If you had one word to describe your emotions at this time, what would you use?
Emotions, like an invisible hand that controls our lives, have an influence everywhere. When emotions are not seen, unnoticed, or released, they can even alert us in the form of an attack on the immune system. For example, many women have problems with the breasts and uterus, which are actually more or less related to emotions. So, don't ignore the reminders that emotions give us.
Many people often say, "It's someone else's problem, it's the environment...... That's why my emotions ...... "But if I think like this, I put control of my emotions in the hands of someone else." In fact, emotional states can be adjusted through self-training.
Today, let's focus on ourselves, 3 ways to help you take control of your emotions and become the master of your emotions.
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Record your emotions
Have you ever been in a situation like this:
Before anything happens, I start to frown, tighten my scalp, or feel anxious. Or the understatement in other people's mouths is a suspense blockbuster in my heart: "Why does he show me this expression? Does he hate me?" "I always feel that something is wrong lately, is there something bad going on?" "Should I do this thing or not?Will it achieve good results after doing it?" ......
These are all diffuse anxiety, to put it simply, habitual anxiety, a kind of mental internal friction.
Mental internal friction, also known as psychological internal friction, is to compete and fight with oneself in one's heart. It's like the mobile phone battery has just been fully charged, and it hasn't been used for long, just because there are too many programs running inside the phone, and the red light will soon turn on, announcing that the battery is out. In the long run, people will feel very tired. Those unspeakable tiredness is not physical exertion, but mental exertion.
If there are many similar self-attacks, you will feel very anxious and have difficulty concentrating, but the more you do this, the louder the attack will be, and in a vicious circle, people will become more and more anxious.
So, you need to face up to the message behind these voices. When we are aware of the source and impact of these sounds, it is easier to understand the tangles in life and to deal with inner distractions more securely.
To become aware of your inner voice, you can do these two steps:
1
Self-observation
Be aware of your inner voices, such as your feelings, emotions, beliefs, and attitudes, so that you can better understand your inner situation, become aware of different inner voices, and learn to recognize and react to them.
You can try this "self-emotional record list", which can help you better understand your emotional state, emotional change patterns, and emotional expressions, which can help improve your emotional stability and promote mental health. You can also modify and optimize the list according to your personal situation to make the list more suitable for your needs.
Image source: "Not Tired: A Super Simple Energy Management Lesson"
2
Self-acceptance
When confronted with different voices, we need to recognize the relationships and differences between these voices. Master your inner state and the rules of emotional activity, and deal with the contradictions and conflict points between different voices with a positive attitude.
First of all, we need to admit that internal friction objectively exists. Don't try to run away from it or deny it. Second, find out the internal friction points and the beliefs behind them.
Reasonable beliefs cause people to have moderate emotional and behavioral reactions to things, while irrational beliefs, on the contrary, often lead to undesirable emotional and behavioral reactions. This is the ABC theory of emotions proposed by psychologist Albert Ellis.
External stimulus event A, through the mechanism of intermediate process (i.e., belief B about the event in our minds), produces different emotional and behavioral consequences C. Therefore, if belief B does not change, our behavior will not change.
The ABC theory of emotions. Image source: "Not Tired: A Super Simple Energy Management Lesson"
Unreasonable beliefs include the following three aspects:
(1) Absolute. They believe that things must go their way, so they often absolutize words such as "hope" and "want" into words such as "must" or "must". For example: "I have to be the skinniest person!"
(2) Overgeneralization. It's a generalized way of thinking. It often overgeneralizes "sometimes" and "some" to "always" and "all". For example: "I can't do anything well." ”
(3) It feels terrible. To think that if something bad happens, it will be very scary and bad. For example: "If I get a little fatter, people will dislike me." ”
In order to deal with irrational beliefs, Ellis added D (disputing) - the process of refuting irrational beliefs with reasonable beliefs - and E (effect) - refuting success to produce cognitive effects and new ideas on the basis of the ABC theory of emotions.
Through the ABCDE theory of emotions, we can discover our irrational beliefs. By challenging our own irrational beliefs, we can find more rational and effective ways of thinking and beliefs that can change bad emotions and behaviors.
Finally, if you can't find a better solution for the time being, don't waste your energy on fighting the problem, because confrontation often brings more consumption.
Relax your muscles
Many times, psychological problems lead to physical problems, and physical problems can also react psychologically. For example, anxiety can trigger conditions such as insomnia, difficulty concentrating, memory loss, loss of appetite, palpitation, chest tightness, dizziness and headaches. In the same way, the state of the body can also directly or indirectly affect people's attitudes and emotions.
Doctor Edmund Jacobson said, "When our bodies are relaxed, our spirits are not anxious. He invented a relaxation technique, the progressive muscle relaxation method, in which people can experience different sensations of tension and relaxation by repeatedly contracting and relaxing the main muscles of the body, so as to better understand the tension response and relax, and finally achieve the effect of physical and mental relaxation.
Now, let's feel it together~
As part of your formal progressive muscle relaxation practice, you can use abdominal breathing to slowly regulate your breathing. Allow your body to gradually relax, inhale deeply, and exhale slowly.
As you inhale, lift your forehead muscles up as much as you can, tense sufficiently, and then tense again, holding for 10 seconds as you inhale, then exhale and relax. Do you feel the relaxation of your forehead? This movement can be repeated 5 times.
Next, while inhaling deeply, try to furrow your brow for 10 seconds, then exhale and relax. Do you feel a relaxed feeling between your eyebrows? Again, this movement can be repeated 5 times.
Next, while inhaling deeply, keep your mouth as wide as possible for 10 seconds, then exhale and relax. Do you feel the masseter muscles relaxing? Again, this can be repeated 5 times.
Next, while inhaling deeply, shrug your shoulders upwards as far as you can for 10 seconds. Then exhale and relax. Do you feel your shoulders relaxing? This can be repeated 5 times
And so on, relax the muscles of the whole body from head to toe. When your body relaxes, you will find that your emotions are magically relaxed.
You can find a comfortable position, but try not to fall asleep, which is conducive to experiencing the feeling of complete relaxation. Try to loosen your clothing and remove unnecessary accessories to avoid being disturbed in the process. You can also record the relaxation step first and enter the state along with the audio.
Before practicing, you can look at your body to find the areas of focus. For example, anxious people often frown, so they will feel very tight in the forehead muscles, and you can focus on this area when practicing.
You can refer to the "Muscle Relaxation Assessment Checklist" to help you better review the results of your training:
Image source: "Not Tired: A Super Simple Energy Management Lesson"
In daily life, even if you don't have the conditions to relax your whole body, you can find time for local muscle relaxation exercises, which can also bring about a relaxing effect.
Organize your environment
Is there a relationship between the environment and energy management? Yes, and it's very large.
Studies have found that chaotic environments can invisibly weaken a person's sense of self-control. That said, the more cluttered the room, the less binding you are to yourself, and the easier it is for you to make some impulsive, irrational behavioral decisions.
If you want to adjust your external environment, then you can think about the lifestyle you want and your inner expectations for your home, the more detailed the better.
Once you know what you want to live in, the next step is to find a way to do it. There are many different methods and genres in the field of organizing, and we can choose the one that suits us according to our personal preferences.
For example, Gail Blanke, a life coach, recommends starting with 50 unwanted items. For example, a sock with only one left, clothes that haven't been worn in years, lipstick that has dried up, things that give you negative energy, and things that you don't know why...... It is possible to make a list of what you leave behind.
Eiko Yamashita, a Japanese storage expert, mentioned that the selection criteria were: necessary, suitable and pleasant. Cut off what you never need, get rid of excess waste, and get rid of attachment to things. Be honest about your relationship with yourself and your belongings, and discard what you don't need at the moment, which will make you more aware of your lifestyle and style.
Another storage expert, Marie Kondo, came up with a criterion: ask yourself if the item still makes your heart flutter. You can pile things out and feel for yourself if you feel like it's still ticking. You may find something you've forgotten for so long, and you don't even remember it existing. It's also a way to completely "turn your consciousness out".
If you're still struggling to make a decision, the simplest rule is: If you got a sum of money now, would you still buy it?
This method may seem simple and crude, but it is practical and effective. Because deep down you must know what you really want. By decluttering, your brain will become clearer and your perception will become sharper.
Not just books, cosmetics, jewelry, and clothing, but you don't really need too many friends, just leave something that makes you feel excited.
"Don't Get Tired: A Super Simple Energy Management Lesson"
China Science and Technology Press
China Atomic Energy Press
author
Ishabe
Do you have any of these problems?
Every day, I feel exhausted, I don't want to do anything, I want to be paralyzed and don't move; I sit in the office every day when I go to work, blowing the air conditioner, and I don't do physical work, but I am still physically and mentally exhausted; I have a one-month deadline for completing the tasks assigned by the leader, but each time I don't start to do it all night until the evening of the day after Z.
Life is not a sprint, it's a marathon. Only those who move forward steadily can go fast and well.
At present, many people ignore the importance of exercise, and have problems such as wrong eating habits and insomnia. The author proposes an ultra-simple energy management method, through 8 lessons such as self-exploration, emotion management, and attention management, to help readers master the methods of scientific energy management, so as to welcome an energetic life and no longer be tired.
Planning and production
Source丨Book "Not Tired: Super Simple Energy Management Lesson", China Science and Technology Press, China Atomic Energy Press