Seeing an interview with Ma Li, I think it is difficult for women not to resonate: I used to be a person with low self-esteem, I always wanted to live as others wanted, all actresses are so thin, what should I do if I am so fat? It's all what you want, I'll do it.
I used to be afraid to go out without makeup, I felt that I had spots on my face, I wore a very thick foundation, and I thought that if I covered others, I would think that I was beautiful, but in fact, this was a very unconfident performance, and it didn't look good when I drew it.
Suddenly one day I figured out, why should I live for you? Why should I wear clothes in size S? I always wanted to cut my hair short, but I didn't cut it because I always thought about other people's feelings, but that time I told myself, I want to live again, I want to be myself, I don't want to think about others anymore, so I cut my hair!
Now Ma Li, who has survived her inferiority complex and timidity, has gone through the inner storm, and is becoming more mature and confident, which is really good-looking!
01
Ma Li's experience is not her alone. On the road of most women's growth, low self-esteem and internal friction are inescapable.
Seeing such a question: Why are girls prone to low self-esteem? Many girls in the comments replied to the inferiority complex that they carefully concealed in their lives:
When you meet someone you like, you feel like you can't do anywhere;
If only I could be a little prettier;
If there are many people, they are reluctant to speak, and they don't know what to do or say in front of people who are better than themselves, and they are at a loss;
Every time I take a photo, I purse my mouth, in fact, because I always feel bad when I have front teeth. Then once someone joked about it, it suddenly poked at the inferiority complex deep in my heart......
Why is there such an inferiority complex large and small? A highly praised comment gives the answer:
Because many people around her are hitting her self-confidence! Old, fat, ugly, not white enough, bad skin, bad personality...... The oppression from her parents, the harsh criticism from her relatives, and the exclusion of her peers around her all made her always in the panic of being scrutinized and then self-doubting.
Therefore, when others always think that a girl is cold, what I want to say is that in fact, there is no coldness, it is all inferiority deeply engraved in the bones!
Afraid of being approached, afraid of being scrutinized, afraid of being evaluated, they had to hide in a thick armor to make themselves feel better and safer, and to give others the feeling that "people should not be approached", in fact, they "longed to be understood".
02
Low self-esteem, in the eyes of most people, it is a shortcoming, a negative feeling, but in fact, low self-esteem is neutral, and almost everyone will have it to a greater or lesser extent.
Psychologist Adler said well in his book "Inferiority and Transcendence" that what is an "inferiority complex"? If a person feels powerless when faced with a thorny problem, the resulting emotion is called an inferiority complex. And a person becomes a better version of himself, which is accomplished by transcending the "inferiority complex" again and again.
To put it simply, low self-esteem can be improved, even overcome and surpassed.
Especially as women, we must remove the labels given by the outside world, get out of inferiority, live a life that we choose actively, and live the true value of women.
So how can you overcome low self-esteem? Here are 3 suggestions:
1. Accept and love yourself.
First, you need to recognize that everyone is unique in their own way, including your appearance, personality, abilities, and more. Accept your imperfections and cherish what makes you different. Don't always try to pander to other people's expectations, but learn to love yourself and respect your feelings and choices. As you begin to accept and love yourself, you will find that your inferiority complex is slowly waning.
2. Set achievable goals
Don't set yourself too high goals, as this will only make you feel inferior when you don't reach them. Instead, set small, achievable goals and work your way up to them. Whenever you accomplish a goal, you will feel a sense of accomplishment that will help you build self-confidence and gradually overcome your inferiority complex.
3. Focus on your own growth
Don't always focus on your shortcomings and shortcomings, but focus on your own growth and progress. Everyone has their own strengths and strengths, as well as areas that can be improved and promoted. Try to learn new skills, develop new hobbies, and enrich your life. When you see your growth and progress, you will feel more confident and fulfilled, and your inferiority complex will decrease accordingly.
Some netizens shared that reading more and traveling more, knowing more will not be inferior, when I was a child, my parents were patriarchal and had serious inferiority, and when I grew up, I learned to read thousands of books, travel thousands of miles, and do charity, I feel that I am becoming more and more perfect, valuable and meaningful.
Here I also recommend you to further read the classic book "Inferiority and Transcendence" by the master of psychology Adler, which will allow you to understand inferiority, understand your potential shadows and defects, break the shackles of inferiority, and then treat life with a correct attitude and surpass yourself, improve your life status, and slowly improve yourself.
Low self-esteem and transcendence ¥28 purchase
As the saying goes, one of the signs of a person's maturity is to understand that 99% of what happens to them every day means nothing to others. ”
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The more you cater to the eyes of others, the more you will fall into inferiority complex and internal friction, as everyone knows, life is your own feelings, not the evaluation of others, not to mention the fact that you don't have so many audiences.
You are the master of your own life, and loving yourself is the beginning of lifelong achievement. What kind of person you want to be and what kind of life you want to live, you must be brave enough to stand in the ring of life and work hard until you can't do anything.
There is a sentence in "The Journey of Life" that is very good, share it with you, and encourage you:
The spark is not the goal of life, the moment you want to live, the spark is already ignited!