch the milk powder add more and more, but you couldn't do anything, and gradually I was relieved. But I never thought about it, I found a lot of home remedies, drank a lot of soup and water, and the milk didn't rise much, but since then I started the nightmare of gambling on milk. My experience of betting on milk was previously recorded in another article "Mother Rabbit", so I will not write about it here. In the past six months, in addition to the troubles of betting on milk and pumping, your breastfeeding is also a heart-to-heart process, so let's talk about the little fun of breastfeeding. During the confinement, it is difficult to eat because of the lack of milk, and every time your family helps you to help you milk the milk, you become aware of the quiet waiting there, followed by a "coo" swallowing sound. We often say that when you are so small, you know how to be lazy and effortless. After the full moon, it is time to change the nipple that is one size larger, but you are too eager to feed, always want to grab the bottle yourself, I don't want you to eat too smoothly, I am still looking forward to returning to breastfeeding, so I will not change the suitable model for you until the full two months. Since then, with the help of the lactator, my milk has not only gradually increased, but also become richer. When you're about to turn three months, you're finally back to breastfeeding. Speaking of breastfeeding, it is still because you are not attentive to breastfeeding, more and more refusing to be fed by the bottle, from verbal teasing to hugging and eating while walking, from pretending to be asleep to constantly swinging your head to dodge, and finally you suddenly accept the nipple again in order to escape the bottle. After that, I'm afraid you'll change your mind and hardly use a bottle to feed. I thought that it would be easy to return to breastfeeding, but I didn't have to repeatedly pump, flush, and brush the bottle. But even if you don't talk about five months of gambling experience, it's abrasive enough for you to eat and sleep without separating your family. When you escape from the bottle, seeing the nipple is also like touching a bomb, at first you turn your head and cry when you touch the nipple, referring to eating confused milk when you just fall asleep or wake up, and shake your head away after eating. I use my best patience to build trust with you as the experts say, I accompany you every time you lie down and eat, when you are awake, I play a feeding game with you, I sometimes touch your mouth with my nipple, sometimes I cover your eyes, you bow your head and take two bites, but soon you know to look up or sideways. Gradually, you can occasionally wake up and eat, and when you are full, you will raise your head and echo me Ouou twice, as if telling me that you are full, but you will still eat mainly confused milk, and I can only continue to wait for you to wake up motionless. For half a year, although I can only eat boiled vegetables because of milk betting, although you have been eating less milk and not paying attention enough, but finally you have absorbed well and it has not affected your development. Of course, I have long watched books and videos such as parenting guides for children aged 0 to 1 years, but I don't know who is right and who is wrong in the parenting styles of the pros and cons. For example, experts say that we should eat and sleep regularly, and breast milk should be fed on demand, but some people also propose to feed on time; some people say that only when the child is young to meet the needs of the child can he feel safe and good when he grows up, and some people say that he should delay the satisfaction and let the child cry more and practice lung capacity; some people say that he must be ruthless in seconding to file taxes, milk sleeping, and how to sleep, how much milk should the baby eat each month, and so on. I tried it, but you're always a clingy little baby, I think you'll grow up in a flash, and it's not too late to be completely inseparable from me, and it's not too late to hand over when you're a little more sensible and have a sense of security. I think that physiologically what you need is the most suitable, and now I have more patience, more companionship, and not absent from your growth, it will not be wrong.
Let's talk about your little growth skills that you have to praise. Within two days of your birth, you'll have the mantra "oops" and "oops" and you'll smile unconsciously. In February, your lips pursed and you wanted to speak, you began to eat your fists and fingers, you ate at night with a loud noise, your eyes would seriously chase black and white cards, and you would look sideways to find your mother's voice when I entered the house to speak. From three months onwards, you have a better laugh, your language has a richer intonation, you can play the pedal piano proficiently, you not only have improved hand-eye coordination and you will want to grasp toys, but also have a richer expression and you will get angry if you can't catch it, you know your mother's face, you begin to have the consciousness of opening your mouth to keep what others want to eat, you can lie on your stomach and raise your head upright for a longer time, and you can finally play by yourself for half an hour. At four months, in addition to eating hands, the gradually flexible lips are your new toy to explore, from the monosyllabic "bu", to the silent toot, and finally to the tone that imitates my singing and practicing the toot. You'll be conscious of grasping toys, you'll be able to roll over and get up, and you'll like to look in the mirror and make faces. At five months, you can identify each family member, you will choose who will hold you, you can easily pull it, you can clasp your hands together flexibly, you will look at the cards carefully, you will say some monophonic words unconsciously but clearly. At six months, you can grasp small objects such as hair slowly but accurately, you can quickly hear the sound of others unpacking and eating, you can sit on your own for a while, you can recognize other people's expressions, and the first two-syllable word you unconsciously utter is Mom. But the most interesting thing is that you are quietly long-eyed, asking you if you want to go out to play, you turn your head shy, from going out afraid of light to full of surprises, from closing your eyes when you see a car to looking at the flying pigeons, and now you know that you are going to go out and play as soon as you put on a hat. Who you like wants to hug is like her stretching out her hands, and those who don't like it will briefly hold a grudge and turn their heads to hide in someone's arms. If you love freedom, you only like to undress and scatter flowers, and roll and scream when you get dressed. When you have eaten the apple puree a few times, no matter how many fruits are in the fruit bowl in front of you, your little hands will grasp the apple far away but accurately. The funniest thing is that once you are holding a teether, but you bite the finger holding the teether hard, biting your own you are so aggrieved, and the little expression is very rich. I used to think, don't you gnaw your fingers if you bite the teether hard, it turns out that you can tell, no wonder you bite my nipple I pinched you hard a few times, and you don't bite anymore, you have a certain memory. You are so little, every bit of growth skills has brought us endless joy and joy.
Whether it is old or young, they always talk about the fact that today's dolls are clever and difficult to carry, and of course you are the same. You've got a better temper tantrum than I did when I was a kid. Not only does you hang on others like a little monkey all day long, but you often lose your temper and bulge your belly, so you have an umbilical hernia. When you are older, you will watch people put down the dishes, see who is coming to hug you, and cry tentatively, the duration is thunder and rain, if you are really wronged, you will shed tears first, pout, and shout. When you make a mistake, you know that others are criticizing you, and you will cry aggrieved when your tone is heavy. You have also had normal growth problems such as blocked tear ducts, severe gas, frequent hiccups, stool straining, saliva rash, etc., but under the careful care of your family, you have never been sick for half a year.
Perhaps the hardest part is the daily repetition of this day-to-day life. After the confinement sister-in-law left, the mother-in-law also came to help for half a month, and she didn't feel like it was too much when she had one more manpower. Because during the Full Moon, there are many things that I don't need to do myself, so I don't feel much about you. When there are only two people, my mother and I during the day, and my lover and I at night, you need one person to take care of you, and the other person to do the work. Since then, I have no time for myself. Wash the ring, brush the bottle, suck the hot milk, play with you, watch you sleep...... You're obviously a little elf, a little rabbit, but I have a delusion for a long time. When you hang on people, you feel like a little monkey, when you rub your soft and cute head into my arms and suck like a puppy, sometimes when you are happy, like a squeaky little mouse, and when you are irritable, you are like a big fly...... With so many metaphors, it seems that this mother is really not serious, but you are always such a cute little thing, and all my patience is given to you. I can't hold my phone when I'm playing with you, I can't turn on the computer when I sleep with you the whole time, and my life revolves around you.
There is a leave of absence for any profession, but once you become a parent, you can't quit your job. Counting every month, every day, being a mother is strong. I thought I was strong enough, yes, I was strong enough. After surviving those frequent gambling days, surviving those days and nights of severe sleep deprivation, and suppressing those nameless fires and irritability, I understand why there is postpartum depression. Fortunately, I never lost my temper with you, you grew up day by day, and I survived the hardest time. Thank you for the company of my family and lover, and thank you for giving me more beauty and expectation.
Mommy loves you!
December 7th
About the Author:
Chen Qian is a native of Beijing. Graduated with a major in musicology, he is good at singing and piano. He is currently engaged in children's music education and is keen to participate in public welfare activities. She loves to read, history, poetry, novels and fairy tales. Maybe life is unexpected, but I am still grateful to meet everyone who has created my colorful life. Books and music are the pure land of my soul, and I only want to share love and happiness.