Text: Marriage counselor Liu Jie
Friendship between people of the opposite sex is like a clear stream, which can bring different scenery and fun in the journey of life.
However, as the stream gradually merges into a river, and the current becomes turbulent and deep, we should perhaps re-examine the nature of the relationship.
In some cases, friendships between people of the opposite sex may no longer be so "pure" and quietly incorporate more emotional overtones.
Some things are like a "watershed" on this river of friendship, once crossed, the original simple friendship may have begun to deteriorate.
Between the opposite sex, if you have done the following things, it is no longer a "pure friendship".
01
Frequent and intimate physical contact
The boundaries of friendship are about respecting each other and keeping an appropriate distance.
However, when there is frequent intimate physical contact between people of the opposite sex, such as hugging, holding hands, or even touching the cheek, this intimacy has gone beyond the worries of ordinary friends.
Body language is the most direct way of communication between people. Frequent intimate physical contact is undoubtedly conveying a deeper emotional message to the other party.
Just like between some ordinary friends, when two people get closer and closer, they pull hands from time to time, pat shoulders, and even snuggle up to each other at night when no one is around.
So this kind of intimate physical contact has long transcended the boundaries of friendship, implying that there are already different feelings between them.
02
Late night whispers and confiding
Late at night is the time when people's emotions are the most vulnerable, and it is also the moment when the soul needs the most comfort.
If the opposite sex often has a long secret conversation late at night and confides in each other's thoughts and troubles, then this relationship is likely to be no longer pure.
Late-night conversations are often accompanied by the outpouring of emotions and the opening of the heart. This kind of in-depth communication is easy for people to rely on and resonate.
For example, there are men and women who are originally just colleagues at work. But gradually, the two began to chat non-stop in the middle of the night, not only about work, life, and even began to share each other's emotional experiences.
This kind of in-depth communication will make their relationship more and more intimate, and it is no longer a simple colleague relationship.
03
Spend the big day together
On important occasions, such as birthdays, anniversaries or holidays, we usually choose to spend time with the people closest to us.
If the opposite sex begins to spend these important days together, then the relationship between them is likely to have transcended the boundaries of friendship.
Spending important days together means that each other's status in each other's hearts is already extraordinary. This increase in intimacy is often noticeable.
It's like between some men and women, maybe it's just a classmate relationship, or a friend relationship. But the two people are very close to each other, and they can always think about each other on special days.
For example, celebrating each other's birthdays, giving birthday gifts, and going on a trip together, and they are all two people alone, then this is no longer a simple relationship.
Once these three things have been done between the opposite sex, then the relationship between them is probably not "pure friendship".
Of course, this is not to say that there can be no real friendship between the opposite sex, but we must clearly understand where the boundaries of friendship and love are, and avoid unnecessary troubles for both parties because of the ambiguous relationship.
Bi Shumin once said: "Keeping a distance from each other may be the most appropriate way to communicate." ”
In heterosexual interactions, we need to learn to grasp the sense of proportion, cherish those true friendships, and at the same time learn to discern which relationships are beyond the scope of friendship.
Only in this way can we better grasp our emotional lives and find those friendships and love that are truly worth cherishing.