A little horror story.
The upper-class couple attended the children's school ceremony, and the excellent youngest son performed the piano on stage, and the parents were full of pride in their eyes.
Applejack, the eldest son, who was sitting next to him, didn't get a look.
Applejack obediently brought a glass of water to the principal, who was talking to her parents:
“A cup of water.”
Naturally, he was politely a good child.
I thought this was the end of the day.
As a result, a family of four went home in the car.
Father suddenly popped up a word:
“Glass.”
"It's A glass of water, don't speak it outside if you don't know English. ”
Finally, he scolded:
"Garbage. ”
If this little story, you can't get the point of horror.
Well, you're in luck.
At least, much luckier than Zheng Youjie's children in the movie.
Diary of a young man
There were 12 nominations for the Academy Awards, and finally won the Best New Director Award, and the Douban score rose to 8.6 after the screening.
It's really high.
Especially for works of this score level, the excessive use of MV-style shots, as well as the hesitation and lack of portrayal of characters, all expose the youthfulness of the new director.
But.
To be honest, it is difficult for such a movie Sir to judge rationally.
Because it's not just talking about the family of origin.
And it is answering how the psychology of breaking off relatives, fear of marriage, and fear of childbirth that happens around us at any time, and even in ourselves, is formed.
It is an emotion that hits the center of the eyebrows in the moment.
Therefore, when the audience has become the little boy in the film.
The story.
Can it just be a story?
01
Juvenile horror film
The story begins with an anonymous suicide note in the third grade of high school.
The head teacher, Zheng Sir, wants to find out who is the owner of the suicide note.
But one sentence in it evoked Zheng Sir's memory.
So he found the "youth diary" and faced his teenage years surrounded by all-round fear.
"I'm not a big deal. ”
Zheng Youjie, a 10-year-old boy, wrote in his diary.
Applejack has two characteristics in the eyes of adults.
One, is "stupid".
As an elementary school student, not only did he have poor grades, failed many courses, and had to repeat grades, but he also had no special skills: his younger brother was proficient in tunes, and Applejack changed two teachers, but he still stumbled and stumbled.
One, is "well-behaved".
He is a very obedient child, he is not noisy in front of people, and he will work hard in the future, he is always observing and imitating, and strives to meet the requirements of adults.
Yes, these two characteristics seem to be in conflict.
In people's stereotypes, children with poor grades tend to be particularly stubborn and disobedient, while children with good grades are likely to be well-behaved children.
But Applejack is the poor student who can't live up to the demands of adults no matter how hard she tries.
How did such a character come about?
In a word: "Filial son comes out under the stick".
Applejack's father, the "chicken baby" madman Zheng Barrister Zheng, maintains this "simple" concept of education.
Didn't do well in the exam?
Beat.
Cartoons?
撕。
Anti-Ying?
Whistle.
Applejack feels more of a push than a care at home.
In other words, Applejack's stupidity and obedience are the result of her father's indoctrination over a long period of time ("stupid" destroys self-confidence, and "good" is a survival instinct).
But the question is, is it just a problem with the educational method?
No.
The "good for you" in my father's mouth is more like for his own face.
He scolds Applejack for being "trash" for fear that he will lose face outside.
It's like he used violence against his wife for fear that his control over the family would be shaken.
The same is true at school.
In a school where grades are the only yardstick, those stupid students face only one word: judgment.
Like once.
Applejack is penalized for being depressed, insomnia, and sleeping in class.
In this section, the film uses a hand-held follow-up camera.
The camera stares straight at the back of Applejack's head.
The teacher ordered him to turn back.
Applejack reluctantly turns around, tears on her face.
The camera completely records the process of a child's self-esteem being shredded.
What to do?
Distress.
There is an important prop in the movie, the flashlight.
At night, Applejack always turns on the flashlight in the lower bunk, or jits down "come on" in the comics, or talks to the doll, or goes to "disturb" the younger brother in the upper bunk.
Why?
Because he tried to reach out for help.
A light in the dark night was the only hope in his heart about this world.
But what?
The cartoon was torn off by his father, and the younger brother just responded impatiently: "Have you hugged enough, I still want to sleep." ”
This small light can't break through the narrow bed board of the family after all.
At an age when she needs security the most, Applejack faces a jungle society.
There is a scene in the film that makes many people's hearts tremble.
At the beginning of the movie.
Before the title came out, the audience saw Applejack hesitating on the rooftop and falling down the stairs.
The audience chuckled in their hearts.
It wasn't until the next shot, when we saw Applejack turn around from the rooftop, that we breathed a sigh of relief.
But.
Did he really survive the emotional violence of his childhood?
Shinobi Ichinobu, 熬一熬.
Is it really "good to grow up"?
02
Adult cages
The ending of the Ajie line, Sir does not spoil it, this is the highlight of the movie, and the film is not simply exaggerating the tragic past of the teenager.
It speaks of the present moment.
It means that the environment in which you grow up has a lifelong impact on a person.
As stated at the beginning.
The starting point of the film is a diary turned out by high school teacher Zheng Sir, and the encounters recorded in this diary are like an explosive bomb, which has made Zheng Sir experience continuous aftershocks for more than 20 years.
But here's the thing.
Who wrote that suicide note?
The male student who is often bullied in the class?
Or does he seem to be emotionally stable, but the quiet squad leader with cuts hidden in his sleeve?
The film didn't give an answer in the end.
But there is a shot.
When the suicide note is read out in a voice-over voice, the scene sweeps over the faces of every student who is immersed in studying.
One by one, they read the words of despair in the suicide note.
What do you mean?
In fact, it is to say that such psychological problems have become a common phenomenon, and it may be him, or her, or even more everybody, who utters such desperate last words as "I'm not an important person".
Even if it is Zheng Sir, he is also one of them.
He is a problem husband.
When his wife became pregnant, he was so frightened that he couldn't bear the responsibility of being a father, and eventually his wife killed the child and divorced him.
He's a problem son.
His father, Lawyer Zheng, was seriously ill, and he couldn't even wait for a meal and left in a hurry.
As a teacher, he is also good at evasion.
When the school leader said that he was not very responsible for the suicide note, he retorted violently in his head, but when it came to the end, there was only one sentence of "okay" or "sorry".
Sadly, when Zheng Sir grew up, the victim Ajie and the perpetrator's father appeared at the same time.
Seem.
This family, whether it is the victim of the attack, the perpetrator, the helper, or the bystander, they all use the rest of their lives to prove it.
In this hidden scar, no one was spared.
What to do?
Sir chatted with Zhuo Yiqian, the director of "Youth Diary", for a while after the screening.
△ Director and movie "actor" hippo doll
Director Zhuo said that "Youth Diary" is not an answer to the coffin, it is more like a question.
The movie does not have a clear explanation, but his initial feeling is:
"A wound is a wound, and it's likely that it will never get better, but at least the first step is to accept that it exists. ”
It's like there's a detail in the film.
Zheng Sir saw a news on the Internet that a student was overwhelmed and committed suicide by jumping off a building.
A tragedy.
But the comments at the bottom are all accusing the current students of their poor ability to work under pressure.
郑Sir 想反驳。
So he angrily typed a line, but then deleted it.
He switched to speech-to-text.
This plot looks strange, especially Zheng Sir's constant "comma" and "full stop" in the process of speech-to-text, which gives people a weird feeling.
But we'll know when we connect with the later plots.
What the director wants to express.
In fact, it is "voice".
When we have emotions, we must say them out loud, instead of being depressed in our hearts, constantly denying, constantly fermenting, and slowly devouring ourselves.
And this is one of them.
The first step is to face it squarely.
He faced up to his recurring wounds.
Facing up to the fact that guilt and hurt will flow to the so-called "weak" who have stronger empathy and care more about giving emotional support to others.
The second step is to hug.
The director once expressed, "The biggest difference between facing up to it and running away is that you face it yourself." And when you're talking to someone important, you don't have to deal with it alone. ”
It's like the title of a movie.
原本用的是《遗书》，如今的英文名是“Time Still Turns the Pages”（时间仍在翻页）。
From a state of "ended" to "still growing/to be continued".
We have to look forward.
So at the end of the film, Zheng Sir finally walked out of self-isolation and handed over the youth diary to his wife to talk to his father about the deepest wound in the family.
With tears of relief, a montage of embraces in different time and space appears.
As if to compensate Applejack as a child, the brief hug that was broken away.
03
Social trauma
That's right, about the issue of the original family, we have discussed a lot in recent film and television works.
Especially "patriarchy".
It has almost become a hot topic at the moment.
For example, "Wading through the Sea of Wrath".
Sandwiching the core of the patriarchal attack between a murder and revenge scene.
Beneath the madness, we will find that this is a tragedy caused by the self-righteous love of a father and the unequal needs of his daughter.
Or "The Sun Shines".
It is more restrained and panoramic, like a ukiyo-e with patriarchal oppression as the background.
The death of the elder brother becomes an unsolved mystery, and the younger brother has to break free from the gap of emotional kidnapping from society, friendship, and family affection.
even became popular because of the tiger wolf's lines "If Running is My Life".
Yang Chaoyue's mother and daughter involved the strict control of the elders, and used various superficial social rules to interfere with their daughter's human rights and freedoms.
Also trying to talk about this topic.
From this, some people will think that "Youth Diary" is just a cliché.
It is even a "stereotype".
So that the score is very high, but seeing such a theme, fewer and fewer people walk into the cinema.
But the question is, what about the results of the "bombardment" of so many film and television works? When we all know and even feel that such things don't need to be said anymore, what about the current society?
Hong Kong, China.
In 2022, the youth suicide rate in Hong Kong was as high as 12.2 per 100,000 people.
"Mood sickness" becomes a social disease.
Outback.
News of student suicides has also been repeated.
Many people will also reprimand today's children for their poor ability to cope with pressure.
Why?
Because at the end of the day, when we see similar news, many people are looking down from the top down, observing, judging.
Rather than empathy.
It's like the father in the film.
As a middle-class who worked hard from the bottom, in a highly competitive "number-theory" society, he was worried that his hard-earned status would fall because of the "lack of competition" of his descendants.
This is not a personal issue.
It's this wolf-like involution society that squeezes out the human flavor of a father in the family.
Under such a social competitive mentality.
He couldn't see it.
I don't want to see the child's weakness.
So from that point of view.
Sir feels that a narrative like "Youth Diary" that can arouse the audience's empathy is still valuable.
It's not like "Under the White Sun", it's like an essay, shouting "I accuse" to this society.
It's like an essay.
Calmly and gently, say to yourself, "I reflect".
And because of this.
Even if there are many technical shortcomings.
We still give it a very high evaluation emotionally, and this is the reason why it can become the first Chinese cinema film rated first this year.
Speaking of which, Sir remembered a piano piece that often sounded in the film, Debussy's "Dream".
It is gentle and gentle.
But at the same time, in contrast, this is also the Royal Academy of Music Piano Grade 8 exam piece, which requires great effort and skill to play well.
So every time.
When Applejack, who is not very smart, tries to play this piano piece, she will provoke her father's scolding and stress.
Applejack cries and says, I'm going to play it all.
For him.
This is a dream that expects to be beautiful, expects gentleness, expects not to be scolded, but cannot be realized.
And what about the movie "Diary of a Youth".
Isn't this also a dream full of hope?
In dreams, we can introspect, we can understand, we can stretch out our hands to comfort each other, and we can let the children grow up well.
We still have the strength to embrace and face up.
And what about reality?
When the lights come on.
What we hope to leave behind is not just a few sobs in the dark.
The picture in this article comes from the Internet
Editorial Assistant: It's Tu Yile