Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has always been a problem for the ages, and it is really tricky to deal with.
Some women, no matter what the circumstances, can handle all kinds of relationships in their in-laws' house with ease, and are respected and loved by their husbands and in-laws.
But there are some women, although they have paid a lot, they always seem to be unable to find their place in their in-laws' family, and the more they are wronged.
Women who have no status in their in-laws' family often have three obvious characteristics on their bodies, and I hope you don't have any of them.
01
He has no opinions of his own and is used to clinging to others
The first obvious characteristic of a woman who has no status in her in-law's family is that she lacks independent opinions and is accustomed to being dependent on others.
When faced with some problems at home, they often choose to go with the flow, and they dare not and are unwilling to express their opinions. Even if you have an idea in your heart, you will choose to remain silent because of the fear of conflict or the fear of being denied.
For example, some women, after marrying into their mother-in-law's family, are always accustomed to obeying the arrangements of their mother-in-law and husband.
Whether it is the style of home decoration or the arrangement of holidays, she has no own opinions, and always says "you just decide".
Over time, her in-laws' family became accustomed to not asking for her opinion, and her status in her in-laws' family was gradually marginalized.
If a woman wants to have a status in her in-law's family, she must first have her own opinions and dare to express her own opinions, rather than blindly relying on others and choosing to be obedient and compromised.
02
Excessive tolerance and lack of bottom line
The second characteristic of having no status in the in-law's family is excessive tolerance and lack of bottom line.
In order to avoid contradictions and conflicts, some women will choose to back down without a bottom line. They are afraid that their ideas will cause discord in the family, so they always make compromises.
However, this excessive tolerance often makes them lose themselves and eventually lose their status in the in-laws' family.
For example, in order to have a good relationship with her mother-in-law, some women will try their best to meet all kinds of requirements of their mother-in-law, even some unreasonable demands.
It's just that this kind of bottomless satisfaction may not necessarily win your mother-in-law's respect and understanding, but will make your mother-in-law feel that you are weak and bulliful.
If you don't do it, your status in the family will be lower and lower, and even your basic right to speak will be lost.
As the saying goes: "People are good at being bullied, and horses are good at being ridden." ”
Women in their in-laws' homes should learn to set their own bottom line and have the courage to stick to it. Only in this way can you get the respect you deserve at home, and not let others bully.
03
Low sense of self-worth and lack of self-confidence
After marrying into their in-laws' family, some women always feel that they are outsiders, dare not express their needs, and do not dare to fight for themselves, and always go backwards again and again.
Deep down, they always think that they are worthless and that they do not deserve to have a place in the family.
It's like some women, the conditions at home are not very good, after marrying into their in-laws' family, they always feel that they are not as good as their in-laws, and they are always cautious at home, for fear of doing something wrong.
Even when her in-laws ignore or snub her, she will only endure it silently, not daring to stand up and speak for herself, let alone defend her rights and interests. In the long run, her status in the family will naturally become lower and lower.
In order to change this situation of having no status in the in-laws' family, women need to learn to set their own bottom line, have the courage to express their needs, and strive to improve their self-confidence and sense of worth.
Of course, change doesn't happen overnight. It requires you to put in the effort and time to gradually adjust your mindset and behavior.
But remember, it's never too late to change, no matter when you start. As long as you are willing to take the first step, it is possible to find your own place in your in-laws' house again.