There is only one case where stalking can be successful.
In the previous article, we talked about what kind of psychology this kind of predecessor is for stalking, what kind of psychology is it, and what is its underlying logic, let's study a question in this article: how to redeem an ex who has entanglement needs?
First of all, I don't support disconnection in this case, I think that when dealing with an ex, you must have the courage to test where the other party's boundaries are.
People who have needs will intentionally or unintentionally leave a window, so how do you know where his window is?
You can only take the initiative to tempt, temptation is dangerous, but when you encounter those people who can't beat a fart with three sticks, if you don't tempt, you don't know where the window he left for you is.
When you test the bottom line, you must stop, and this bottom line can only be touched once at most.
After being on the verge of danger, you probably know how big your range of action is, what you can do, what he won't get angry about, and what you can't do will anger him.
But most people don't have the guts, he is afraid that he will be too stalked, and the other party will ignore him anymore, afraid that he will be too heartfelt to the other party, and the other party will despise him and throw him away as a rag.
Therefore, this kind of person generally does not achieve the point of "stalking", at most he keeps consuming himself. I know that most people are still afraid that stalking will make them lose themselves and completely follow in the footsteps of the other person.
I'm not saying that you have to stalk, but that stalker is just a means and don't put yourself in it.
How to grasp this degree? That is, we must stubbornly fight in behavior, and we must maintain ourselves psychologically.
In other words, you can be very persistent in the behavior you pursue, but psychologically, you can't be at the mercy of the other person, and you can't be swayed by his emotions.
He blocked you, you won't collapse out of control for this, he replied to your message, you won't be so excited that you forget yourself, you just need to cut the recovery task into small pieces on the road you have set, and complete your task step by step.
After all, when it comes to redemption, we must make some compromises in our actions and words, but you always have to know that there are some things that should be done, some things that you make in order to redeem, and some things that you should not do.
For example, you have to admit what you did wrong, you have to change, this is right, you were not good enough for others before, and now you change your attitude to tolerate and understand each other, and share the negative emotions of the other party.
Even use him as a punching bag, this is what you should do, take the responsibility you should bear as the other half, not a forced concession, but an active change.
And there are some things that should not be compromised, such as becoming the other party's spare tire or gunner, being trampled on by the other party's dignity, or making irrational life decisions for the other party.
Because no matter how much you look at this relationship now, in the end you will find that there are many more exciting parts of your life, you still have family and friends, a job, and ideals.
Love is also just a part of your life, important, but not so important that you lose yourself.
Therefore, the grasp of the degree of chasing the other party, one is to see where the other party's boundaries are, and the other is to look at one's own feelings.
Remind everyone that there are two dimensions of constraints in stalking: the strong rejection of the other person, and the discomfort of losing oneself.
If you feel that you have put all your energy into him, that you have to do it and that you can't extricate yourself, you need to know that your tipping point has also been reached. Then it's time for you to lose your boundaries.
You can stalk and persevere, but you have to make yourself comfortable, no matter whether the other party can be saved by you or not, you have to be happy first, happy to do what you like to do, and chase the people you like to chase.
If you feel intense discomfort all the time, then there is no point in doing it and you will not succeed.
Please protect yourself from the bottom of your heart, always have your own spiritual world, improve your cognition in all aspects, and expand your horizons.
You can keep trying in behavior and words, but psychologically, you have to draw a rest line for yourself and operate in the line so that you can protect yourself from harm.
But there are some people who have a resolute attitude, please don't stalk them. This kind of person is very resolute in breaking up, so resolute that it doesn't matter to you, and they won't even block you.
When a person is completely disappointed in you, he doesn't care what you do at this time, his attitude is always the same, and he will not change his mind just because you ask him for two words.
This kind of person, if you stalk him, you are asking for trouble, either you accept that your fate is over, or you calm down, find his weaknesses and his needs, and then go step by step to redeem them.
Because this kind of person really hates stalking, compared to those who are emotional, it is more difficult to recover, but it is not impossible, you can start from the following aspects:
1. Find the real needs of the other person, what he likes, and you will meet him.
2. Enhance your own attractiveness, develop your own interests and specialties, and display them appropriately on social platforms or through other channels to attract the attention of the other party
3. Apologize, but get to the point, and communicate like a friend
4. Provide emotional value to make the other person happy.
Provide real-world value and help the other person grow. Integrate into each other's circle of friends, infiltrate each other's lives, make appropriate use of the assistance of relatives and friends, and finally create passion and narrow the physical distance.
In short, just don't stalk him, it's easy to say anything else, and being broken up doesn't mean that you have to redeem it immediately.
Feelings are all placed, you have to believe that all your efforts will be silently accumulated in the other party's heart, not today's redemption tomorrow will have results.
Depending on the other person's state, experience, and changing perceptions, his acceptance of you will also change.