During the Republic of China, a "Zhang Ailing trend" emerged, and it is said that Zhang Ailing's stories were beyond her time, so many literature lovers sought after them and rushed to read Zhang Ailing's words.
Zhang Ailing is a well-known writer in the literary circle of the Republic of China, such a famous talented woman, but she has dealt with "fleas" for half her life?
Zhang Ailing did not live well when she was a child, her parents divorced when she was 10 years old, Zhang Ailing lived with her father, her father was a typical old and young old society, smoking opium, visiting green houses, eating, drinking, prostituting and gambling everything, her stepmother often beat and scolded her, and her childhood experience caused indelible damage to her young heart, and because of this, she developed an indifferent and arrogant, impersonal character.
In 1943, Zhang Ailing published the novel "Agarwood Crumbs, the First Incense" in the "Violet", since then Zhang Ailing's name has been an instant hit in the Shanghai literary circle.
Since then, Zhang Ailing's works have been published continuously, winning the love of countless readers, and she therefore occupies an important position in the literary circle of the Republic of China.
Zhang Ailing is desperate to pursue true love, even if Hu Lancheng already has a family, she has not flinched, what is surprising is that she is only six years older than Hu Lancheng's children, and what is even more difficult for the people around her to accept is that Hu Lancheng is actually a famous traitor! He was the head of the propaganda department of Wang's puppet regime during the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression!
Hu Lancheng is not only a traitor, but also an out-and-out scumbag! Hu Lancheng often goes in and out of Fengyue places, entangled and frolicking with all kinds of women, and to him Zhang Ailing is just one of his many women! But Zhang Ailing loves him thoroughly and loves him crazy, and she has given Hu Lancheng many opportunities, but it is a pity that Hu Lan's character is difficult to change.
In 1955, she set foot on the land of the United States, and successfully obtained the right to live in the United States for a long time as a "refugee".
In a completely different cultural atmosphere, American readers did not buy Eileen Chang's novels set in old Shanghai, and the manuscripts she submitted repeatedly hit a wall, and Eileen Chang, who had no survival skills other than writing, even became a problem for survival.
She was so arrogant, but the pressure of life finally made her lower her head, in desperation she chose the art camp as a free shelter, isolated in a strange country, she found that no matter how high the arrogance is not as good as a piece of bread, I didn't expect that the 36-year-old Zhang Ailing is still a "love brain", she fell in love with the 65-year-old Lai Ya, maybe because she had no relatives in a foreign country, so she hurriedly wanted to find a man to rely on.
Lai Ya is talented, literary attainments are extraordinary, only known for more than five months and the two entered the marriage hall hand in hand, in Lai Ya's records, it can be seen that he and Zhang Ailing met in March, and had a skin-to-skin relationship in May, so Zhang Ailing was pregnant when she got married, but then Zhang Ailing knocked out the child.
There are still many controversies about the exploration of this statement, some people say that Lai Ya is too old to raise children, and some people think that Lai Ya and his ex-wife's daughter cannot accept a younger brother and sister who is dozens of years younger than themselves.
Among these multiple explanations, there is only one: it is Zhang Ailing who took the initiative to kill the child. Many people will think that it is impossible for a mother to be willing to kill her own biological child, but Zhang Ailing has her own worries, she has always been resentful of her mother when she was a child, she hates her mother for abandoning her, so she has never dared to have extravagant hopes for maternal love.
Doubts about motherly love
Although her mother would help her study or live from time to time when she was a child, the sensitive Zhang Ailing didn't want to believe that her mother cared about her, and she even felt that her mother helped her in order for her to support her mother in the future, so after Zhang Ailing grew up and wrote books to earn money, she sent money directly to her mother, she said unfamiliarly: "I spent so much money on you when I was a child, I have always been reluctant to go, and I will return it to you at one time today." ”
Hearing this, her mother actually cried, she said: "Although I am not a person who treats you very well, you don't have to treat me like this!" Obviously, Zhang Ailing's goal of revenge has been achieved, and she feels more comfortable than ever.
But for parents, when your children who have worked hard to raise you say to you: "Thank you for the money you spent on me, I really don't want to go away, and now I will pay it back to you!"
When her mother was seriously ill and dying, her mother wrote a letter to Zhang Ailing, saying that she wanted to see her daughter for the last time, and Zhang Ailing, who saw the letter, felt that her mother wanted to see her because she had no money for treatment, so she sent a lot of banknotes backhanded, and she never wanted to believe that her mother really loved her and wanted to see her.
After her mother's death, Zhang Ailing in the United States received all her mother's inheritance, all of which were valuable antiques, and then Zhang Ailing realized that she seemed to have done something wrong, and then she had a serious illness.
Perhaps it was because of the sorrow of her childhood that she was extremely insecure, she didn't dare to ask for family affection, and he didn't dare to expect love, so she didn't dare to have children.
After the death of her husband, Zhang Ailing returned to loneliness again
The 65-year-old Lai Ya is in poor health, has suffered a fracture and a stroke, and Zhang Ailing can only take care of his diet and daily life day after day.
Zhang Ailing thought that this home was her safe haven, but she didn't expect it to become a heavy burden, she once again had to bow to reality, desperately writing to earn manuscript fees, her works have no market in the United States, so Zhang Ailing wrote scripts for related film companies with the help of good friends to earn Weibo income.
Lai Ya has been bedridden since she fell in the library, Zhang Ailing can only take care of Lai Ya while working, but she never thought of leaving, and she tries her best to take care of Lai Ya every day, probably she is already very satisfied with having such a home, in 1967, 76-year-old Lai Ya died, Zhang Ailing's life returned to her alone.
Life is a gorgeous robe, crawling with lice - the loneliness and splendor of Zhang Ailing
Eileen Chang came to Los Angeles in 1972, and for the first three years, although she did not have a stable financial source, she still insisted on pinning her dreams on the end of her pen and writing as the whole sustenance of her life.
In her youth, Zhang Ailing emerged with her talent and was full of self-confidence, but in her twilight years, she compromised under the pressure of life and bowed her head to the world.
In addition to the frustration and constraints of real life, from August 1984 to March 1988, Zhang Ailing moved more than 180 times in Los Angeles in just three and a half years! She was either moving, or on the way to move, the reason why she kept changing her residence was really unexpected, it was to avoid fleas?
Her friends described to us the details of Eileen Chang's life in her later years:
In order to save money, she bought a second-hand freezer, but she didn't expect fleas to quietly breed a large patch at the bottom of the freezer, which gave her a headache, and even had to cut her hair short, wash her hair frequently every day, and finally she could only wear disposable plastic clothes, and throw them away when they ran out, and her life was extremely embarrassing, and she was not even in the mood to eat. ”
Zhang Ailing carries simple luggage with her, as long as she finds fleas in her new residence, she will leave immediately, Zhang Ailing, a talented woman of the Republic of China, the focus of her life in her later years is not writing and research, let alone traveling, but fighting fleas with great difficulty, and no one knows the sadness......
As early as when she was 17 years old, Zhang Ailing said: "Life is a beautiful robe full of lice." The young girl was so emotional, and her words revealed her unfulfilled expectations for life, but this sentence came true as predicted in the future!
A friend said that Eileen Chang did suffer from a skin disease caused by flea bites, but it later turned into her psychological hallucinations, and another friend even believed that Eileen Chang was mentally ill and suspected that her "flea dreadosis" came from deep down.
In her later years, Zhang Ailing not only kept a distance from insects, but also tried to avoid crowds, she chose to live in seclusion, and spent a period of melancholy and loneliness alone.
In 1995, during the Mid-Autumn Festival, the landlord opened the door only to find that Zhang Ailing had lost her breath, the literary genius died at home in Los Angeles at the age of 75, and the forensic doctor deduced that the death was caused by the recurrence of cardiovascular and cerebrovascular diseases, and she had been dead for 7 days when she was found.
In the early morning of September 19, a friend cremated Zhang Ailing's body in the Huijieer cemetery, Zhang Ailing had no children, and no relatives were present at the cremation, and her ashes were scattered into the Pacific Ocean in accordance with her last wishes.
After Eileen Chang's death, her works received unprecedented attention, and the "Eileen Chang craze" surged in the 80s and quickly swept the entire Chinese-speaking world.
Eileen Chang's strange will
She was cremated directly after her death, her body was not allowed to be seen, and her ashes were scattered in a peaceful wilderness without any farewell ceremony.
Looking at these three wills, it is indeed strange enough, the second and third are okay, although they are strange, but they can also be explained by personal wishes, maybe Zhang Ailing wants to go lightly.
So why didn't she want others to see her body?
Zhang Ailing is a lonely and beautiful woman, she has been living alone in her later years, it seems to foresee that she will die alone one day in the future, and because there is no one to take care of her, no one may immediately notice when she leaves, if this is the case, then her last face will become unbearable, how can a proud person like Zhang Ailing tolerate her unbearable appearance to be seen by others?
Life is a gorgeous robe, crawling with fleas, Zhang Ailing has actually seen through her life......
Text/Shi Zhenxiang
Editor/Shi Zhenxiang