5 golden questions after the exam, so that children learn more and more energetically, this education method is worth learning from parents

Ao Dad talks about education

2024-04-22 23:02Published in Fujian

Although there is a trend of diluting exams in primary school, for many ordinary families, exams are still an unavoidable hurdle on the road to children's growth.

Many parents are very concerned about their children's scores and rankings, but ignore the impact of post-test conversations on their children's future learning motivation and emotional adjustment.

In fact, good communication between parents and children after an exam is the golden moment to stimulate the passion for learning.

The key to this communication lies in the conversation skills of the parents.

Even if your child fails in an exam, the right conversation can guide your child to learn more from the setbacks rather than being overwhelmed by the pressure.

In this way, we are not only developing children's learning skills, but also teaching them to face life's challenges calmly.

01 The first question: How do you rate your satisfaction with this result?

Test results are not only a feedback on knowledge mastery, but also a test of children's self-awareness and evaluation ability.

When we ask our children "how satisfied you are with this test result", we are actually guiding them to start an inner dialogue and let them learn to self-evaluate and reflect.

This conversation can help children build awareness of their own learning outcomes and provide parents with a window into their children's inner thoughts and feelings.

When guiding children through self-assessment, parents' attitudes should be open and non-judgmental. Here are some specific ways to boot it:

1. Encourage honest expression: Tell your child that there is no right or wrong way to achieve this satisfaction, regardless of the score, and that the most important thing is how you really feel.

2. Acceptance feelings: If the child is not satisfied with his or her score, parents should show an attitude of understanding and acceptance, let the child feel that their emotions are respected, and at the same time, guide them to think about how to improve.

3. Send encouragement: If your child is satisfied with his or her score, parents may wish to give their child encouragement so that the child can get a full sense of accomplishment.

02 Second question: How are you going to celebrate?

After the examination, it is gratifying to do well in the examination, but if you do not do well in the examination, you should not be presumptuous and sluggish.

Parents throw out this sentence, which is equivalent to telling their children that their parents see their efforts and dedication, no matter what the results are, they are worth celebrating.

This kind of "celebration" can greatly enhance children's intrinsic motivation, help them build a positive sense of self, and a positive attitude towards the learning process. Maintain a positive mindset even in the face of failures and challenges.

Here are a few ways to guide your child to think about how to celebrate:

1. Provide a variety of options: Give your child several options to celebrate and let them choose how they like it. For example, it could be going out to eat, watching a movie, going to the park for a day, or buying a few new books.

2. Creative celebration: Encourage your child to imagine some creative ways to celebrate. For example, they can choose a theme, make dinner with their family, or organize a family version of a talent show.

3. Simple and meaningful: Celebrations don't have to be extravagant. Sometimes, a warm hug, a card of encouragement, or a walk outside can be a great way to celebrate an effort, but it's important for your child to feel supported and recognized by their family.

4. Goal-related rewards: If your child has made progress in a subject, celebrate it in a way that is associated with that subject. For example, if your Chinese score has improved, you can buy your child a few excellent books that you like, so as to motivate your child to continue to work hard in this area.

5. Discuss the meaning of celebration: When discussing how to celebrate, you can also discuss with your child the deeper meaning of celebration, which is to recognize the process rather than just the result, emphasizing that the process of effort is more important than the achievement itself.

03 The third question: If you need help, just ask me

In a child's learning journey, it is inevitable to encounter challenges and difficulties.

As parents, our role is not only to supervise and guide, but more importantly to be their supporters and dependents.

Through a simple sentence of "if you need help, just come to me", it conveys unconditional support and love to children, so that children can feel that parents are always their most reliable partners, ready to lend a helping hand, and no matter what difficulties they face, home will always be their strongest backing.

This kind of assurance can greatly enhance a child's confidence and sense of security in the face of learning challenges.

1. Take the initiative to ask and listen: Always take the initiative to ask about your child's learning and listen carefully to their answers. Even if your child encounters a failure, show understanding and support and avoid excessive criticism and blame.

2. Find solutions together: When a child expresses a need for help, parents should encourage the child to try to come up with their own solutions before providing their own advice. This approach not only helps children develop problem-solving skills, but also enhances their learning autonomy.

3. Provide substantive help: Whether it is the acquisition of learning resources or the guidance of learning methods, parents should provide substantive help according to the specific needs of their children.

4. Reinforce positive feedback: Whenever a child makes progress in their studies, no matter how big or small, they should be recognized and praised by their parents. This positive feedback can motivate children to be more motivated to ask for help and solve problems when they are struggling.

04 The fourth question: What do you think you did well this time?

Parents need to affirm their efforts and achievements from time to time as their children learn.

The benefits of this are clear, not only to reinforce your child's successes, but also to inspire them to be more resilient and confident in the face of challenges.

Parents can guide their children to review and summarize their strengths and successes by using the following methods to develop positive thinking:

1. Specific guidance: Encourage your child to be specific about what they think they did well.

2. Affirm the effort: Emphasize your child's hard work and dedication regardless of the grades. Even if the results are not satisfactory, parents should recognize their child's attempts and improvements, which can help them develop a "growth mindset".

3. Make connections: Help children connect current successes to past endeavors. Pointing out how their previous efforts in a particular area have translated into current success can enhance the child's awareness of the value of their own efforts.

4. Encourage sharing: Encourage your child to share their own successes. Not only does this increase positive communication within the family, but it also allows children to feel that their achievements are recognized by their families.

5. Use positive language: During discussions, parents should use positive language to affirm their children. For example, using expressions such as "You are really good at solving this type of problem" or "You have demonstrated great time management skills in this exam and are really great" can help strengthen your child's sense of self-worth.

05 Fifth question: What do you think can be better?

Self-reflection is an integral part of the learning process.

Promoting self-reflection through this type of questioning not only allows children to recognize and accept their own shortcomings, but also guides them to find room for growth and improvement in a positive way.

Here are some effective educational tips and strategies to help children put their own shortcomings into perspective instead of falling into self-denial:

1. Positive opening: Acknowledge your child's efforts and achievements so far, and then guide them to think about what they can improve. This "positive-improve" model can reduce the stress that the child actually feels.

2. Be specific and practical: Encourage children to give specific examples, rather than staying at vague self-evaluations, which can help children more clearly recognize their own learning shortcomings.

3. Use questions to guide thinking: Use open-ended questions to encourage children to find solutions on their own, such as: "What ideas do you have that can help you do better at this next time?"

4. Create a sense of security: We want children to know that discussing these deficiencies is not to criticize, but to better help them grow.

5. Set small goals: We can help your child set specific and achievable goals to make the improvement process clearer.

epilogue

The role of parents is much more than just supervision and guidance, but also a navigator and gas station for their children, providing them with the right direction and sufficient energy on the road to growth.

The Irish poet Yeats once said, "Education is not to fill a bucket with water, but to light a fire." "Through this dialogue, we are essentially stimulating children's enthusiasm for learning and life, helping them to establish the right learning attitude and self-growth ability.

After each test, we may wish to use these "questions" to try to communicate with your child, and you may find that this will not only change the way your child approaches learning, so that they will learn more and more, but also deepen the parent-child relationship between you.

Let's try to use these "questions" to ignite the spark in the child's heart and witness their change together.

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