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As night fell, the streets became thinner and thinner. I sat alone in front of the window, staring at the bright moon outside the window. Tonight, her husband Zhao Lei is not at home again, and he is on a business trip all year round. I missed his thoughtfulness and love, but I also began to feel a little lonely and lonely.
I am reminded of Li Ming, a young colleague from our company. He was handsome, friendly, and seemed to have other plans for me. I was secretly happy, but I also knew that it was not right. I'm a married wife, how can I cheat? I tried to calm myself down, but deep down, I was still faintly expecting something.
In the café, Li Ming sat very close and frequently cast ambiguous glances. I felt a little uncomfortable, but I was too embarrassed to say no.
"Xiaoyan, you've been working hard lately, haven't you?" Li Ming said softly, "I don't think you look very good, have you been under too much pressure recently?"
My heart throbbed, and I quickly replied with a smile: "It's nothing, it's just that I've been working more overtime recently." Thank you for your concern. "
Li Ming looked me up and down, his eyes were extremely ambiguous: "Actually, I've always paid attention to you, you know it, right?"
My heart pounded, and I subconsciously shrank back. Seeing this, Li Ming smiled and reached out to touch the back of my hand.
I was startled and quickly withdrew my hand. Although there was a hint of excitement in my heart, reason prevailed. I bluntly rejected him: "Li Ming, I'm already married, we can't do this." "
Li Ming's expression was gloomy, but he didn't stop there.
In the days that followed, Li Ming approached me even more aggressively. He always looked for opportunities to be alone with me, talking about some things that he didn't have, revealing obvious ambiguous signals. On a few occasions, he even said things out of line to me in front of other colleagues.
At first I was disgusted by this, but gradually, I began to waver. I felt so lonely, too hungry for attention and love. Zhao Lei has been away for a long time, and I really feel that life is boring. And Li Ming is considerate to me, which inevitably makes me feel moved.
Finally, one day, I didn't refuse Li Ming's date. After work, we went to his apartment together. At first everything was normal, and we chatted about work. But after three rounds of drinking, the atmosphere gradually became intimate. Li Ming put his arm around my waist and kissed me lightly on the cheek.
"Xiaoyan, don't run away anymore. You and I both know that we love each other. "
My intellect told me to refuse, but my body unexpectedly cooperated with his movements. We kissed, hugged, and soon fell into a more intimate relationship.
That night, I had a physical relationship with Li Ming. At first, I was filled with guilt and self-blame, but I was quickly overwhelmed by the frenzy of sensuality. I indulged myself in the thrill of this affair, leaving my reason and conscience behind.
Afterwards, I felt more empty and self-loathing than I had ever felt before. How I am sorry for my husband who loves me so much? How I have lost my bottom line and my dignity? I hate my weakness and indulgence, but I can't do anything about it. Tears welled up in my eyes, and I cursed myself countless times in my heart.
Just when I was heartbroken, I received a call from the company. The company was seized and all employees were ordered to stand by pending further notice, the other party said.
This is undoubtedly a slap in the face. I was completely panicked. Zhao Lei and I have invested all our savings in this company, and if the company goes bankrupt, our future will be lost. And I did such an immoral thing at this juncture! I immediately called Zhao Lei, but no one answered. I had no choice but to leave a message and tell him about the company's seizure.
When Zhao Lei finally called back, his tone was very cold, as if he already knew something. My heart sank, and I suddenly had a terrible premonition.
"Wife, there is something I must tell you. Zhao Lei's voice was hoarse, revealing endless anger and disappointment, "I know, you and Li Ming's affairs." "
I was shaken, and tears welled up in my eyes again. Zhao Lei already knew! Who told him? What was the purpose? I was in great pain, and I would rather the company go bankrupt than lose Zhao Lei's trust and love.
"Opportunity?" Zhao Lei sneered, "Are you worthy? You ruined our love with your own hands, how can I trust you again?"
Zhao Lei hung up the phone resolutely. I fell to the ground and wept aloud. I understand that I buried this relationship with my own hands, and my impulse made me lose everything.
For the next few days, I was in a very painful situation. I lost my job, I lost my husband, and I lost myself. I began to reflect on my life and on what led me to this point of no return.
Is it the boring and dull married life? Is it the desire for new things? Or is it out of unconscious revenge against my husband? I think back to the bits and pieces of getting along with Zhao Lei, and I realize that the contradictions between us have been going on for a long time.
Zhao Lei works diligently and travels all year round. He was indeed a little uncaring and considerate of me. And I was like a spoiled child, always expecting more attention and pampering. This conflict intensified over the years, and eventually brewed into my infidelity.
In this way, Zhao Lei left, ignoring even my pleas. I fell to the ground and wept aloud. Tears were hot and soaked through the dress. I understand that I buried this relationship with my own hands, and my impulse made me lose everything.
Since then, I have moved out of our old house and rented a rental house for myself. I quit that job and started living on my own.
The days were difficult, and I often couldn't sleep at night, and I thought back to the past as if I had epilepsy. Zhao Lei's back, Li Ming's temptation, and my pathetic weakness are playing in a loop in my mind. I hated myself, but I couldn't change what had happened.
Gradually, I began to reflect on my life and began to regret my mistakes. I realized that to make up for this trauma, I had to start with myself and rebuild the meaning and value of my life.
I began to repair my broken heart and began to purify myself with a new way of life. I participated in volunteer activities and went to poor areas to teach; I help some people in need to atone for their sins with practical actions.
Perhaps, one day, I will be able to get out of the haze and welcome a new life. And that scarred past will just be a process that has made me more resilient. Life is long, and I will embark on a new journey with a weathered heart.
In the days when I was renting alone, I often reflected on my mistakes and thought about how to get back into life.
After much thought, I realized that all of these factors exist to a greater or lesser extent. Zhao Lei works diligently and travels all year round, so he is indeed a little careless and considerate of me. And I was like a spoiled child, always expecting more care and attention. This conflict intensified over the years, and eventually brewed into my infidelity.
But even so, my betrayal of my marriage was wrong and despicable. I ruined a once beautiful relationship with my own hands, and I also broke the heart of someone who truly loved me. This is the greatest shame and regret of my life.
I began to reflect on my own values and how one should live. Love needs to be tolerant of each other and need to be maintained by both parties. Married life, although uneventful, is also an important part of life. If you always seek excitement and novelty, you will end up physically and mentally exhausted.
I have come to realize that the meaning of life is not only to satisfy selfish desires, but also to pursue noble ideals. Only by establishing a correct outlook on life and values can we live a happy and fulfilling life.
So, I began to purify myself with practical actions. I participated in some volunteer activities and went to poor areas to teach. Looking at the innocent smiles of those children, my heart felt more relieved than ever.
I also often go to some nursing homes to volunteer and help the elderly there. Looking at their kind faces, I seemed to see my own future. I told myself to live a sunny and positive life, and not to be bothered by negative emotions like I used to.
Once, when I was volunteering at an aid station, I met an elderly man. She is over 80 years old, but she is still full of energy and optimism. We quickly became friends.
"Child, you must be in a lot of pain right now, aren't you?" The old man said gently, "But don't give up hope. Life is like this, and it is inevitable that you will encounter setbacks and frustrations. The key is to have a positive heart and always have a grateful attitude. "
"Thanksgiving?" I asked, confused, "What should I be thankful for? "
The old man smiled: "You are still young, and you have a great future." You should thank Heaven for giving you this opportunity to learn from your mistakes and start anew. Many people do not have such an opportunity in their lifetime, rest on their laurels, and regret it for the rest of their lives. "
I was silent, and the old man's words struck me hard in the heart like a hammer.
She had a point. I did something wrong, but that doesn't mean I'm down forever. I am still young and have a bright future, and as long as I learn from my past mistakes and rediscover the meaning and direction of my life, I will be able to start again and live a happy life.
In this way, inspired by the old man, I completely let go of my inner obsession. I began to purify myself with a new way of life and atone for my sins with practical actions.
I continued to participate in volunteer activities and do good deeds everywhere. Every time I see the smiles of the recipients, I feel great comfort in my heart. I told myself that this was the meaning of life, not the pursuit of fame and fortune like I used to.
I also learned to be independent and self-disciplined and to stay away from immoral temptations. I began to pursue a noble ideal of life, nourishing my heart with positive energy, and purifying my soul with good deeds.
I secretly hope that one day, we will be able to meet again. At that point, I will sincerely apologize to him and show him my new self. Perhaps, he will forgive me, and maybe, we have a chance to start over.
But even if he doesn't forgive me, I'll be guilty. Because after all this, I've learned to forgive myself. With a grateful heart, I will continue to move forward and pursue a nobler and more meaningful life.
In this way, little by little, I regained myself and began to forgive myself for being that old self. I learned that life is like this, full of regrets but tirelessly moving forward. I lost a relationship, but I also gained a new meaning in life.
That once scarred past was just a process that made me more resilient. Now, I will embark on a new journey with a weathered heart. I want to use my practical actions to explain to the world what tolerance and kindness are.
Life is long, and I will face all challenges with gratitude. I will nourish my body and mind with positive energy, and nourish my soul with good deeds. I will embark on the path of happiness again with a new attitude.
After rediscovering myself and establishing a new philosophy of life, my life began to embark on a new track. I quit my old job and started working as a freelancer.
This new job has given me enough free time to continue to devote myself to public welfare. I often use my spare time to volunteer in some poor areas and teach children there.
Every time I see the innocent smiles of those children, my heart is relieved like never before. I told myself that this was the meaning of life, not the pursuit of fame and fortune like I used to.
During a volunteer teaching activity, I met a young girl. Her name is Xiaomi, her family is poor, but her personality is lively and cheerful, and she studies very hard. I had a crush on her and took the initiative to form a godsister friendship with her.
Xiaomi told me that her dream is to be admitted to university and become a teacher in the future, and to teach everywhere like me. "Sister, I also want to be like you and use my own strength to help others. She blinked her big watery eyes, and her eyes were innocent.
I was deeply moved by her words. Yes, using your own strength to help others is the most meaningful thing. I used to be so selfish, but now I have found a new value in life.
So, I decided to fully sponsor Xiaomi's studies so that she could fulfill her wish and become an excellent teacher in the future. I started crowdfunding for her online, calling on my friends to lend a hand.
Unexpectedly, the crowdfunding campaign received an enthusiastic response and quickly reached the target amount. Millet cried tears of joy and thanked me over and over again. And I told her that this is what I should do, because helping others is my new philosophy in life.
Since then, Xiaomi and I have been as close as sisters. I often visit her house and talk to her family. Xiaomi's parents are a pair of simple and kind farmers, and watching their hard work, I think of my own parents.
Yes, the love of parents is the most selfless and pure love. But I broke their hearts with my own hands and made them sigh. Thinking of this, I can't help but feel a pang in my heart.
So, I made up my mind to make up for my parents' shortcomings as soon as possible. I booked a plane ticket and flew back to my hometown.
Everything in my hometown is so familiar, but yet so unfamiliar. I stood in front of my parents' house with mixed feelings. I felt guilty and missed my parents, but I didn't know where to start.
Just as I was hesitating, the door suddenly opened, and a familiar figure appeared in front of me.
"Xiaoyan, why are you here?" My mother's look of surprise brought tears to my eyes.
My mother hugged me and patted me on the back comfortingly: "Silly child, let it pass." Mom only hopes that you will live well, and your happiness is our greatest wish. "
Just then, my father came out. The moment he saw me, his eyes were complicated, and various emotions such as joy, self-blame, and relief were intertwined.
My father didn't speak, but just stepped forward and hugged me into his arms, tears welling up in his eyes.
In this way, we hugged each other and cried, releasing all the guilt and apologies of the years. I know that my parents have forgiven me, and they will always be my solid support.
"Xiaoyan, you have finally come out of the haze and found the right path in life. As parents, we are so happy for you. The father said earnestly, "You must always maintain this kindness and integrity, and use your actions to influence more people." "
"Yes, daughter, you are our pride now. Mother also praised repeatedly, "If you keep doing good deeds and accumulating virtue like this, you will definitely be able to get ahead one day in the future." "
I nodded, my eyes moist. With the understanding and support of my parents, my future is destined to be smooth sailing.
In this way, I spent almost a month at home. On the day of my departure, my parents were unable to keep me, so they reluctantly watched me leave.
"Xiaoyan, wherever you go, take care of your body. If anything, feel free to call us. With tears in her eyes, the mother instructed.
"Xiaoyan, you are already a person in charge. But no matter what, this will always be your home. "My father patted me on the shoulder and spoke earnestly.
I nodded vigorously, and finally took a step back on my way.
After leaving my hometown, my heart was filled with unprecedented strength. With the understanding and support of my parents, my future is destined to be smooth sailing.
I am determined to make my career bigger and make public welfare undertakings practical. I want more people to realize the value of kindness and tolerance, and use my practical actions to influence and influence others.
Soon, the project gained a lot of attention online. More and more people are joining in spontaneously and using their strength to sponsor those children in need.
Watching this project go from strength to strength fills my heart with pride and joy. I told myself that this was the value of life that I should strive for, not be obsessed with money like I used to.