Teacher Zheng Wei's foreword:
After getting acquainted with her, I learned that she was sick, and she was sick everywhere, and she asked for medical advice everywhere but there was no cure, and I told her many times that she had a "heart disease".
This time, I finally found an opportunity to treat her heart disease, and when I left the Xiangqiu workshop, she seemed to be full of vitality.
Today I saw an article written by her, and I highly recommend it to everyone to read. Her essay is divided into two parts, the first part is the story of her life, and the second part is her struggle to redeem herself and the path to self-redemption. In particular, the content of the second part is very in-depth and goes straight to the root of the problem, and I believe that many people will have some insights and deep thoughts.
Through Xiangqiu's life story, we can understand the influence of the original family on a person's life, and at the same time, reading more life stories can improve our perception of life, awe and compassion. Through Xiangqiu's self-redemption, we can deeply understand the profound relationship between "love, ideals, faith, and strength".
In many cases, improving one's own realm and pattern is the fundamental way to solve current problems, especially family problems. Getting caught up in a problem and solving problems often fails to solve any problems and puts yourself in a more painful situation.
Xiangqiu began to truly understand the lyrics of the bloom, "The important thing is not what to solve, but the direction we pursue". Finally, I would like to say to Xiangqiu that "dedication" may put you in a worse situation, because when a person is not perfect enough, dedication will become a means to solve problems or a way to obtain value, which is not advisable.
Therefore, we should keep in mind that "in the dedication of Vipassana, in the Vipassana to obtain the power of faith", dedication is action, Vipassana is the fundamental, we strive to dedicate the external behavior in the family in the society, constantly look inside their true inner world, see themselves bit by bit, reduce their selfishness and desires, and overcome their own love and fear, this is the royal way.
What's the point of worrying about anxiety in life?
- In the vipassana of devotion,
Warm and empowering yourself
Text: Love and Happiness Family Wu Xiangqiu (Chongqing)
I saw the text about the ideal in Mr. Zheng Wei's blog very early, and Mr. Zheng Wei has repeatedly emphasized that we should think about this topic and write this article well, but I haven't started writing for a long time, I don't know if it is because of the internal lack of motivation, inertia, or I don't want to face this reason, so that I have to avoid it again and again, this problem that I have to face and think about in my life, and I am grateful for the reform of the seventeenth year, so that I have a real opportunity to face myself.
I am a person of extreme fear.
My mother was about to beat me up when she was pregnant, but she gave birth to me because of the persuasion of passers-by.
After I was born, I was afraid of my parents' abandonment because of my parents' "I am superfluous", and the seemingly casual jokes left a deep imprint on me from then on.
- Since then, he has lived in the shadow of his parents and sisters, and he has not dared to show his will.
- Every word they say makes me extremely sensitive,
- A casual word will hurt me deeply, deeply,
- I care about their every action,
- Every word,
- Every look,
- Carefully live in their shadows,
- In order to seek self-preservation, wrap yourself tightly,
- Hide far away,
- You can even hide in a corner from being seen by them,
- But the heart is becoming more and more fragile, more and more humble, so humble that it can burrow into the dust and not be discovered.
When there were guests at home, I hid in the corner and didn't come out, and I was sick and lying in bed without being known. My father's violent temper made me tremble, and I became more well-behaved for fear of his beating and scolding, and hearing my father's coughing sound from a distance would make me sit there obediently and dare not move.
When I was in elementary school, my two older sisters were admitted to a school with iron jobs, and my parents had to rely on my sisters' financial resources to ignore my existence. At school, I was afraid to speak up because I was often bullied by my male classmates because of my weakness. When I was a little older, I was old enough to wear my sister's ill-fitting clothes, and when I walked on the road, I was afraid of strange stares from passers-by, so I had to walk with my head down.
When I was in middle school, my house changed from the original flat tile house to a building, I lived alone in more than 100 square meters of upstairs, surrounded by cemeteries, the most afraid of every day is the arrival of the night, I am afraid that I often can't sleep, looking forward to the arrival of the day, the dawn of every morning can make me sleep quietly for a while.
When I was 12 years old, my nephew was born, and the birth of a small life was the beginning of my destruction of my young mind. After giving birth, my sister was pampered like a princess, and I waited for their mother and son like Cinderella, washing my nephew's diaper after school, feeding my nephew before eating, and giving the best to my nephew.
So, I studied as hard as I could. I want to get out of this home early and prove myself early. When I took the high school entrance examination, I chose to take the secondary school in other places, and I was afraid that I would not be able to pass the exam, the more I was worried and afraid, the more I could not pass the exam. This fear has been a nightmare even after many years of work, in which I have failed exams and is awakened.
Desire and fear are twin brothers, and my excessive fear means that I have strong desires.
- After getting married, I ask my husband for love, but the love is not passed on to the children, and I care for and pay attention to the children excessively, and take the children as the center.
- I want to raise my children to be the ideal person in my mind, and I want to use my children to prove my worth and prove my existence, but it backfires, and everything is not going in the direction I want.
- Because I tried hard to prove myself, causing the family ethics to be abnormal, and not turning the world upside down is already God's greatest favor for me.
After work, I ran all the way on the black line of desire and fear. When I was tired and wanted to rest, the injuries I suffered in the workplace had already caused various symptoms in my body, and at this time, I began to fear death again. I was so scared that I didn't dare to be at home alone, and I didn't dare to go out alone.
Entangled his life with his husband, and asked for endless love from his husband in a sick way. In fact, I have long projected my husband as a shadow of my father, and I am afraid of him and want to get from him what I didn't get from my original family.
Coming to the class of Graduate 17, I saw that I had been living in the pain of the past, holding on to the pain brought by my original family, clinging to my own feelings, and my heart had long been wrapped in fear and desire, and covered with dust. The love for her husband is also like a bottomless abyss, what a terrible thing this is, if you don't add a bottom to yourself in this abyss, the consequences are unimaginable. It's time to clean up your heart, clean your heart, and see your original innocent heart.
Improving my own pattern, making myself full of strength and beauty is what I want to do at the moment, just like walking on a single-plank bridge, it is better to walk easily and happily than to finish with fear and fear, even if I fall down and start all over again, can't my life be like this? What is the point of worrying and worrying about ending my life? It is better to make this process full of joy, emotion and beauty.
If life is to be full of beauty, we must have ideals.
Ideals are related to love, to practice and selflessness. When I don't think too much about myself, when I don't attach myself to my ego, I will have strength, when I have strength, I will have faith, with faith, I will have hope, and if I have hope, I will have ideals.
Think about why you don't have ideals?
- Because there is no love, in fact, love is everywhere, it is all around me, but I don't feel love.
- Because my shell is too thick, cultivation is to break the shell, and when the shell is broken, I feel love, and I have to cultivate little by little in my actual life, so that the logic, thoughts, and attachments in my mind are thrown away.
- Light up your own heart lamp, let yourself become a conductor to receive love, give love, connect the islands one by one, and become a big energy field.
Since childhood, I have a beautiful feeling, I want to make the world a better place, imagine the world as a beautiful garden, everyone is so comfortable to live, talk and laugh, there is no fighting, people live in harmony.
Isn't my childhood dream the building of love and happiness? I feel deeply honored to be a part of it, perhaps because I have accumulated a blessing from my previous life.
I want to grow up through the study of love, make my little family happy, help everyone, and contribute to our country, isn't this my childhood ideal? It's just that in the process of growing up, I slowly blurred my eyes, and I was grateful to meet love and happiness, so that I could regain my ideals, let me continue to grow myself on the basis of doing things in love and happiness, and make myself more powerful to become a volunteer for this country, this society, and the people around me.
I want to be grateful for giving without asking for anything in return as the direction and goal of my actions, I want to be grateful to myself without asking for anything in return, I want to be grateful to my husband and son without asking for anything in return, I want to be grateful to my relatives without asking for anything in return, I want to be grateful to my friends without asking for anything in return, and I want to be grateful to everyone I meet without asking for anything in return...... ，
If I follow this direction, at home and in Chongqing, then my life will be very beautiful, if I drive the people around me to change together, then the world will also be better because of me?
The only way to make yourself warm and powerful is to give.
I am grateful to the seventeenth graduate school and to Mr. Zheng Wei for letting me see my direction clearly.
(End of full text)
The intellectual property rights of this article belong to Love and Happiness!