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I'm in my 80s, and although my body is a little old, my mind is still quite clear. It's just that the place where I live is so shabby that it's like a chicken shed. In the dead of night, I always think of the past: the hard times with my late husband, the joy of the birth of eight daughters, and the hopes I had for my son.
I am an old lady in my 80s, living alone in a dilapidated chicken shed. The incomplete tiles on the roof of the shed can shelter from the wind and rain, and the mottled stains on the walls bear witness to the baptism of time. In the dead of night, the cold wind would pour in through the cracks in all directions, making me shiver as I wrapped my thin bedding.
I have eight daughters, but they rarely come to see me, let alone provide for me, since they are all married. They each have their own little families, and I, an old woman, are like a dispensable existence in their eyes.
"Mom, you just live in that kind of chicken nest-like place, our family is crammed into a small house in the city, where is there room for you?" Every time my eldest daughter comes to see me, she always says a few perfunctory words.
I wish I could have a son, who would be filial to me and take me to live with them in the city. But the world is unpredictable, and I am destined to only have these 8 daughters in my life.
"If only you had given birth to a son, the son would definitely be more filial to you than the daughters. "My neighbors used to say that, and they couldn't hide their sympathy for me.
Every time I hear such words, I feel extremely ashamed and remorseful. Yes, if we could have had a son, maybe our lives wouldn't be so bad now.
In the morning, the sun shines through the cracks in the chicken coop and wakes me up from my light sleep. I opened my eyes and looked around at the humble surroundings and sighed.
"It's another day. I muttered to myself, struggling to sit up from the shack-like bed.
I rubbed my hands against my eyes, moved my stiff body for a moment, and then began to clean up the mess left over from yesterday: re-stacking the scattered straw and putting a few dilapidated household items in their place.
My mind began to think of the scene back then: when my husband and I first got married, we depended on each other for our lives and worked hard to get rich; Later, 8 daughters were born in succession, and we worked hard to give them the best future; It's a pity that my husband died early, and I grew up with 8 daughters alone.
"You have to study hard and get ahead in the future, and don't live a life of hard labor like me and your father. "Whenever my daughters come home from school, I tell them over and over again.
At that time, our family was not really wealthy, but in my eyes, as long as our daughters were happy and healthy, we were content.
If only I could have had a son! My son would definitely be filial to his parents and take us to live with him, instead of being left unattended like now. After my 8 daughters got married, they forgot about me as a mother, they only cared about their own small family, and they didn't care about me at all.
"Mom, you can just be here by yourself, our family is in the city, how can there be room for you?" Whenever I asked to go to their house, my daughters always gave me this perfunctory.
I often turned my back and tears welled up in my eyes. As a mother, I tried my best to pull them up, but in exchange for such coldness and kindness, the pain in my heart is unspeakable.
The eldest daughter is the farthest married of my 8 daughters and lives in a small county town in the middle of nowhere. One day, she came back to see me once.
"Mom, why do you live in such a place, do you want to move to my house?" The eldest daughter saw the chicken shed where I lived, and her face was full of surprise and sympathy.
"Hey, your family is in the city, and moving this old bone from me will only cause you trouble. I shook my head slightly, a wry smile on my face.
As she spoke, the eldest daughter began to look around, as if she was in a hurry to leave this "chicken nest" in her eyes. She hurriedly took out some change from her bag, stuffed it into my hand, said to me, "Mom, save some for yourself" and hurried away.
"Mom, I feel sorry for you when I heard that you live alone in such a ruined temple. The second daughter said in a sincere tone, as if she really cared about my living situation.
"Yes, your sisters and their sisters have all married out of town, and only me, the old bone, guards this chicken coop. I sighed helplessly.
"Then you can move in with us, and our family will serve you well. The second daughter said, and wiped the corners of her eyes exaggeratedly.
Sure enough, the second daughter began to look around as she spoke, revealing a faint uneasiness and anxiety in her expression. She pulled out a small bundle of bills from her bag and shoved them into my hand, muttering "Mom, you're going to stay here, tell me if you need anything." "
"Mom, why does your old man live in such a place? Now that we have money, you can move to our house, and I will hire a nanny for you to serve your old man to eat, drink, and Lazar." The third daughter said as she made a gesture of please.
I looked at the third daughter's flamboyant expression, didn't speak, just shook my head silently.
"Well, you don't want to? Okay, I'll send you some money every month, and you can hire someone to serve here. When the third daughter saw that I did not answer, she took it upon herself to take out a stack of bills and stuffed them into my hand.
I quietly looked at the money in my hand, and my heart was mixed. The third daughter now has opened a small company, and she is considered to be a small net worth in the county. But she never took me to heart as an old mother, and to her, I was just a "burden" that needed her support.
Seeing that I didn't respond for a long time, the third daughter became a little impatient. She looked at her watch and began to look around, as if she was in a hurry to leave the "broken temple". Finally, she patted me on the shoulder and said earnestly, "Mom, your old man can rest assured that he will be here, and if you need anything, just tell me." With that, she hurried away.
My other daughters have the same attitude towards me. They either simply stuffed me with some living expenses, so that I could settle in this chicken-like place by myself; Or perfunctory offer to let me move in with them, but never really do so.
They have all started their own families, with their own small families and children. In their eyes, I, an old woman in my 80s, am just an innocuous existence.
Sometimes I tried to stay with them for a while, but it didn't take long for them to excuse me to leave.
"Mom, don't stay in our house for a long time, our family lives in too small a place, there is really no extra space. "
"Mom, just go back, my husband and I have to go to work, no one takes care of you, and it's boring for you to lie here. "
I never get tired of hearing all kinds of excuses. I'm just a dispensable being, and I don't matter in their lives at all.
Just when I was disappointed, the youngest daughter of the family came in a hurry, pregnant.
"Mom, I heard my sisters say that you live alone in that kind of environment, and I feel so sorry for you. As soon as the little daughter entered the door, she said excitedly, her eyes were a little red.
Holding on to her bulging belly, she walked up to me and hugged me tightly. As the youngest of 8 daughters, she has been very obedient and sensible since she was a child, and she is a good child who is filial.
"You can move to my house and I'll take care of you. The youngest daughter said earnestly, her eyes full of sincerity.
"Hey, you're still young, and you'll have to worry about having children in the future, how can you have more of this burden. I patted my little daughter on the back and spoke softly.
"
Looking at my little daughter's distressed look, I couldn't help but burst into tears. Yes, isn't the greatest wish of a mother to see her daughters happy, healthy, and prosperous? Now that my youngest daughter has grown up and has her own family, I am deeply touched by her filial piety to me.
I hugged my little daughter tightly, and tears could not stop coming out of my eyes. As the youngest, she has been very obedient and sensible since she was a child, which has reduced a lot of worries for us old couples. Now that she is going to be a mother, we, as elders, should give her the greatest support and love.
"Good boy, don't worry, your mother will always be by your side. I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes and stroked my little daughter's hair in a gentle tone.
In this way, my youngest daughter moved in with me. Although the conditions are still tight, at least there is someone who can always be by my side, not alone as before.
A few months later, the youngest daughter gave birth to a healthy boy. The whole family was overjoyed with the arrival of this new life. I looked at the happy scene of my youngest daughter's family of three, and my heart was full of relief.
After the birth of the little one, the parents of the little two often come to us to help with housework and take care of the children. Sometimes I would hold this lovely great-grandson in my arms and sing him some old ballads, forgetting the heaviness of the years for a while.
I thought that with my great-grandson, I would be able to enjoy my old age and live a carefree life. Unexpectedly, after the parents of the young couple came to help, I, the old lady, began to be left out in the cold.
Sometimes the youngest daughter is surrounded by mothers-in-law and mothers, busy taking care of the children, and simply forgets the existence of me, an old mother; Sometimes when the parents of the younger son-in-law came, they would focus entirely on the great-grandson and leave me aside.
I began to realize that maybe my generation expects too much from my son. Regardless of gender, children's attitudes towards their parents are actually the same, and the key lies in personal moral cultivation.
Looking at the lively scene of the family, I silently stepped aside and packed my bags alone. I decided to leave here and go live with another daughter.
Seeing my movements, my youngest daughter hurriedly stepped forward and grabbed my hand: "Mom, where are you going?"
I shook my head and said in a firm tone: "I can't live with you forever, you still have your own life. I'm going to go to your sister's house and walk around, so as not to always cause you trouble. "
I clutched the money in my hand, tears rolling in my eyes. Is this the "filial piety" that my daughters have for me? It is nothing more than giving me some living expenses, so that my "burden" will not always be around them.
In this way, I began to move from house to house with my daughters, and I was traveling as a guest for a while. Sometimes they would think I was in the way, and sometimes they would beg me to go back and help with the children. I began to realize that children have the same attitude towards their parents as men and women.
After staying at my eldest daughter's house for a while, she began to excuse me from leaving.
"Mom, don't stay in our house for a long time, our family lives in too small a place, there is really no extra space. "
"Mom, just go back, my husband and I have to go to work, no one takes care of you, and it's boring for you to lie here. "
I tossed and turned from house to house for my daughters, and everywhere I went, they would excuse me to leave. I began to realize that the reason why they were like this was just to get rid of my "baggage".
As I got older, I realized how unrealistic my expectations of my son were. Whether children are filial or not has nothing to do with gender, the key lies in the way of education and personal morality. I only want my children to live a happy and healthy life now, and as for who will support me in the future, I am left to my fate.
I often think of the scene in my mind: my late husband and I depended on each other for our lives, working hard to get rich; Later, we gave birth to 8 daughters in succession, and we worked hard for them, hoping that they would have a good future and live a happy life.
But now it seems that our expectations of our son back then seemed a little too naïve. Whether children or daughters, their filial piety to their parents is limited. When they start their own families and have children, their attention will be completely focused on their own small family, and we old people will be ignored.
Even so, though, I have no complaints. Seeing my daughters happy and healthy, I, as a mother, am content. As for the future life of helplessness, let it be left to fate.
Space. They either thought I was in the way, or they begged me to go back and help with the children. My life was tossing and turning in my daughters' homes.
I spent my days at my daughters' house, for fear of causing them trouble. As soon as something happens, I take the initiative to help out and share some of the household chores as much as I can.
For example, when I was at my eldest daughter's house, I would take the initiative to go to the kitchen to wash vegetables and cook, or clean up in the living room. Even though my health is no longer what I used to be, I still try to share some of the work I can for my daughters.
But the eldest daughter is always worried about me doing things as an "old fool", for fear that I will mess things up. She often said to me, "Mom, just rest, it's better for us young people to do this little thing." "
I had no choice but to sit on the sidelines and watch my eldest daughter and son-in-law take care of the housework. Sometimes, I would secretly shed tears, feeling as if I was a useless "burden" in the eyes of my daughter.
When I was at my second daughter's house, the situation was not much better. The second daughter's in-laws and brother-in-law live together as a family, and the space at home is too crowded. I had to confine myself to a small storage room for fear of disturbing other people's lives.
Although the environment of my third daughter's house is more spacious, her attitude disappointed me. My third daughter ignores me and spends most of her time focusing on her career and children. Sometimes I would offer to help with the housework, but she would always wave her hand and say, "Mom, just rest, let's just do this little thing." "
I could only sit aside silently and watch my third daughter and son-in-law busy with each other. Occasionally, I would sneak down the furniture or tidy up the living room when they weren't looking, hoping to do my part for the home.
I began to reflect on how unrealistic my expectations of my son were. In fact, the attitude of children towards their parents is the same, regardless of gender, and the key lies in the cultivation of personal morality.
I often think back to the old days: my husband and I depended on each other for our lives, and we worked hard to get rich; Later, we gave birth to 8 daughters in succession, and we worked hard for them, hoping that they would have a good future and live a happy life. But now it seems that our expectations for our son back then seemed a little naïve.
Whether children or daughters, their filial piety to their parents is limited. When they start their own families and have children, their attention will be completely focused on their own small family, and we old people will be ignored.
Even so, though, I have no complaints. Seeing my daughters happy and healthy makes me a mother. As for the future life of helplessness, let it be left to fate.
In the days when my daughters tossed and turned, I began to understand a truth: the value of a person does not lie in whether she is a man or a woman, nor in how high her social status is, but in her moral cultivation.
I watched my daughters ignore me, and although I was a little disappointed, I never held a grudge against them. After all, they have all started their own families and have their own small families and children, and it is normal to focus on these aspects.
In contrast, I am more envious of families with sons. Their sons would always come back to visit their parents and bring them to live with them. But those of us who only have daughters are destined to be helpless in our old age.
However, I don't regret not having a son back then. Having children is just fate. It is important that we educate our children with love and cultivate good moral character, rather than blindly expecting them to be as filial to their parents as the "sons" of ancient times.
As long as my daughters can live happily ever after in the future, I, as a mother, will be content. As for my own future life, I will leave it to my fate. Anyway, I won't live much longer.
In this way, I tossed and turned from house to house of my daughters, living a wandering life. Sometimes I stayed at this daughter's house for a while, and sometimes I moved to another daughter's house. They either thought I was in the way, or they begged me to go back and help with the children.
My life wandered around my daughters' homes like this, like a dispensable "wandering spirit". But I don't resent them, because I know it's their unintentional fault. They have all started their own families and have their own small families and children, and it is normal to focus on these aspects.
I just hope that they will be able to live happily ever after, and that they will not be like me and their father, who are lonely and helpless. As long as they are happy and healthy, I, as a mother, will be satisfied.
As for my own future life, I will leave it to my fate. Anyway, I don't have many years to live, so why worry about it any more? I just hope that in my lifetime, I can see more of the smiling faces of my daughters and great-grandchildren, this is my old bone's greatest wish.