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Absent from his son's wedding
In 2016, Zhang Fengyi, a well-known movie star who is 60 years old, bought a luxury sports car worth up to 1.5 million yuan for his stepdaughter. This move immediately sparked widespread doubts and discussions from the outside world.
As a father, Zhang Fengyi is extremely strict with his biological son Zhang Boyu. When he learned that Zhang Boyu wanted to enter the performance circle, he did not hesitate to oppose it.
Zhang Fengyi believes that his son's appearance is very different from his own, more like his ex-wife Lu Liping's appearance, so he is worried about his acting career. He bluntly said, "If you really love acting, then let's cut off contact in the future."
These words undoubtedly hurt Zhang Boyu's self-esteem and made him feel his father's prejudice and coldness.
When Zhang Boyu ushered in the wedding of an important moment in his life in 2014, Zhang Fengyi chose to be absent again. There were 27 tables of guests for this grand wedding, but at the most critical moment, Zhang Boyu's father was absent for no reason.
In this regard, the reason given by Zhang Fengyi is quite pale. He said that he and his ex-wife Lu Liping simply held a banquet back then, and now his son's wedding is too pompous and extravagant.
In addition, he is also worried that if he participates, he will inevitably meet his ex-wife and current wife Sun Hae-young, which will undoubtedly put the whole occasion in an embarrassing situation.
What's even more puzzling is that Zhang Fengyi also claimed that he had participated in too many weddings, most of which ended in divorce, so he tried his best to avoid attending his son's wedding, for fear that it would bring ominous things to his son's marriage.
These remarks undoubtedly aroused great doubts from the outside world. As a father, Zhang Fengyi should fully support his son's happiness, rather than using his past marriage failure as an excuse to refuse to participate in his son's important moments.
In contrast, Zhang Fengyi showed a very different attitude towards his young stepdaughter. In 2016, he did not hesitate to buy a luxury car worth up to 1.5 million for his stepdaughter.
This kind of differential treatment undoubtedly makes people question whether Zhang Fengyi really cares about his biological son and whether he really wants to give him the care he deserves.
Perhaps, Zhang Fengyi has some prejudices and obsessions about his appearance. He feels that he is outstanding in appearance and an excellent actor image, so he also hopes that his son can inherit this advantage.
But when he found out that his son's appearance was very different from his own, he felt frustration and disappointment, and then denied his son's dream of acting.
For his stepdaughter, Zhang Fengyi has another psychological appeal. As a successful actor, he knows the importance of public attention and how to maintain his public image.
In the matter of buying a luxury car for his stepdaughter, he may want to consolidate his position in the eyes of his stepdaughter and maintain his image through material spoiling.
This "double standard" undoubtedly reflects Zhang Fengyi's partiality and imbalance in educating children.
But he protects his stepdaughter
Through Zhang Fengyi's completely different attitudes towards his son and stepdaughter, it is not difficult for us to get a glimpse of his double standards in educating children.
For his biological son Zhang Boyu, Zhang Fengyi has always adopted a very strict and harsh education method. When he learned that his son wanted to enter the acting circle, he did not hesitate to deny it.
In Zhang Fengyi's opinion, his son's appearance is obviously different from himself, and he seems to be somewhat similar to his ex-wife Lu Liping, so he has doubts about his son's acting career.
"If you really love acting, then let's cut ties in the future. These words expressed Zhang Fengyi's helplessness and struggle. As a person who came from a civilian family and later became an acting superstar through his own efforts, he knows the importance of a rigorous education.
He hoped that his son would inherit his strengths and become an excellent actor, so he was extremely strict in his education. But when he found out that his son's appearance was very different from his own, he had a sense of disappointment and frustration, and then denied his son's dream of acting.
This practice undoubtedly seriously hurt Zhang Boyu's self-esteem and self-confidence. A son should have received his father's support and encouragement, but Zhang Fengyi constantly deprived him of the courage to pursue his dreams.
This attitude has brought the father-son relationship to an impasse.
In contrast, Zhang Fengyi showed a very different attitude towards his young stepdaughter. In 2016, he did not hesitate to buy a luxury car worth up to 1.5 million for his stepdaughter.
This kind of differential treatment undoubtedly makes people question whether Zhang Fengyi really cares about his biological son and whether he really wants to give him the care he deserves.
Perhaps, Zhang Fengyi has a special psychological appeal in his heart. As a successful actor, he knows the importance of public attention and how to maintain his public image.
In the matter of buying a luxury car for his stepdaughter, he may want to consolidate his position in the eyes of his stepdaughter and maintain his image through material spoiling.
This "double standard" undoubtedly reflects Zhang Fengyi's partiality and imbalance in educating children.
It is worth mentioning that at the wedding of his son Zhang Boyu, Zhang Fengyi chose to be absent again. The reason he gave was that his son's wedding was too pompous and extravagant, and his wedding that year was just a simple banquet.
But when you think about it, this explanation pales in comparison. As a father, he should fully support his son's entry into the marriage hall, instead of blindly picking and denying it.
This complex state of mind, combined with the communication barrier between the two parties, has led to an increasing tension in the father-son relationship. Even as a father, Zhang Fengyi realized that there were problems with his education methods, but he could not take the initiative to reach out to reconciliation.
On the contrary, he was worried that if he took the initiative to approach his son, it would bring bad luck to the other party, so he chose to escape and avoid.
Such a family relationship problem undoubtedly left a deep regret in Zhang Fengyi's life. As a successful actor, he has achieved great success in his career, but he has struggled in his family life.
His "double standard" education and the conflict with his son make us see the importance of family education and the consequences of its absence.
Seek to repair the parent-child relationship
Although there are obvious differences between Zhang Fengyi's treatment of his son and stepdaughter, he still understands in his heart that as a father, he should be responsible for what he does.
At the moment when his son Zhang Boyu decided to enter the performance circle, Zhang Fengyi may have vaguely felt a trace of regret in his heart. He knew that his denial and hindrance had caused deep trauma to his son, but in the end, he still failed to completely eliminate this estrangement.
When Zhang Boyu relied on his tenacity and willpower to finally be admitted to the Central Academy of Drama, which he had loved for a long time, Zhang Fengyi may have been relieved in his heart, but he still couldn't sincerely apologize and admit his mistakes to his son.
This complex state of mind, combined with the communication barrier between the two parties, has led to an increasing tension in the father-son relationship. Even as a father, Zhang Fengyi realized that there were problems with his education methods, but he could not take the initiative to reach out to reconciliation.
On the contrary, he was worried that if he took the initiative to approach his son, it would bring bad luck to the other party, so he chose to escape and avoid.
Such a psychological line of defense has undoubtedly further deepened the estrangement between father and son. When Zhang Boyu sought self-identity and tried to prove his worth through his artistic career, Zhang Fengyi repeatedly denied and obstructed him, which was tantamount to hurting his son's self-esteem again.
However, in the process, Zhang Fengyi is not completely indifferent and stubborn. His remarriage partner, Huo Fan, has been trying to resolve the conflict between father and son and help them repair their relationship.
When Zhang Boyu's wedding caused controversy over Zhang Fengyi's absence, Huo Fan also lobbied in many ways, hoping that Zhang Fengyi could reconcile. But it's a pity that Zhang Fengyi still can't completely open his heart and take the initiative to face his son.
In the intricacies of this family relationship, Zhang Fengyi has undoubtedly become a person who is "entangled in his heart". As a famous actor, he has earned great success and prestige through his excellent performances.
But at the same time, he can't get rid of his mistakes in the family, and his heart is full of regret and self-blame. He was neither willing to let go of his paternal authority nor sincerely apologize to his son, and this contradiction plunged him into deep helplessness and pain.
For Zhang Fengyi, how to repair the relationship with his son seems to have become the biggest regret and problem in his life. This successful actor, while his career is taking off, his family life is in a dilemma.
He longs to rebuild intimacy with his son, but he can't open his heart and take the initiative to reach out to reconciliation. This inner tear also makes his character more three-dimensional and plump.
When Zhang Boyu sought self-identity and tried to prove his worth through his artistic career, Zhang Fengyi repeatedly denied and obstructed him, which was tantamount to hurting his son's self-esteem again.
On the one hand, Zhang Fengyi can't accept his son's different appearance from himself, and on the other hand, he hopes that his son can inherit his advantages and become an excellent actor.
This ambivalence made it difficult for him to reach out to reconciliation, and eventually reached an impasse.
Reflection on Character Building and Family Education
Looking back on Zhang Fengyi's life experience, it is not difficult to find that he embodies complex and contradictory qualities.
On the one hand, he is a figure who came from an ordinary background but became an acting superstar with outstanding performance. From his youthful youth to his career, Zhang Fengyi has shown amazing talent and hard work.
He has starred in a number of popular classic films, and finally won praise and affirmation from the whole country and even the world with "Farewell My Concubine".
But at the same time, in family life, Zhang Fengyi shows a completely different side. He has a clear double standard in his treatment of his own sons and stepdaughters, giving them completely different ways of education and care.
He is prejudiced and worried about his son Zhang Boyu's film and television career, but he treats his young stepdaughter as his own, and even buys a luxury car for him for up to 1.5 million.
This differentiated attitude can't help but make people question whether Zhang Fengyi, as a father, really cares about his biological son.
From Zhang Fengyi's education methods, it is not difficult to find some deep-seated reasons that support his actions. As a person from an ordinary background, but relying on his own efforts to achieve his career, Zhang Fengyi knows the importance of strict education.
He hoped that his son would inherit his strengths and become an excellent actor, so he was extremely strict in his education. But when he found that his son's appearance was different from his own, he felt a sense of disappointment and frustration, and then denied his son's acting dream.
This deviation in educational philosophy undoubtedly hurt Zhang Boyu's self-esteem and self-confidence. A son should have received his father's support and encouragement, but Zhang Fengyi constantly deprived him of the courage to pursue his dreams.
This practice not only brought the father-son relationship to an impasse, but also made Zhang Boyu feel cold and alienated from his father.
As for his stepdaughter, Zhang Fengyi showed a completely different attitude. He seems to want to strengthen his position in the eyes of his stepdaughter through money and material pampering, and may also be to make up for the emptiness in his heart.
But this practice undoubtedly also leaves a negative impression of "partiality" and "support" to the outside world.
In general, this contradictory trait embodied in Zhang Fengyi reflects his imbalance and mistakes in family education. As a successful actor, the influence of his own strict education continues to this day, but he cannot truly understand and embody the truth of "teaching students according to their aptitude".
He blindly asks his son to imitate him, while ignoring the other party's personal characteristics and needs, which will inevitably lead to conflicts and estrangement.
This kind of family relationship problem not only left Zhang Fengyi's life with regrets, but also made us rethink the responsibility and way of parents to educate their children. Each of us should be aware that educating children is a difficult and delicate task, which requires parents to be open and inclusive, respect their children's individuality and pursuits, and guide them to grow up healthy and happy with love.
Only in this way can we avoid tragedies like Zhang Fengyi's and make the family a haven of warmth and support.