Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
Before we meet love, we have a beautiful vision of love, and after we encounter love, we often suffer from gains and losses, and we are afraid that the person we fall in love with is not true for ourselves, but a game of false feelings.
Women are even more so in love, always trying to judge whether a man really loves him and whether he is worthy of entrusting himself with his life through various clues.
To judge a man's sincerity, we must not only look at his behavior, but also look at what he subconsciously says to you.
If a man dares to say the following three things to you, then he may not love you as much as you think.
01
"Can you please stop being so annoying?"
When you excitedly share the bits and pieces of your life with him, or ask him about his feelings and thoughts with concern, his attitude always seems impatient.
Even blurts out to you: "Can you not be so annoying?" then this is likely a sign that his feelings for you have begun to cool down.
Ah Zi recently discovered that her boyfriend's attitude towards her was getting colder and colder. Whenever she wants to talk to her boyfriend and share with him the interesting things she encountered, her boyfriend is always absent-minded and extremely perfunctory.
Either she didn't respond, or she would say "Are you annoying" fiercely, it was like a basin of cold water poured on Ah Zi's head, so that she didn't even have the enthusiasm to say a word more, which made Ah Zi feel very hurt.
Tu Lei once said: "Wholehearted dedication can be exchanged for moving, but it may not be exchanged for heartbeat." The companionship of getting along day and night may produce feelings, but it may not produce love. ”
The boyfriend's coldness and impatience with Ah Zi is precisely because his feelings for Ah Zi have changed.
Perhaps, he no longer loves Ah Zi as deeply as before, so he can no longer listen to her voice patiently as before.
02
"You don't have to worry about me. ”
When a man starts saying to you frequently, "I don't have to worry about my business", it probably means that he is alienating you and does not want you to interfere too much in his life.
This situation often occurs when there is a rift in the relationship, or his feelings for you have faded.
Juanzi has been with her boyfriend for two years, but recently she found that her boyfriend has become more and more mysterious, often going out alone, and caring less and less about her.
When she tried to communicate with her boyfriend and ask him where he had been and what he had been busy with recently, her boyfriend always replied to her with "I don't have to worry about my business", and Juan Zi was speechless in one sentence.
Schopenhauer said: "After being misinterpreted by others, you can choose to be angry or you can choose to smile, usually the power of a smile will be greater, because a smile will shake the other person's heart, and the open-mindedness revealed will make the other person feel small and ugly." ”
However, in the face of her boyfriend's indifference and estrangement, Juanzi found it difficult to keep smiling. She began to wonder if the relationship was still necessary.
In fact, when a man starts to hold back on you and doesn't let you ask him about it, you are actually not that important to him.
03
"If you think so, I can't help it. ”
When there is a misunderstanding or disagreement between you, a man who truly loves you will explain well and dispel your doubts, instead of throwing down the sentence "If you want to think so, I can't help it" and get hurt alone.
This attitude is actually a kind of evasion, he is unwilling to face problems, and he is not willing to try to solve these contradictions for the sake of your relationship. To a certain extent, it is also a neglect of this feeling, and I no longer care.
For example, you find that your boyfriend's mobile phone has some ambiguous chats with the opposite sex, which makes you feel very uneasy and uncomfortable, so you ask your boyfriend what is going on.
But the boyfriend said indifferently: "That's just a friend I just met, we don't have anything." If you think so, I can't help it. With that, he turned and left, leaving you speechless.
A man who truly loves you will give you a clear explanation when faced with your doubts, rather than prevaricating you with an inconsequential word. He will respect your feelings and will not leave you alone with your thoughts.
When a man dares to say these three things to you, it means that his feelings for you may not be as deep as you imagined.
As Zhang Ailing said in "Red Roses and White Roses":
"If a person is not available, it is because he does not want to be free, if a person can't leave, it is because he does not want to leave, and if a person makes too many excuses to you, it is because he does not want to care. ”
At this time, you need to calmly think about whether there is still a need for the relationship to continue.
Love is mutual, and if the other party has lost their cherishing and devotion to this love, then there is no need to force it anymore.