From psychological research, we can know that when we love someone, there will be different degrees of physiological reactions in the body, which can almost be said to be an instinctive reaction. When we are in love, we secrete hormones, which is a physiological change that cannot be controlled or concealed. After all, love is heart-pounding, and this feeling will affect our bodies and minds in a constant stream.
Those who don't love you always behave very calmly and rationally, unmoved when you say or do something.
Even if you ask him about the future between you, he will still avoid the topic and will not be able to give a clear answer.
You should understand that when a person only cares about the present moment, his love is not pure emotion, but more of a use for some purpose. This requires you to think hard about his true feelings and motivations for you.
In Maugham's novel The Veil, Townsend is portrayed as such a man.
Townsend has a deep understanding of women's psychology and understands what they need and want, so he is able to propose appropriate solutions for different situations and gain women's trust and gratitude. The heroine, Katie, is one of his successful prey.
Katie is a woman who is desperately lacking in love and being loved. She never really understood what love was, and even when she was married, she didn't really feel the good taste of love.
It is for this reason that she is deluded by the goodness shown by Townsend and mistakenly believes that she has met true love.
She indulges in an extramarital affair and even brings him to her home for a tryst. In the end, she couldn't bear the pain of longing and filed for divorce directly from her husband.
Katie naively and innocently thought that her actions would impress Townsend, but he suddenly felt uneasy.
His love for Katie is not really there, but rather a thirst for her young body and the thrill of an extramarital affair. If this emotion poses a threat to the family, he will immediately choose to retreat. He indirectly tells Katie that he's just playing around and that please don't take it seriously.
At that moment, Katie finally realized that there were already signs of whether a man really loved you, but she deliberately turned a blind eye.
In front of you, there are three kinds of men with emotions, and only when these three impulses are present can it be called true love. If one of them is missing, then the relationship is not necessarily true love.
Adults should have known about these things.
One: The urge to stare at you involuntarily
There is a saying that you can't hide your affection for someone, even if you don't say it, it will be revealed in your eyes.
Indeed, the most obvious sign of loving someone is the eyes. If a man is always staring at you unconsciously when he is with you, then it can prove that he is interested.
You catch his eye, attract his attention, and naturally focus on you.
He keeps an eye on you, and the message he sends to you is that he wants to be discovered by you. This is his way of expressing affection to you, and although he doesn't say it directly, he wants to send a signal by paying special attention to you.
Two: The urge to be close to you
When the relationship first sprouts, maybe we don't have too much very intimate contact. But you can feel his eyes on you all the time, and this is just the first step in love. If the relationship is further developed, he will approach you with the urge to go further.
For example, I want to be holding hands with you, hugging you, etc., and we have a substantial relationship with each other, not just possessing you.
If a man says he loves you verbally, but doesn't show the slightest emotion around you, it's likely that the love he says isn't true. Of course, if he has certain physical or psychological problems, it may also affect his performance. In short, a person who truly loves you will express it in words and deeds.
According to psychological research, the production of love is inseparable from the secretion of hormones, and this physiological change is obvious. This fact is both interesting and scientifically valuable, and it deserves to be explored in depth.
If a person loves you, but is unwilling to be close to you, it is obviously not in line with the law of interpersonal development, and it may also mean that he is not sincere.
Three: The urge to marry you
He professes to love Katie, but never thinks about getting formal recognition for her, charting a visible direction for her future.
He's married, so he won't ruin the family he's worked so hard to run for years because of an extramarital woman.
He did not dare to divorce his wife at all, because his wife was a very capable figure. Not only does she have a strong family background, but she is also successful herself. It can be seen that divorce is unwise at all levels.
Townsend is not stupid, he will not do anything that loses money, and he will not let this matter affect his career, future and reputation.
In other words, Katie is doomed because Townsend doesn't love her and won't marry her.
A man who truly loves you will want to be with you for a long time, and he will try his best to overcome whatever obstacles you face between you.
Men who don't love you, no matter how active or humble you are, won't take a step in your direction.
Women should understand that if men have real feelings for you, they will show different emotions in front of you. They can't help but stare at you, want to get close to you, and even want to marry you. These are all manifestations of how deeply they love you.
If he doesn't meet your expectations or even live up to one of them, then don't waste any more time and effort. He is not worth your dedication to him, and you may have chosen the wrong love partner.