Written by / First Psychology Writers
Editor / Tommy
With the popularity of social media, Moments has become a new platform for us to share the moments of our daily lives. In this way, we can not only get to know others quickly, but also shorten the distance between them.
However, the development of the Internet has always had two sides, it brought convenience to our lives, but also invisibly amplified people's desires and nature.
Every like and comment on social media is undoubtedly an affirmation and encouragement for the publisher.
One way is to post something that is easy for the public to accept and interesting, and the other is to engage in something unusual to attract attention.
The world is impermanent, and birth, old age, sickness and death are natural laws.
When a family member passes away, it is a heavy blow and deep sadness for the living.
At such times, some people choose to be silent, some people choose to cry, and some people choose to express their grief in the circle of friends.
Many people believe that posting the news of the death of a loved one on the circle of friends is disrespectful to the deceased.
They believe that since people have passed away for a long time, we should let them go in peace, rather than let the deceased come into focus again in this way.
Silence and seriousness in dealing with the aftermath of loved ones is the true respect for the deceased.
As a result, those who publicly share this great grief in their circle of friends are often despised.
In fact, no matter from which point of view, the act of sharing the trivial things of one's personal life to the circle of friends is to a large extent to attract the attention of others, and this behavior is actually satisfying the individual's need to be respected and recognized.
根据马斯洛的需求层次理论（Maslow's hierarchy of needs），
People naturally crave respect and recognition from others.
Therefore, those who share the news of the death of their loved ones to their circle of friends are actually satisfying this inner need.
This is somewhat of a selfish act, as it is primarily about satisfying self-needs, whether emotional or social.
Psychologist Adler believes that people have an inferiority complex in nature, and he put forward two concepts of "pursuit of superiority" and "inferiority and compensation" in his theory, which are based on the inferiority nature of people.
For those who make the information of the deceased public, it may just be an ordinary thing in their daily life, and they will share it with their circle of friends just like other small everyday things.
Often, the subject of such behaviour is young and immature who may not yet be fully aware of the impact it may have on themselves or the deceased.
By sharing such heavy events with their circle of friends, they are able to gain the understanding and empathy of others at most, which can make them more tolerant.
There is no doubt that for them, the circle of friends has become a place to release their emotions and a way to be understood.
It is instinctive for human beings to seek the approval and approval of others, and we do not need to be overly critical of this.
They are simply pursuing this recognition in an extreme way, although it seems a bit silly.
In real life, not everyone chooses to share the news of their loved one's death on social media in pursuit of recognition and respect from others.
Some people speed up their recovery from loss by sharing their circle of friends, as not everyone can accept the death of a loved one in a short period of time.
For these people, this process of adaptation takes a while, and in the moment of their loved one's death, they may be very calm, tearless and emotionless, which leads outsiders to misinterpret them as cold and unfeeling, when in fact, they have not really accepted this reality in their hearts.
Over time, and after getting used to it, they may choose to post a circle of friends a few days later as a sign of acceptance of the matter.
心理学家费斯丁格(Festinger)提出,
Cognitive dissonance occurs when an individual's actions are at odds with their thoughts, a state that can make people feel uneasy.
But once the act is done, they have to adjust their emotions in order to relieve the discomfort in their hearts.
Not everyone can feel deep grief and pain immediately after the death of a loved one, and many people have a sudden emotional breakdown when they see a piece of clothing left behind in the washing machine, or when they find something that the deceased has used.
As the saying goes, death is not the end, but oblivion.
At the moment when the deceased leaves, the grief and pain that we have not expressed often stem from resistance and avoidance of reality.
For those who post on Moments, such behavior may represent a new beginning, showing that they have fully accepted this reality.
Emotional isolation is a core concept in Bowen's Feamily Therapy,
Refers to individuals who experience a major blow or intense emotional conflict in the family system and activate the brain's automatic isolation mechanism to protect themselves from excessive emotional influences.
This segregation mechanism is a natural protective response of the person. Human nature is indeed complex and changeable, and everyone understands death differently and remembers their deceased loved ones differently.
To some, sharing the news of a loved one's death may seem disrespectful, but for publishers, this act may be their way of facing reality and starting to heal.
Therefore, those who share the news of the death of a loved one on their social media are not necessarily motivated by a desire to gain sympathy or attention from others, or perhaps because they have not yet fully accepted the reality, which is justified to a certain extent.
Regardless of the psychology, the act of sharing information about a deceased loved one on a circle of friends may seem disrespectful in some cases, but if it is simply to express nostalgia and accept reality, we don't need to be too strict about it.
The End -
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Keywords in this article: personal psychology, psychology
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