Eight ways to heal emotionally: live in the moment, do one thing at a time, know where your pause button is, use your imagination, do what you love, organize and be organized, eat heartily, and develop a sense of ritual.
—— Speech, Reader, No. 8, 2024
Recently, "raising yourself all over again" seems to be becoming a new life trend.
In fact, the gist of this copy is very simple, it refers to those adults who have not been loved well in the process of growing up, and treat their adult selves as gently as children.
In the way you like, grow into what your heart desires the most.
In fact, a person's life is a life of self-healing and self-along.
In real life, many people always try to find love and fulfillment in others, but in the end, it backfires.
As everyone knows, no one in this world knows how to love yourself better than you.
The Four Precepts of Lifan says: "Yesterday's things are like yesterday's death, and today's things are like today's birth." ”
Yes, everything that used to be is gone like yesterday, and from now on, everything starts again.
Therefore, if you want to change your life when you reach middle age, you should raise yourself again, this is not to follow the trend, but to give yourself a chance to change your life.
Source: Visual China
Focus on the present moment
Some time ago, Xie Yang, the male protagonist in the TV series "Hometown, Don't Come to Harm", touched me a lot:
His words and deeds all reveal self-consistency, he can control his own life, there is no bad thing for him to do, everything is okay with the situation, but he has a clear plan.
Because he likes to cook, he used his spare time to build a barbecue stand, and because he likes to travel, he developed a tourism-related software on his own.
When he met Zhang Pei, the girl he had a crush on when he was young, he never forced it and kept a comfortable distance from each other.
When he reached middle age, he didn't seem to have anything to worry about, and Zhang Pei couldn't help asking:
"How do you know you can do these things well?"
Xie Yang said: "I just tried my best and didn't think about the result. ”
Zhang Pei suddenly realized that his anxiety, confusion and uneasiness were too concerned about the result in the final analysis.
In fact, life is an experience, and learning to enjoy the process and focus on the present moment is the most important thing.
This reminds me of a passage I read in a book earlier:
"It's normal to be confused and not be able to find a big goal for the future for a while, and not many people know what kind of life they want to live at a very young age. You can do the things in front of you. ”
Yes, just do the things in front of you well, and you only know where you can go when you walk.
It's like the foggy early morning when you can't see the road in the distance, but at least every step under your feet is clear.
There will always be a moment when the fog lifts, and until then, you can't just stay where you are and not take a step.
You know, take your time and travel every day, not afraid of thousands of miles.
The worst outcome is just a late bloomer.
Source: Visual China
Manage emotions
In life, it is inevitable that there will be times when you have an emotional breakdown.
Maybe it's because life is stressful, maybe it's because work isn't going well, maybe it's because the relationship is not satisfactory...... Emotionally unstable, life can often become a mess as well.
The book "Emotional Revolution" says, "Emotional illness is more terrible than physical illness." ”
I deeply agree that on the road of life, the biggest enemy we encounter is sometimes not ability, not condition, but emotion.
Schindler, a well-known psychologist, once met a patient whose symptoms were exactly the same as those of cholecystitis, so he injected the patient with painkillers.
But the patient's pain was not relieved. Later, psychologists discovered that the patient was not sick at all, and that her physical discomfort was due to her son's departure to the army, and she was too emotionally stressed.
When her son returned home, her illness was cured.
Our bodies, like our minds, need to be constantly nourished.
Psychologist Maslow said:
"If you change your mentality, your attitude will change, if your attitude changes, your habits will change, if your habits change, your personality will change, and if your personality changes, your life will change. ”
When we encounter difficult things, we can't solve them at the moment, because we can't make a lot of money in the bank card in an instant, and we can't let the children grow up overnight, but a good attitude can keep you emotionally free.
Solve the emotional problem, no matter how difficult it is, just face the difficulty.
Somewhere, there is a question: "What are the signs of a person's maturity?"
A high praise replied: "Even if the heart is turbulent, the surface can be light." ”
A simple summary, summed up in four words: emotional stability.
How to heal our emotions, 8 small methods shared with you in Reader magazine:
- Live in the moment
- Do one thing at a time
- Know where your pause button is
- Use your imagination
- Do what you love
- Arrangement, Yujo Ii
- Eat attentively
- Cultivate a sense of ritual
Know how to make trade-offs
In life, many people are afraid of becoming a "frog at the bottom of the well", so they are full of boredom and dissatisfaction with their existing life.
But what many people don't know is that there is another story about that frog.
After listening to the turtle's story about the sea, the frog at the bottom of the well was filled with a yearning for the sea and asked the turtle to take it to see the sea.
The frog, which saw the sea for the first time, couldn't wait to plunge into the sea, but was slapped back to the beach by a big wave and fell dizzy.
The frog then begged the turtle to swim in the sea with a hunched back.
At first, the frog felt great, but after swimming for most of the day, the thirsty and hungry frog gradually lost interest, because the salty sea water did not quench its thirst at all, and there were no insects in the sea that it could eat.
The frog thought for a long time, and then said to the turtle, "The sea is beautiful, but it is not for me. I chose to go back to the bottom of my well, which is where it belongs. ”
For frogs, the distance is certainly worth yearning for, but fitting is more important.
Having the courage to make decisions, to make choices, and to have the determination to bear the consequences is a more valuable ability.
If you want too much, you will only continue to consume yourself, and focusing on one point will make it easier to make achievements.
The wisdom of life lies in gradually clarifying and filtering out the impurities that are not important, while retaining the most important parts.
If you don't know how to choose, this mountain looks at that mountain high, and you will eventually run out of strength in the blind chase and get nothing.
Only by throwing away the obstacles on your shoulders can you walk easily and your life can be sublimated.
Equip a 3-piece set of middle-aged life changes and welcome the second half of a better life together.
Author: Light ink for more than a few years, I wish to love everything I meet, with a happy heart, slow unknowable encounters.