01
That summer three years ago, my ex-wife and I stood in front of the courthouse, holding the divorce agreement we had just signed.
On that day, the sun was dazzling, but it couldn't illuminate the already gray sky in our hearts. We used to love each other deeply, but because of my betrayal, we went to this point of no return.
My ex-wife is a gentle and kind woman, and we met in our young college days. At that time, we chased our dreams together, supported each other, and spent the best time of our lives together.
After graduating, we entered the palace of marriage hand in hand and made a vow to be together for a lifetime.
However, the pressure of work and the trivialities of life after marriage gradually wore down my patience and enthusiasm.
I began to feel that marriage was a kind of bondage for me, and I don't know when I became more and more eager to find a new kind of excitement and passion.
02
That's when I met another woman. She was young, beautiful, and full of energy, and it was simply that long-lost dream in my heart.
We quickly fell in love, and I even forgot that I was already a married man, and we would have trysts together whenever I had the chance.
My ex-wife noticed some changes in me, and after she found out that I had another woman outside, she tried to salvage our marriage, but I couldn't get out of this affair. Eventually, we went to divorce.
However, the days after the divorce were not as good as I imagined, and I didn't get together with that woman in the end, because after I was really with her, she always remembered the betrayal I had made, and as long as I came back later, she would suspect that I had betrayed her, and then she would have a big fight with me.
Once, I was having dinner with a few good friends, and because there was a female friend among the people who were eating, she saw it when she came to me, and she got into a fight with me at the dinner table, which made everyone very embarrassed.
03
As a result, our relationship became more and more strained, and her arrogance and ex-wife's empathy were two extremes.
So, I began to miss my ex-wife's gentleness and thoughtfulness, and I missed the scene when she took care of me every time I got drunk outside.
In the end, I couldn't stand her domineering love for me and broke up with her. Of course, she wouldn't break up with me so easily, and she cried and quarreled with me for a week, until I said that I would compensate her 300,000 yuan, and she refused to stop.
Later, I heard from a friend that my ex-wife was not depressed after the divorce, she faced life positively, worked hard, and constantly improved herself.
I have seen some changes in my ex-wife's circle of friends from her dynamics, she has become more independent and confident than before, and it also makes me admire and appreciate it more.
I tried to get in touch with her, but she always responded to me coldly.
One time I met her during a morning run, but I saw a handsome and sunny man next to her, and the two of them were jogging together, talking and laughing. At that moment, I knew that I had lost her trust and love.
04
Three years have passed, and I have never forgotten my ex-wife. Whenever I see scenes that were once familiar, I am reminded of the times we used to spend together.
I regret my decision, I regret that I betrayed my marriage and hurt my ex-wife's heart. I know that it was all my own fault and that I am not in a position to ask for forgiveness from my ex-wife.
However, I still want to make some amends for my mistakes, because as long as my ex-wife doesn't remarry, I still have hope to get her back.
So, I started trying to change myself and become more mature and stable. I also work hard every day to improve my abilities and hope to give my ex-wife a better future.
I'm still keeping an eye on her life, and while she's still wary of me, I'm sure time will prove my sincerity and determination.
05
Now, I'm no longer that impulsive and naïve man. I learned how to love someone and how to take responsibility for myself.
I know that all of this changed because of my guilt and regret for my ex-wife. I hope that I can spend the rest of my life to make up for her pain and protect her happiness.
Perhaps, the ex-wife will one day find her own happiness. But I still want to tell her that I really regret it. I now regret betraying my marriage and hurting her heart. I regret not cherishing the good times we once had. If I could turn back the clock, I would definitely choose to stay by her side and protect our love.
I know that in this world, there is no regret pill to sell. But I will prove my change and sincerity with my actions.
If one day, my ex-wife is willing to give me a chance, I will not hesitate to seize it and spend the rest of my life to make up for my mistakes.
Three years have made me deeply aware of my mistakes and stupidity. I will cherish my current life and strive to become a better person.
I hope that my story can shed some light on those who are going through a marital crisis: cherish the person in front of you and don't betray your marriage easily. Because once lost, it may never be recovered.