Zhenxin Town Xiaomao | wen
In 2015, online game anchor Li Gan organized Sun Xiaochuan and others to set up 6324 Abstract Studio for live broadcasting. Since then, an online subculture called "abstract culture" has developed among its audience.
In 2024, the ninth year of the Abstract Era, Team 6324 has long since fallen apart. The founder Li Gan became popular with football traffic, and the representative Sun Xiaochuan was angry again after the "millet porridge" accident. But abstract culture has been completely decentralized, permeating every corner of the Chinese internet.
So, yes, kids. In the beginning, Kobe Bryant was just a basketball player.
Kobe Bryant was born on August 23, 1978. In the 1996 NBA draft, Kobe Bryant was selected as a high school student at the age of 17, and played for the Lakers in his 20-year career, leading the team to win 5 NBA championships, and is recognized as one of the greatest players in history.
However, Kobe's high popularity and influence come more from his identity as a "spiritual idol". Fans generally believe that Kobe's talent is not the top, and he can achieve such an achievement because his love and devotion to his career are unmatched, extremely tough, extremely hard-working, much like the protagonist of a teenager's hot-blooded comic. The young men who inherited the "Mamba spirit" in later generations are also known as "Kobe disciples" and "this son has the legacy of the boss".
However, the amazing thing is that we find that as the years go by and the younger generation grows into the main force of the Internet, Kobe Bryant is still the most discussed and photographed sports star. No, maybe we shouldn't call this man a sports star anymore, because people have given him a new, more catchy, popular title:
Prison size.
Everyone was thinking about him with tears in their eyes, and everyone was grinning when they saw him. So later, the sense of existence of the prison became stronger and stronger, the helicopter can be the prison, the iced tea can be the prison, and the spiritual guy with the shaved head can also be the prison.
You may wonder why the old fans don't fight back fiercely in the face of such inexplicable humiliation. But in fact, before the wave of meme, the wave of criticism is like a glass of water sprinkled on the sea, and eventually it is assimilated by the sea and becomes part of the waves.
It has been said that a person dies three times in his life. The first time was when he died, biologically he died, the second time when he was buried, people came to his funeral, remembering his life, and in society he died, and the third time was the last person who remembered him, forgetting him, and then he was really dead.
Perhaps the man named Kobe Bryant is finally leaving us, leaving behind an empty shell called "Prison Big" to carry the abstract spirit that overflows into nowhere.
But if you want to understand what exactly made Kobe Bryant from a spiritual idol to a "prison big", you might as well follow in my footsteps and turn back to the beginning of the Chinese Internet chronicle. Not only can you relive Kobe Bryant's magnificent life, but you'll also see how our online world has "evolved" from a troll-infested wasteland to a smoky and harmful factory.
From 2001 to 2002, with the "Three Great Walls" of the Chinese men's basketball team, Wang Zhizhi, Battle and Yao Ming successively landed in the NBA, the popularity of basketball in China ushered in explosive growth. In 2004, Michael Jordan, who had just retired from the army, came to Beijing, during which the city set off an unprecedented basketball boom. Different from any other sports star's "trip to China", the domestic mainstream media defined Jordan's visit to China as a "visit to China".
However, in this wave of basketball fever that has swept the country, the star who has gained the most traffic and die-hard fans is not Michael Jordan, who has retired, or even Yao Ming, who has a "bulky" style of play, but Kobe Bryant, who is at his peak and has an excellent style of play.
The picture on the right is directed by Zhang Weiping, a senior sports commentator of CCTV, who was ridiculed as "Weiping Bryant" by domestic fans because of his obvious preference for Kobe Bryant
If you want to talk about how popular Kobe Bryant is in China, it is easy to write hundreds of thousands of words, so let's just stop there, and we will turn the topic to the cyber world.
In the first decade of the new millennium, UCG platforms such as Douyin, Weibo, and Xiaohongshu had not yet been born, and the bulk of Chinese Internet traffic was still the portal of various companies. Information is disseminated in such a way that people basically only see what the news editors of the portal write, so it is easy to take people's attention in strange directions. Oh yes, it doesn't seem to make a difference now.
However, people's imagination and creativity are by no means limited by the times and technology, but only in different forms. At that time, it was an era of jokers for the whole people. Extremely talented and enthusiastic young people gather in the news comment section of the portal, and of course, the content is dominated by black blowing wars. After all, from what I've observed, you humans are strange creatures that can't survive without fighting.
Kobe Bryant, who is popular TOP, and has extremely distinct black spots and advantages, is the best carrier of joker culture.
In the eyes of Kuroko, Kobe Bryant has two major black spots on the court, one is that he plays alone, likes to shoot waves, has a low shooting rate, and has contributed a miracle of 47 shots and 17 shots in a single game. "47 votes and 17 hits" bar has also been the base camp of Baidu Tieba Kehei for a long time.
Later, domestic fans called the sound of a missed shot hitting the basket as "striking iron", and then derived stalks such as "three backs into two irons" and "four backs into three irons" on Kobe. And because Kobe Bryant lived in Italy when he was a child, and Jay Chou's album "Octave Space" has an R&B song "Milan's Little Blacksmith", the relationship between the two has also become a relish joke.
But it is worth mentioning that compared with the "ball-holding core" players represented by James, Doncic, Harden, etc., Kobe Bryant's ball-holding time in the offense is actually at a low level, and the average number of assists per game is among the best in the division. Therefore, this is actually just a stereotype formed by playing with memes for a long time, just like you all think that Ding Zhen only smokes e-cigarettes and opposes traditional cigarettes.
Another big black spot of Kobe Bryant is his "iron elbow". Kobe Bryant likes tough physical confrontation in the game, and has left many legends of "iron elbow magic", such as "Yao Ming retired due to injury because he was hacked by Kobe", which made many fans hate Kobe.
However, the actual situation is that Yao Ming was hit by Kobe Bryant in the 2009 playoffs in the right knee of his right leg, and the reason for his retirement was that he suffered a stress fracture of his left ankle. At that time, the NBA encouraged physical confrontation, and most of the players had a tough style, and elbowing and elbowing were commonplace.
Of course, the key event that made Kobe Bryant "jailed" was that he was really prosecuted for rape. The Midsummer Night in Eagle County in 2003 is well known, and at least the police department's evidence proves that Kobe Bryant did it. At that time, Kobe Bryant was in a hurry and said "I should do something like O'Neal to give money", and for this reason, a big meme was derived, "Shaq also did it (XX also did it)".
Synthesizing countless black materials, countless science and black brainstorming created a huge masterpiece "The Boss Did His Best" was born. This five-word quatrain not only liquidates Kobe's various "crimes", but also satirizes the celebrity fan circle culture bitterly.
Under the pen of different jokers, there are more than N versions of "The Boss Did His Best". For example, in one of the versions, there are two sentences:
was hacked off the field, but it was too public;
More handsome than Yang Yi and stronger than Ke Fan.
At first glance, there is nothing wrong with it, but if you pronounce "stronger than Kefan" upside down, you will find that what a drunkard means is not alcohol.
In addition to "The Boss Did His Best", there is also a popular Kehei joke: "He is XX" series. Without further ado, copy and paste a few examples to make it clear.
He, born in the 96th draft, ten years ago, he fought with Jordan and Iverson, in recent years he has fought with James and Durant, and once he and O'Neal started the Lakers treble, and Gasol was proud of the 0910 season. If one day he is too old, he can't shoot accurately, and he hits too much iron, please don't scold him, don't boo him, after all, his past is so brilliant, he is the eternal god in our hearts, he is - Derek Fisher.
One of Bryant's teammates
He, who became famous with the Lakers, dedicated his peak to the Lakers after the sharks swam east, and although his peak failed to overlap with the team's peak, he never gave up. His precise jump shots, flowing ball style, and handsome face make him the target of boys and girls. He once had a beautiful love affair, but it turned out to be a big surprise. He finally won two consecutive championships with the help of Gasol in 0910 and completed the Phoenix Nirvana. If one day, he doesn't fight in the NBA, please don't hack him, after all, he was so brilliant, he is the eternal god in our hearts - Sasha Vujasic.
Ditto. Vujacic was engaged to Sharapova and later broke up
But if you watch the game often, you will know that during the period from 2010 to 2020, Kobe's online reviews gradually picked up, and it can even be said to be quite good. So how did Kobe Bryant save his reputation? It boils down to one thing: give it your all and dedicate all your energy to the team. Fans have been hacked for so many years, and they found that this person really lives like the protagonist of an inspirational movie, and compared with himself who was polluted by society when he grew up, his heart was somewhat shaken.
Oh yes, in the middle, Kobe Bryant and Banana Jun collided and became the star of the ghost animal area of Station B.
On April 14, 2016, Kobe Bryant faced the Jazz in the curtain call of his career, scoring 60 points on 22-of-50 shooting, and personally invested in the final shot to lead the team to a comeback victory. During the curtain call, Bryant became emotional and left the phrase "What can i say, mamba out".
On January 26, 2020, Bryant was killed in a helicopter accident at the age of 41. When the news broke, the world was shocked, many governments issued eulogies, and fans spontaneously organized mourning activities.
People thought it was the end of the legend, but in fact it was the beginning of another story. Because at this time, in the Far East country on the other side of the ocean, there is still about one and a half years before the hell joke suddenly becomes popular.
Welcome to a new era.
In 2021, there was a sudden boom in Chinese internet jokes about hell. These jokes often feature other people's tragedies, disabilities, or racism, natural disasters, etc. Hell jokes are in complete conflict with the traditional Chinese concept of respecting the deceased, but unexpectedly harvesting a huge number of people in this land.
At first, hell jokes were only popular in a small area on Baidu Tieba. But in the second half of 2021, someone combined Kobe Bryant with the helicopter character Tornado in the domestic animation "The Adventures of Lolo", and gave birth to the famous stalk "Lightning Whirlwind Split" that was out of the circle.
Yes, kids, it's not funny. But from the perspective of playing stalks, I can't help but admire that the lightning whirlwind split is a genius level, which perfectly integrates the cause of Kobe's death, and uses old animation as a carrier to set off mankind's unremitting exploration of the Renaissance.
It's just that I didn't expect that since the beginning of the new era, the human mind has become chaotic and unpredictable. It seems that someone has released a toxin in cyberspace that can catalyze hatred, and overnight, people become behaving abnormally, rice noodles are lost, and the era of hell jokes surrounding Kobe Bryant's second creation suddenly begins.
At the same time as the lightning whirlwind exploded, Baidu NBA Bar set off a wave of NBA "Hades Hall". The homepage of Tieba became black and white, and the NBA stars who were alive and well on the court one second died in Tieba the next second. Internet residents are increasingly tasting the sweetness of death.
As a result, people discovered the potential of the Bryant Terrier and continued to dig deeper, as if it were an untapped gold mine. At that time, there was a post in the NBA bar that launched a poll, and the options were "Little Pudding" and "Resurrect Kobe", and the result was that 90% of people voted for wanting a delicious Little Pudding. Since then, the "Kobe Bryant< Little Pudding" sticker bar inequality was born.
For another example, Kobe's English name Kobe is derived from the "Kobe" of Kobe steak in Japan. And Kobe died in the crash, and smoke billowed from the accident site, so there was a magical equation of Kobe = Kobe = steak = barbecue.
In addition, the explosion of Kobe Bryant Terrier is also related to one of the superpowers of human beings. Because according to my observations, in recent years, there seems to be a popular thing called "resurrection matches", where someone mysteriously disappears for a period of time and then suddenly comes back, which makes people scratch their heads.
At this time, the barrage will brush up one after another, "I miss you". It seems that the heavens have answered people's prayers, and soon someone wearing Kobe's head will come out and say the "boys, I'm back" that everyone wants to hear.
The snowflake-like "I miss you in prison" seems to make people gradually forget Kobe and his various experiences. No matter who or anything, as long as it looks like Kobe, has a body shape like Kobe, or even looks like Kobe, then it can be a prison. The "prison family" has also taken advantage of the momentum, as long as people think that there are black spots, or people who die in a bizarre way, they will be included - some time ago, "prison two" Messi, LOL professional player "prison jiejie" who accidentally fell and injured his head, and "prison master" Gojo Satoru who died in a way that was too clown......
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At this point, the prison stalk has achieved another evolution, in fact, it has little to do with hell jokes, and is more like a concentrated embodiment of the abstract spirit of the whole people in this era of great abstraction on the Internet.
And when the height of the meme rises to the level of "people", what is produced is usually called performance art. If the explosion of the "Guizhou Big Brother-in-law" was just an accident during the hell joke period, then the success of the Yunnan guy who appeared recently officially announced the arrival of the era of "Congenital Mamba Holy Body".
"Big brother-in-law"
The so-called Congenital Mamba Eucharist refers to the original mediocre young man, who unexpectedly got the guidance of a master and became a real man, with 100,000+ people in the live broadcast room, and the legendary story of Cullinan in a month.
As the saying goes, when a whale falls, all things are born. After witnessing the inspirational story of the Yunnan guy, countless variants of Mamba have sprung up like mushrooms after a rain. For the sake of the show's effect, they can passionately elbow each other with "sworn enemy Yao Ming" in the live broadcast room;
It can also be just a bottle of iced black tea with a braised egg on top.
On Douyin, more and more people are posting selfies, hoping to have a master to guide them and make themselves the next congenital holy body. Everyone is troubled by their ordinariness, and everyone feels that they may not be ordinary, contradictory and unified, hoping that a deceased basketball player will change their fate.
These things are so absurd that they don't seem to be true, so they can only be true.
Now, even elementary and middle school students who have never watched basketball are familiar with the legend of the prison. So now, what can i say? Children who have not yet been tainted with abstraction, and maybe there will be no more.
Save the kids. Save Kobe.
Kobe Bean Bryant is a former American professional basketball player who plays as a shooting guard.
In November 1999, 21-year-old Kobe Bryant met dancer Vanessa Lane, then 17, while working on his first music album. The two claimed to have fallen in love with each other at first sight and got engaged in May 2000. But for some reason, Bryant's parents strongly opposed the relationship. In April 2001, Kobe Bryant and Vanessa got married, but none of Kobe's family attended.
In June 2003, Colorado Eagle County police arrested Bryant, then 24, after a 19-year-old hotel waitress called the police that Bryant had raped her in a hotel room. While on bail, Bryant held a press conference with his wife, Vanessa, admitted that he had extramarital sex with the woman, apologized to his wife and the public, but denied sexual assault, insisting that the sex was consensual.
The woman's neck and lower body had scars directly related to this case, which was obviously unfavorable to Kobe. However, the police later found that the woman had had sex with two other men within 18 hours of the incident, including a male waiter who provided her with key information (Kobe Bryant was going to check into the hotel). In September 2004, the woman decided to abandon the lawsuit and choose to settle out of court, and the settlement amount was not disclosed to the public, and the truth of the Eagle County incident was closed.
In June 2009, China Soong Ching Ling Foundation and the Kobe Bryant Family Foundation signed an agreement in the United States to establish the Kobe Bryant China Fund. The first batch of 5 million yuan was donated to build Kobe Basketball Plaza in the earthquake-stricken area of Chengdu, Sichuan. In 2011, Kobe Bryant co-starred with Jay Chou in a Sprite soda commercial, and sang the advertising song "Heaven and Earth Fight", and all the profits from the music were donated to poor schools to strengthen basketball facilities.
In 2018, Kobe Bryant's animated short film "Dear Basketball" won the Academy Award for Best Animated Short Film, becoming the first basketball player in history to be awarded the Golden Man.
On January 26, 2020, Bryant died at the age of 41 in a crash on a hillside outside Calabasas along with his second daughter Gianna and college baseball coach John Altobelli on the way to Los Angeles in a private helicopter.
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